Thursday, July 20, 2017

My Theory About the Many Celebrity Deaths

Photo by Laura Makabresku

You may not be ready to read this.

It might be too much for you to absorb and consider.

But if your mind is wide open, pull up a chair and let me tell you about my theory about why there have been so many celebrity deaths the last couple of years.

I have touched upon it in posts on Instagram and maybe even here, but I can't remember where specifically right now. I talked about how all the people dying recently are getting on a bus with other aspects of themselves a.k.a. walking into a different body. I want to explain it in a different the way I explained it to those closest to me.

Let's call this my "Vampire Theory" because it comes from various vampire dreams I have had and connecting them to Anne Rice's Vampire series as containing important information relevant to the story I am playing out. It is a vital piece of the "bigger picture" puzzle I have been working at putting together.

I think it is important to point out that there are a lot of hidden truths in our art be it music, movies, books, poems, paintings, photos, etc. There are important messages imbedded in them just waiting to be noticed and understood. It is likely the artist has no idea of the hidden message and its value. They simply create what they feel inspired to create and that is exactly when spirit and our higher mind can come through and communicate what we have forgotten. So, just because something is "fiction" doesn't mean that there isn't profound truths hidden in the shadows hoping we will understand them one day.

Photo by Laura Makabresku

In Anne Rice's Vampire series, we learn about the spirit, Amel, who goes into the first vampires, Akasha and Enkil. In more recent books we learn how vampires are made and a sliver, a tentacle of Amel goes into the new one made. But eventually too many are made and the young ones are insane. Amel is stretched to a point of agony and pain and he moves to influence the some of the older ones to destroy the young ones. Akasha starts out as the vessel of the core Amel. Without the core safely housed, all the vampires would be destroyed. When Akasha is destroyed, one of the Ancient twins, Mekare, takes the core Amel into her. Amel later, when seeking to reduce the numbers of Vampires and thus easing his pain of being stuck in the twin who has become mindless, he ends up with Lestat as his new host of his core.

In spirituality we learn about over souls and how only a tiny sliver animates the human we perform our characters in. Some say that over souls number 12...13 if you include "God" who set the stage for everyone else. I like to call him the Navigator. But then you have reports from people like Edgar Cayce and Dolores Cannon about those who came in as volunteers to try to help get the others who had become trapped, out. Think of the billions of people on the planet and throughout all of time. In here in this Virtual Reality, all of those lives are happening simultaneously. And if only a few people stepped into the Virtual Reality and fractured to have all of the experiences at once, imagine how stretched we have become.

Photo by Laura Makabresku

I believe fully that our time here in the virtual reality, called "Earth Life," is winding down and ready to come to a close so that we can go home to the real organic world.. I believe that our fractured state has kept us in a state of forgetfulness. I believe when people die off, they are joining an aspect of self in a different a body who is ahead in the game and nearing completion. Those who are ahead in the game are those who have done the inner work they need to in order to start remembering who they really are OUT THERE. The more parts of us that join us, the more we remember. Christians call it "getting right with God" and I mostly agree because I believe "God" is at our core and inside. Not some invisible man in the sky. We have to take the difficult journey back to ourselves and self-love in order to be ahead in the game. A lot of people avoid looking at themselves and being really honest. A lot of people cling to beliefs that no longer serve, therefore stunting their ability to grow and expand in self-awareness. A lot of people simply won't open their minds and hearts and, in the end, their bubbles will be burst and they will be eliminated from the game and join an aspect of self who has made the progress they failed at achieving during their life.

A lot of people have died all around me and around the world. Some I knew personally, some are celebrities and many that I simply hear about in the news when it goes viral on social media. Many more will die before it is all over. It is a necessary process. It just has to be if we are going to exit this Virtual Reality. So while it is heart breaking and hard to witness, I understand what is happening and that it has to happen.

Now, about those celebrity deaths.

If you take a look at the list of celebrities whose deaths were most surprising, each one left us with an important message in their art and creations... especially the musicians.

Prince's most popular song is an "end of the world" song titled, 1999. 2000 was supposed to be the year that the world was going to end according to a lot of religious groups. Basically he was saying that we are going to party like the end of the world is tomorrow.

George Michael's song title, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" is a clear message that it is time to wake up and go home. You first have to wake up to real self awareness before we can wake up for real in the OUTSIDE world.

David Bowie left us with Black Star which was loaded with profound meaning in the lyrics but Lazarus is a clear message about rising from the dead. In our state of being in stasis in the real world, we are basically the living dead... rather like vampires.

Chris Cornell's most recent solo album was titled Higher Truth... something we all should be reaching for at this stage of the game.

Most recently Chester Bennington of Linkin Park left us. Popular songs that seem to have a clear message in the title are Waiting for the End, In the End, and One Step Closer.

There are lots of other messages I have seen along the way with other celebrity deaths, but it would take too long to explain. These are just a few of the big ones that are most obvious.

Time is running out for this reality. The messages I have gotten indicate we have about five years left before we go home.

Will you take the journey within or will you be one of the ones who leave?

Everything hinges on your choices. Are you still consumed by greed and material things? Or will you focus on letting go of what you can't take with you and focus on love and compassion?

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Will Work For Food, An Uncertain Future - Updated

I have debated whether or not to get real and honest about my current circumstances. Part of me just wanted to curl up in a ball and fade away into nothingness. Who am I kidding, part of me still does.

My life is a mess.

My relationship is one where we mutually despise each other. We have stayed under the same roof because of our young daughter and the high cost of housing in Portland. We homeschool our daughter and I have been a stay-at-home mom since she was born. Prior to her birth, I was a nanny for 17 years. All together I have 26 years of child care experience.

A couple years ago my husband was let go of from his job. He finally found something else but it paid $20,000 less than his last job. Money was already tight before, but this pay reduction we knew was going to be a real problem eventually. We have hit that proverbial wall and things are starting to feel desperate and scary because the future feels uncertain. We could end up homeless very soon.

I am deeply the point that death often feels like a viable alternative.

I want out of this marriage but I feel trapped.

I have no money of my own, no car, no debt, no credit.

I have tried to come up with options for digging myself out of this hole. I won't compromise what I feel is best for my daughter and sticking her in a public school where they will try to make her sit still is not a path I want to travel. I know where that path leads and I will not medicate my daughter to make her a compliant zombie. I could take her and go to stay with my mother in Missouri. She has a car I could use and could be at home with Inara during the day. But moving back to Missouri is only trading one hell for another. Mom has offered to bring her car here so that I have a way to get to and from a job, which might be a better option, but then there is the issue of actually getting a job. I haven't worked for 9 years and now I have a mini me I need to bring with me.

I was thinking about having to do the whole resume thing and getting a childcare job that would allow me to bring my daughter to work with me. I also considered how much of my thoughts and opinions I have put out into the public and considered I might have to hide who I am again for the sake of work.

I don't want to have to hide.

I don't want to have to pretend to be something I am not.

I am a freak and I fly my flag high and proud. I love to write. I have alternative thoughts and opinions. I say "fuck" a lot. I raise my daughter in an alternative way. My daughter likes to say she wears her darkness on the inside. I say I wear my smile on the inside. Just because you can't see it on my face doesn't mean it isn't there.

Surely there is an employer out there somewhere who could appreciate me and all of my weirdness. Surely there is an equally freakish match for me who could hire me (and my daughter by default) and we would mutually thrive and benefit. If you seriously think you can help me and my daughter, please email me. oktobre17 (at) live dot com. I will consider relocating for the right position.

On July 17, 2017 my mom was hit by a driver. Thankfully she and my sister are okay but the car that was going to be my salvation is now out of commission. Now we could say that I have really shitty luck or see it as guidance and two paths being closed off to me by my guides. It would be nice if they could show me a clear path that is going to save me from homelessness and starvation.