|Art by Albena Vatcheva|
As soon as I uttered those words, it dawned on me that that must be exactly what happened in here, in this virtual reality where we are playing a game called Life. Somehow, some way, the instructions were lost and people could no longer remember what to do and how to play, so they made it up on the fly and got lost along the way. The game of Life started to be more like the game of Aggravation where you try to knock people off the board to win rather than have fun and cooperate to meet your goals.
I also suspect that one of the players got the bright idea to insert a cheat code to give them unlimited lives, only it backfired and now we are on an endless loop of reincarnation. We live life after life after life with each one making it harder and harder to complete the game.
I will explain why.
There are layers to this particular game of VR Life, but the main one I will speak of in detail today is the one people call "Twin Flames". Not everyone is here for the Twin Flame game, but everyone has to follow some basic rules to participate to be here. In dreams, I am the creator of the Twin Flame game and my daughter thought it would be hilarious to tweak it to make it harder....right before she stepped in. You have a choice between the Tunnel of Love or the Tunnel of Certain Death.
|Art by Taychin Dunn|
I understand how some people will be resistant to the information I am about to share. This is for those of you with your minds wide open and wanting to genuinely grow. This is for those who feel so fucking tired and you just don't want to be here anymore or ever again.
My guides told me that Twin Flames are not two halves of a whole. That idea is completely erroneous. I can understand now why people would think that but it simply isn't accurate.
Previously I talked about 12 over souls being connected to 12 students that stepped in with their teacher. That may or may not still apply but what I am certain of is that we are inside one man's mind. He stepped in and connected with the machine. In the beginning God created everything and once this teacher set the stage, his students plugged into the virtual reality and started the game. It is repeated that "we are all one" but this isn't completely true. Absolutely, all the creations and characters were created by the mind of "God" so what we perceive as physical matter is part of him. What animates those vessels and fills them up are the students and the players who came here for adventure.
The first objective that we all must adhere to in order to complete is the Journey Back To Self. It is entirely possible to start a spiritual journey, get to a certain point and call yourself "enlightened" and think you have found yourself. I have met a lot of "enlightened" people who aren't even close to doing what needs to be done to find themselves and complete the game. They are like the people I found in the "deep inside" where the water was shallow and it was peaceful. In that same dream, the seeker said she had already been there and that isn't what she was needing now. She was trying to meet up with specific people in a specific location.
The "deep inside" is a great place to visit, but no one is meant to stay there.
You have to journey back out so that you are making the connections you are meant to make and gathering the other pieces of yourself.
|Art by Sophie Wilkins|
And THAT is the key. There are pieces of us everywhere. It is like we are playing musical bodies. The flaw with the idea of Twin Flames is it suggests only two parts exist. This is false. There are potentially as many pieces of us as there are people on the planet. Each person we come into contact with holds a piece of us and, depending upon each of our personal free will choices, we get those pieces back or give more of ourselves away. When we give them away, we scatter and divide more of ourselves. The more fractured we become, the harder it is to put ourselves back together.
Truth can be found everywhere and some of those truths are hidden in plain sight in nursery rhymes.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
I think Humpty Dumpty is the Teacher we call God and he is so fractured because we have lost the instructions on how to play the game. He is stuck in here while we try to remember what to do and how to play and he is with absolutely all of us, WITHIN each of us. So, God isn't out there. He is within you trying to guide you but so many aren't listening. They are too busy thinking the answers and guidance are in the hands of another. They are not. You and only you can figure out the direction you need to go to collect the pieces of you.
So how do you earn a piece of yourself back? How do you give them away?
|Art by Appam Raghavendra|
Everytime we come into contact with a person, no matter how random and brief it seems, we are faced with an opportunity to either get a piece back or give it away. How we interact with people matters. How we COMMUNICATE matters most because it is the biggest way we give pieces of ourselves away. Blaming gives our pieces away. "You made me feel this. You did this to me." Thinking you are always a victim scatters your pieces to the wind because you cannot step away to understand the lesson or the value of the experience you just had. "I am too nice. People always take advantage of me."
If you can have a so-called negative experience, step away, and interpret it like a dream, you can start to understand some of what the experience was trying to show you about yourself and then view it completely differently than you had previously. You can then choose different actions rather than being reactionary. When we put thought into each experience we have, we can earn back more of our parts and they come back to live with us.
Should you choose to be reactionary and not learn the lesson, that piece of you with them is passed off to another and it comes back to you again and again and again. And maybe during the interaction you gave more of your pieces to scatter and try to find their way back to you. Maybe you were angry and hostile which will not help you find you but only make you more fractured.
We call people mirrors, but in reality, each of them ARE us in a way. They are offering you a piece of you back if we choose wisely. Those pieces want to come home. They are desperate to go home, but will you make it possible for that to happen by growing, expanding and making better choices?
In order to get our pieces back, we have to actively seek connection and interactions with people. We have to stay open, be transparent and be really, really honest with ourselves and others. It will not do to hide away and claim you are an empath as your excuse for being withdrawn and antisocial. We are acting in the role of neurons in God's brain and a neuron is dead gray matter if it isn't connecting with other neurons.
It is my belief that most people who claim to be empaths are actually those who don't want to claim responsibility for their own feelings and their own shit, so they play it off as someone else's shit. So few people demonstrate actual empathy which requires imagining how you would feel in another person's position and act with compassion and kindness after you think about it.
We can't fake it either to get our pieces back because our Teacher is always watching. He is on board with us. Santa Claus really is watching us all the time. He will know how sincere we are and what our intentions are. Our communication and actions have to be sincere and fueled by the pure desire to be a better version of ourselves and learn something we didn't know before that experience.
|Art by Moksha Marquardt|
If you are eager to get your pieces of you back, think about what the experience is asking of you, because it could be many things.
COMMUNICATION that expresses our feelings in a kind and non-blaming way, even if it is boundaries you are being asked to set, you can do so in an assertive manner rather than aggressive manner. Own your issues. Own where you are lacking and need to grow without being hateful to yourself or others. We can improve with others while still being cruel to ourselves. So your communication with yourself needs to demonstrate kindness and compassion as well.
In dreams I kept getting Little Mermaid references and I now understand that is because she gave her voice away. They were showing me that the lessons are helping me find my voice again each time I express myself in a helpful and constructive way. I fuck up sometimes, but we have to try to swallow our pride and fix the error when and where we can.
Taking RESPONSIBILITY is HUGE!! So often we pass off a piece of ourselves to someone by saying "they did this to me" and not taking ownership of being the creators of our own experiences through our thoughts. We must pause and ask ourselves, "How did I attract this experience to me? What am I meant to learn?" By taking ownership, we are no longer blaming someone else for our issues. When we blame, we cheat ourselves, give away our power and a piece of ourselves.
Sometimes we are being asked to be more giving, more compassionate, more forgiving and maybe just let go.
LETTING GO is another big one. There is so much of ourselves we stand to gain by letting go in one way or another. We have to let go of fixed ideas about how we think things should be or will be. We have to let go of attachments to materialism and understand that the relationships and connections we make are the very thing that will propel us forward to completion. We have to let go of the perceived wrongs and see the experience from a different perspective to understand what we gained from it. Real forgiveness comes from understanding the value of it and the wisdom we gained. If we achieve that, we can find gratitude for the experience and avoid it coming back around again and again. Holding onto anger, hurt and grief will keep you from those parts of you that you long to rejoin with.
And when we don't retrieve the pieces of ourselves in a single lifetime, those pieces move on as baggage and what we call KARMA. We then have to deal with that other life to get those pieces back. It follows us to become a monster of sorts but really is just parts of ourselves that want to come home to us. They are waiting for us to take responsibility of them...not banish them because we fear what we have been. They long for our love, acceptance and understanding.
As a means of finding those pieces and parts, if we are in the Tunnel of Love aka Couple's Therapy 101 Journey, we are provided patterns and clues to follow to lead us eventually to our partners. The goal is for both of you to have found the majority of your own pieces before you meet again so that when you re-join, you will already possess the tools you need to have a successful loving relationship.
|Art by Albena Vatcheva|
What most people on this journey do not understand is that there could be multiple versions of your partner. The version you end up with is determined by where you are in collecting the pieces of yourself. How much personal growth have you made. You may think you have all your pieces in place, but wonder why you can't connect with someone you have been pointed to. A few things could be possible in this situation. Either you have grown past them already and they are no longer a match or you need to collect more of your parts to be a match.
And if you are determined not to give up and are willing to do the work, you will come back together in a more harmonious union than you have ever experienced previously. It will be everything you could have dreamed of and more because you both grew to the point of completion BEFORE you came together.
So....as you start to collect your pieces, you are going to want to know a few things that will show you a piece of you came back on board.
I dream about pieces moving in and out all the time. I see them as roommates. I kept getting country references too. Certain people have colors I associate with them. If you too are getting colors or specic country references, consider what I learned to be true for me. I finally understand that the color they show up as for me is the chakra areas where I have issues to deal with.
Here is an example. Deryck Whibley's (Sum 41) color is red and I would get references for Italy with him. They showed me recently that some of the people living in his apartment building (body) had been the ones to brutally beat Isa/Jesus on his way to crucifixion. Italy is the Romans. Red is the anger I, as Mary, felt and it represents the violence. Mary had to forgive the romans and let go of the wounds she experienced through witnessing what they did to her partner.
The Italian flag is red, white and green. Now what is left is Higher mind Issues, white, and green which is heart chakra. His green is my heart. He was holding a piece of my heart because he also has a tenant who was my son. My (Mary) biological son was the product of rape at the age of 12 and was taken against my will from me and given to a different family. I needed him to know I have always loved and wanted him even if he doesn't understand it, which I have done.
The white is the realizations and growth I made with him by trying to reach him. I gained SO many pieces of myself through that experience.
With Laura Jane Grace from Against Me! the primary color that shows up is yellow. I see yellow as being about support. It is the solar plexus and core part of us. I have tried to offer her my support as a means of retrieving pieces of me. And I don't do it simply to go through the motions, but because I genuinely FEEL it and want to be there for her. I genuinely love and care about her deeply.
And even though they didn't really reciprocate, I was able to gather up some of those pieces of myself and move on. I would welcome both into my life as a part of my family I love very dearly, but my journey isn't dependent on it. I have been pointed in a new direction, but there is absolutely nothing I can do but wait for him to reach out to me.
Not long ago I had several lessons come back to me in the form of a single person. I was taken back by it but dealt with it the best i could in the moment. That night I dreamed about two versions of me moving out and leaving.
The next day I talked to my father and he was telling me about 17 people in my home state having died. He also mentioned a 17 year old girl having gone for a jog and was murdered. Later I heard about the fires in Greece and something suddenly became really obvious to me. Those 17 people represent the parts of me that no longer serve me and left. 17 is significant to me because it is the date in the month I was born. The state he mentioned it happening is where I was born and grew up and learned some very unhealthy means of operating. Those aspects left.
Greece's colors are blue and white and I was being shown that I was on fire with my communication both about my feelings and spiritual matters. Those old aspects of me who couldn't communicate were being released and burned away.
So, when I understood the significance of these events, I laughed out loud and celebrated the symbolic acknowledgement that I had grown and expanded and no longer needed those parts. It was a symbol of coming together to be more of who I have always been but lost along the way.
If you can view this reality as a dream and then become lucid in it, you can see more of the messages that exist absolutely everywhere. We are being guided constantly but most are lost in the dream thinking it is all real. If you can fully understand, then you can see the symbols for what they really are...messages...even the ones that most perceive as tragic can be viewed as a reason to celebrate.
As we grow, as we release more of what doesn't serve us, we embody who we really are and remember. As we desire more of a connection with ourselves, we will be pushed to have more of a connection with others.
I will repeat, that we are also performing the role of neurons. Our survival depends upon working together and coming to a place of harmony. Our survival depends upon us pursuing what we love to do so we can create electrical currents and light up. Our survival depends upon us being open, transparent and communicating constructively. A brain whose neurons don't communicate is in chaos or a catatonic state.
What kind of neuron will you choose to be?
What thoughts and beliefs will you invite to create your reality?
Will you do whatever it takes to find all of who you truly are by doing the work?
Save yourself and you save the world.
|We can all be THIS happy when we finally claim our pieces and come together to embody who we really are.|