|Titania by Tom Bagshaw - http://www.mostlywanted.com/|
Since starting my spiritual journey and trying to be a better me I have run into people saying, "I thought you were supposed to be all positive now" when I happen to have some emotional out burst that is deemed "negative". How about those well meaning people who tell you not to express your anger or sadness because it "lowers your vibration".
I am here to say FUCK THAT!
I can be both a spiritual person and authentic to what I am feeling in any given moment. If I am angry about something, I am going to express it. HOW I express it makes a difference. Someone who is spiritually minded is going to try to steer clear of blaming and try to understand why they feel anger and what they can learn from it. And most importantly, a spiritually minded person doesn't hold onto the anger. We feel it, express it, and let it go.
We all have our own truths and what we feel resonates with us. These are some of my beliefs and truths I live by. We are both light and dark, good and bad, feminine and masculine. We CHOSE to experience a physical life with these polarities in place. We watched others having their experiences and said "That looks like fun! I want on that ride too!" Before we came, we set this shit up to have some pretty difficult experiences. We chose to come here and FEEL loss and FEEL anger and FEEL suffocating sadness. I know it is hard to wrap your head around, but we chose the lives we are living and set up a lot of the major upsets that we experience.
We didn't come here to learn to feel happy and blissful all the time. If we wanted that experience, we would have not bothered incarnating into the physical at all....especially on one of the heaviest and most dense planets in existence. Only the spirits who want a real challenge incarnate here. Chris, at Curious Times (Blog Talk Radio host) thinks Earth is like kindergarten and I can see where she could think that as far as our evolution goes, but it is anything but kindergarten. As Story Waters says, it is the most difficult game around and only the people who are looking for a challenge come here trying to make it through the game. We get addicted to that game and keep coming back so we can try to beat the game (I don't believe in Karma). The goal of this game is to WAKE THE FUCK UP and REMEMBER....remember while we are in the physical who we really are so we can get off the self-induced hamster wheel we put ourselves on.
One of the biggest reasons we come here to Earth is to FEEL everything....every emotion, every touch, everything. We come here to experience. We didn't come here for the joyful moments alone. We came here for the contrast. We came here to feel pain. We came here to feel lonely and dissatisfied and disappointed. We came here to feel anger, jealously, confinement and so much more. We choose to feel these things so that we have a new appreciation for the bliss we always feel on the other side. We choose to experience horrific things to simply know what it feels like and to discover what we learn from those experiences.
So just because I am on a spiritual journey doesn't mean I am going to deny myself having a HUMAN experience while I am here. When you wake up, you understand how to live consciously and to consciously create your reality. You can break the cycle of doing what you think you HAVE to do and start doing what your really WANT to do. And just because you do what you love doesn't mean you are going to be happy and blissful 24/7. I think we need to allow ourselves to feel all the dense "lower vibrational" feelings at times as they come to us. As long as we aren't clinging to one emotion more than another, you should be fine. It is all about BALANCE. If you have a good balance of emotions and constructive ways to express yourself, your body will reflect that. If you are not balanced be it denying yourself the luxury of feeling anger or sadness, it will show up in your body as illness.
So when you see me and I am having an off day and I am uttering a stream of profanities, it doesn't make me less spiritual...it just makes me more balanced. I am choosing to be authentic and true to what I feel in any given moment. It may not always be glitter, flowers and unicorns and that is okay.