Spite From the Eye

By Bethaleil on DeviantArt

Dream Journal Entry: May 7, 2018

In a dream I was with a boy and during the dream I saw him get older. He was under my care but wasn't my biological son. I agreed to care for him. I looked at us both in the mirror. He is beautiful and he looks similar to me. Now he is an older teen and he looks more like a man now. I am in very large bath tub and he disrobes, getting in. I don't know why he is doing this. There is another woman in the bath with me and she has let my baby's head go under water. I retrieve the baby and make sure she is still breathing and instruct the other woman not to let her go under water again. This teenage child slides into the tub and I feel embarrassed to feel so attracted to him. There is a desire that stirs in me but I feel conflicted. I have raised him as my own son. I love him deeply. He says something like, "Do you want me for yourself..."

I am thinking he knows I am attracted to him at first and then he continues, "...to destroy your enemies like the legend speaks of?" Something is said about taking the spite from the eye and implanting it in the womb to create a being who would destroy their enemies. Anyone in possession of him could use him for this purpose. I had a sense that most people feared him and what he was meant for. I touched him tenderly and lovingly and said, "You may not have been my creation, but I love you as my son. To me, you ARE my son. Just because that was the purpose doesn't mean that the story has to end that way. It can be rewritten if we both choose it. I love you. You are my son. I want you to have a life and many experiences." He said, "I guess your secret is out then." I asked him, "What secret is that? That I am more feeling and caring than people usually realize?" He smiles and said, "Yes, Mama." We embraced a loving embrace. I could feel myself tremble and I hoped he didn't notice. I had a sense that he could sense the stirring inside me that was desire mixed with motherly love. I think I could feel the same desire from him but neither of us acted on it. I wanted him to have a life and experiences and not be stuck with only knowing me. 

Later, I was at a travel agency and was buying a ticket to go home. I am flustered because I realize I already have bought a ticket. I am frustrated with my own forgetfulness. My son is trying to calm me and telling me it is okay. Then I consider that I need a ticket for him anyway, so maybe I could just get the name changed to his instead of buying a new one. I remember seeing a note on blue paper from a travel agent. I couldn't make out what it said. I also remember the envelopes the plane tickets were in were red and white like the old TWA ones used to be. They felt old and used but the tickets inside were at least current. I remember seeing the clock said 4:11 and made note that our flight left at 5 something so we had to go right then to catch our flight.