Monday, December 10, 2018

Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Christ Consciousness


"There is a little truth in all humor."

This is a phrase I have used often. There is also truth hidden in all fiction and art born from creativity. It is how the "other side" of the brain we are in communicates with the side we are in.

Santa Claus is real.

Well, sort of.


The person whose brain we are in is both God and Satan. I have talked about this before. We say that Santa Claus sees and hears all.
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake
Goodness sake

And this is absolutely true! He really does know everything about each and every one of us. You can't pretend to be a nice person outwardly and be a monster behind closed doors without Him knowing because He is part of each of us. In here, in this virtual reality school, God/Satan is within. You can't spiritually bypass and make it to where you want to be. You can't activate Christ Consciousness unless you go through all the steps that lead you back to yourself, back to your center, back to balance, back to pure, unconditional love.


Christ Consciousness, awakening the Kundalini, activating the merkaba, etc. is developing a relationship with Him, with that part that dwells within. When we develop a relationship with ourselves, the journey is like building an advanced communication device and allows Him to be be a co-driver. It allows us to hear His guidance clearly. We become a partner and He can come through in our interactions with others and all we do.

I had a dream once where there was a child I was helping whose mother had abused him and sewn his lips closed. What I didn't understand then is that I was that mother who placed Him in a cage and sewed His lips closed. I took away His voice and didn't allow Him to speak when I stopped believing He exists.


This is why the idea that we need to believe in Santa to bring back Christmas Spirit is in our collective. When we die inside, we effectively cage Him and take away His voice. We take away His ability to help us and communicate with us.

This blog post was inspired by the following dream I had last night:
December 10, 2018 I dreamed of Glenn and his wife Jenny. I was at their house for some reason and interacting with their kids. Jenny was pregnant and due to give birth soon, but, for some unknown reason, I was given her belly with the baby. I was going overseas and the child would be born with me but I would bring him back to them eventually after he was born. I was nervous about this but agreed to it. There seemed to be movement and I started to peel the belly with the baby. It was like an apple skin I was peeling away to get to the baby. I could see his little feet moving and I considered how I would feed him.
I started to rouse and tried to process what I had just seen to try to understand the message. I had a knowing that this was about "Christ Consciousness" being born within me. My mind went to what this actually means. "Christ" or "Kristoff" being the central player whose mind we are inside within this virtual reality. He is the boy many of us see on a spiritual journey. Allowing His consciousness to be born within us gives Him a voice but also gives us a direct line to "God/Satan". It can only be born in someone who embraces both parts of Him. Rejecting the darkness is rejecting the feminine. The darkness would be more aptly referred to as "Lucy" or "Lilith"...a feminine figure.
In the Christian Bible in the book of Revelation we are introduced to the "Whore of Babylon" and the "Bride of Christ", but what people don't realize is that they are exactly the same person. One is before she is transformed by her apocalypse...her unveiling of knowledge about herself.
I am a 50 year old woman and I believe in Santa Claus...Saint Nicholas.


I believe in God/Satan.

I believe my journey has made me a suitable bride for Kristoff.

Maybe you see that consciousness as a beautiful glowing woman we can call Kristina. Maybe you see it as a dead musician or actor/actress. We each see God/Satan in the way we will be most receptive to that energy. The face the energy wears isn't what is important. What is important is the possibility of transformation if we follow the clues and guidance...no matter how crazy it seems. It is the energy that is the spark that becomes the fire that burns away all that no longer serves our highest good so that we can become the purest version of ourselves.


I often dream of popcorn and never really understood its meaning until this morning. I thought, "When one starts to pop, the rest aren't far behind." And that is exactly the way it will be with those of us on this journey. When one reaches that pinnacle, the rest won't be far behind.

Not all popcorn kernals pop. Whether or not you are one of those who makes it all the way and pops is entirely up to you and the choices you make. If you stay stuck in the lower mind which is closed, fearful, warring, and small, you will never get to experience the elation of popping and becoming all that you were meant to be...free and open.

Will you invite the Christmas Spirit into your heart and believe in Santa too?

Saturday, December 1, 2018

First Impressions, Exploring Keanu Reeves


Sometimes I'm an asshole.

I fully admit it.

On a hunch, deductive reasoning, and a series of signs and syncs, I felt compelled to explore Keanu Reeves as a potential clue on my journey. I reached out to my friend, Sky Phoenix, to ask about Keanu as he had known him back when River was alive. I asked my activist actress friend, Sofia Shinas, about him as well. From there, I started watching interviews...which is where I hit a snag.

I posted some thoughts and opinions on Instagram about what I found to be true in that moment and compared him to Laura Jane Grace to illustrate the differences I felt. The things I listed about Laura are basically the exact same things that I love about myself.


I ended up deciding this had to be a false lead and decided not to explore it further... that is, until I had a dream that basically said, "He is player blue you have been looking for."

Afterwards, I had my past life regression and it was there my higher self said Keanu is watching me and reading me. When I remembered that post, I promptly took it down and hoped he hadn't seen it. But when I went back and re-read an old dream, I was fairly certain he already had.

This is the dream in it's entirety:
December 21, 2014 
The first dream I remember I was working in a restaurant or something but it didn't feel like I was very into my job. I kept eyeing the cakes inside a case and thinking I wanted a cupcake...one with coconut frosting. I am walking around and there are customers sitting having their food. I have co-workers but I can't remember how many. This tall young male co-worker follows me outside and I hug him and he hugs me back. He says something like "is it okay to do it?" And I asked "Do what?" He said, "I am going to kiss you." I smiled. He was tall so I had to reach up. I kissed him and it felt real. I loved the feeling of being in his arms. There was so much comfort there. I started to wake during the kiss. I drifted back to sleep and I seemed to carry on in the dream.

I am still with this tall young guy and we are both really happy. He is attractive. There was something about seeing several young women lined up sitting on chairs. One black girl mentioned liking my guy and thinking they were going to be dating because she had gone out on a date with him but that was prior to him meeting me. Another one of the girls in the chairs seems like a diva and she is talking about how her guy is famous but she seems like an egotistical bitch. I see something on her face and it seems like piercings in the shape of a Christmas tree. The top starts at her third eye and the base ends on the bridge of her nose. I feel bad for the black girl but not bad enough to give up my guy because he and I are really into each other. At some point we are kissing again and I feel his erection and it turns me on but the next thing I know he has turned into a deer and then a donkey. I continued to kiss him. The stag deer entered me and I orgasmed.
I encountered my mom and I was telling her how we met. There was something about me having his penis which sounds weird but didn't seem weird at the time. He had left it with me. Lol and later we were traveling together. We ended up on a farm. It feels like it is my grandfather's house and they want us to mow. So I start the mower and mow but I think that there really isn't grass tall enough to mow. I didn't want to wreck the garden, so didn't mow in there. I seem to recall thinking it was food...alfalfa for the animals. And then I mow under something but the mower gets caught on something. I pull the mower out and something falls out. It is a donkey. I was horrified and looked to see how injured the donkey was. One of his front legs were injured but I was going to try to cover it up and bandage it up. The guy I was with helped me. We tried helping the donkey together. I thought he was going to be okay but was distressed that Grandpa wasn't going to be home for a few days. So I spoke to the woman who was house sitting. I think she was his girlfriend and I told her she should marry my grandfather since my grandmother out of the way. She giggled and said she would be willing if he would. I think it is important to note that my grandfather's name is Thomas. Again, the guy and I get close after taking care of the donkey and this time we have sex. I had another orgasm. What I liked best was just being with him. It felt so comforting and so right. I loved him and remember wanting to tell him so.

I didn't know the donkey was there and I didn't mean to hurt him, but I did.


Fast forward to now.

I continued to study Keanu, but didn't bother trying to watch anymore interviews on YouTube. Instead, I decided to study his body of work. I have recently requested many of his movies from the library to watch. I have also watched what was available on Amazon Prime . It has been interesting, to say the least.

I hated Destination Wedding. It wasn't just the acting (Keanu, deadpan; Winona, whiney and drunk?), but the style of the film. It was JUST the two actors who had lines. Maybe on stage it would have been less cringey, but on film it didn't translate well. We never met the brother or parents or anyone else that would have given the story another leg to stand on. Maybe it would have been more clear it was a comedy. I wasn't amused. Amusement usually comes from being able to relate to one of the characters and I related to neither.


I have this sense that Keanu doesn't have to choose to do a movie just for the paycheck. He chooses a movie because he is interested in the script and/or helping someone realize their dream of seeing a story become a moving picture. There have been hits and misses. Some of his movies that didn't do as well, I actually loved. Generation...Um and Siberia both have characters who clearly have a lot going on internally but don't express it easily.

With 47 Ronin and Man of Tai Chi, I had a sense he was using the movies as a means of exploring his Asian roots. I had a sense of someone who was trying to find his place in the world and where he belongs. A lot of us do explore our ancestoral roots who have a shakey family foundation. We skip the ones we have no connection with and explore the ones we know nothing about because we can imagine that maybe they were better people than the parent(s) we couldn't have a solid, healthy relationship with.


Man of Tai Chi, which Keanu directed, turned out to be a glorious unexpected treasure. Typically, I'm not an action/fight film kind of person, but Man of Tai Chi had a flowing story that was deeper than just having fight scenes. It also made me feel nostalgic and reminded me of all those late Sunday nights I was allowed to watch Kung Fu Theatre with horrible dubbing.

Tonight I watched A Scanner Darkly and The Watcher. I love Keanu as the bad guy. He does "dark" well. In The Bad Batch as The Dream, he was just wonderfully weird. In The Neon Demon, he was terrifying.

Like one of his past life selves (ask me if you are curious), Keanu studies people and he adopts little nuances for the characters he portrays. I too study people, but more to understand and learn rather than to mimic and borrow from them. I feel I have a learned a great deal about him through his work, through intuition, through dreams, and through some of the people he used to be in other lives.


At the beginning of my spiritual journey, I developed a meditation space in my head I would go to during meditation. I collected a number of photos I found in Google searches as inspiration. One of the things my meditation space had was a cave. You can't tell much about it on the outside, but when you ventured in, I would imagine a beautiful cave with a glowing amethyst ceiling. There was a body of water that was naturally warm and the bottom was covered in shimmering fire opal.


I have come to the conclusion that Keanu is like my magical cave...only the cave he is is bigger, more profound and more varied in what it offers. It is likely the most epic cave you will ever encounter that will change you completely once you have experienced it.


Any avid spelunker will tell you that part of the reason they go into caves is that the mystery draws them in. There is also a certain amount of risk and danger that is exciting. Darkness can be both frightening and beautiful. With a head lamp to light the way, you carefully step, navigating the boulders and scooting on your belly through narrow openings to discover what few have dared to see. Once fears are faced, deep inside, there are treasures to be found in various locations and none are alike.


This is exactly what I feel about Keanu. He is all of those things and more. Exploring him and discovering some of who he is has pleasantly surprised me. I have so much respect for ALL that he is, not just the sweet, kind and gentle parts.

So, after all of this gushing about someone I think is truly remarkable, would I call myself a fan? Definitely not. I would call myself a supportive and loving friend who would embrace him warmly and welcome him home to the part of him that lives in my heart should he choose that.

**About the photos**
None of the photos belong to me but were saved in 2013 as inspiration for my mental meditation space. If you own one of the photos, would like me to give you credit or remove it, please contact me and I will comply with your preferences.