Sunday, July 27, 2014

Dreams, Oracles, Astral Projection, Lucid Dreaming

Naoto Hattori - Genetic Creator
I have always had lots of dreams.  The truth is, many of my early dreams I considered nightmares.  It got to the point where I just didn't want to sleep anymore because of where I would end up in my sleep.  Back then I had no idea what sleep paralysis was and it scared the shit out of me.  I didn't know what lucid dreaming was either.  Had I had someone to explain what some of this stuff was, perhaps I wouldn't have fought it and thought it so awful.  Let's get a few definitions out of the way for those who might come here and say, "Well what is lucid dreaming?  What is astral projection?  What is sleep paralysis?"

Sleep Paralysis : a complete temporary paralysis occurring in connection with sleep and especially upon waking

Lucid Dreaming
: a dream state in which one is conscious enough to recognize that one is in the dream state and which stays in one's memory

Astral Projection
: the act of separating the astral body (spirit or consciousness) from the physical body and its journey into the universe

:  a person (as a priestess of ancient Greece) through whom a deity is believed to speak
b :  a shrine in which a deity reveals hidden knowledge or the divine purpose through such a person
c :  an answer or decision given by an oracle
a :  a person giving wise or authoritative decisions or opinions
b :  an authoritative or wise expression or answer

I really became addicted to coffee back in my late teens when I was trying to sleep as little as possible because I didn't want to dream.  I feared sleep.  I stayed awake as much as possible.  I would wake inside of a dream.  I could hear everything that was happening in the room but I could do nothing to wake my body.  I would scream inside my head, "WAKE UP!!!" and yet I couldn't wake no matter how hard I tried.  At times people would say they heard me whimpering in my sleep and I told them if they hear that in the future to please wake me up because chances are good I am trying to wake up but can't.  Back then I was still very brainwashed in my rigid christian beliefs, so I actually believed that whatever was happening to me was sinister and evil.  Again, I wish I had someone to help me understand so that I could take advantage of that gift I was given instead of being afraid of it and trying to run from it.

Fast forward to now, I understand so much more.  I understand what lucid dreaming is and have actually tried to deliberately induce astral projection and lucid dreaming.  It doesn't come easily to me now like it used to when I was younger and trying to fight it.

Many nights I have lots of dreams.  A fourth of the time, they are just disjointed musings of my subconscious mind.  But the other three-fourths of the time they are VERY meaningful.  Those dreams I have tried to record in a journal.  Some of the meaningful dreams are prophetic.  Some of them are warnings like the time I dreamed of my younger brother rolling his car and dying.  I told him of my concerns for his well being.  His girlfriend at the time had a similar dream and also warned him.  I begged him to wear his seat belt at least for the next week as normally he refused to wear one.  Later that week he rolled his car and his life was spared because he took our warnings seriously and wore a seat belt.  Some of my other dreams tell me about my own future and are guidance. actually many times, I have visitations from spirits in my dreams giving me messages or just having a lovely interaction with me.  Last night was filled with dreams and messages and a lovely visitation from a certain being I have been missing dearly.  This time he appeared as a beautiful Asian man with long hair.  Thanks, Kenji, for that visual in your old photo. lol  It definitely wasn't you though because he had a different face and was a musician.  I could smell his hair and commented on how it smelled nice.  I could feel his touch and his lips on mine.  When you touch and smell or taste in dreams, it is a pretty good indicator that it is no ordinary dream...that you are, in fact, in the astral having a very real experience outside of the body.

You see, what many people don't understand is that when we sleep, the majority of us leave our bodies and go off to play.  What you think is "just a dream" could be an actual experience.  Sometimes those experiences are created to guide us.  Sometimes they are created just because we miss someone and we have sought each other out to spend time with each other while in the astral.  Some people do incredible work while their body sleeps.  Apparently I have visited other people's dreams but often have no memory of it.  Some people only hover just above their bodies and others take off on wonderful adventures.  I have managed to astral project on purpose, but I can't seem to maintain it for very long.  It feels like seconds.  I can get to that familiar vibratory state and then feel the lift of my spirit out of my body, but often my human thinking gets in the way and I get sucked back into my body and wake.

So next time you have a dream, ask yourself what meaning it has to you and your life.  Ask yourself if it was really "just a dream".  Chances are pretty good that it has significant meaning to you and huge clues and advice for your life.  Maybe consider starting a dream journal and looking back now and then to understand what the "dreams" might be trying to show you.  And if you come across someone who loves you and feels real...hug them close and enjoy the moment.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Confessions of a Lone Wolf and Social Introvert

"Social Introvert"  kind of seems like an oxymoron, but it describes me perfectly.  It makes sense given my Tropical astrological leanings.  I have a Libra Sun (social butterflies) and Cancer Rising (Introversion tendencies).  I am a walking contradiction and apparently I set it up that way before I came into this physical incarnation.  People who meet me and talk to me would assume that I am always really outgoing and socially inclined.  While I can function (sometimes) in social settings, what most people don't realize is many social settings makes me very uncomfortable.  Social media is an introvert's paradise.  We can be as social as we want to be without all of those bodies in our personal space. 

I LOVE people.  Really, I do.  And I HATE people. lol  I love to get to know people and hear about their personal stories of their lives....but out in the physical world, I like to keep my distance.  At parties, I am that person that picks a dark corner to watch everyone and cringe if someone tries to engage me in meaningless chitchat.  I'm great in one-on-one, in-person conversations.  I could probably even hang with a small group of good friends comfortably.  I feel extreme anxiety out at big concerts and any setting where people are TOO CLOSE to me.  It makes me want to crawl out of my skin.  My best friend begged me to go to Lollapalooza with her one year for her birthday.  The idea of this was SO distasteful to me.  Smashing Pumpkins and L7 were performing that year.  She had to beg me to go and I finally caved.  I was still a smoker then and used my cigarette as a means of keeping people at a distance and burning people who got in my personal space and tried to dance on top of me.  lol 

I am a conflicted being.  As a small child I wanted friends desperately and yet I always seemed to be the "outcast".  Because I liked to imagine I lived in a musical, I remember vividly singing little sad songs about how lonely I felt at recess on the playground.  And the friends I did have, I liked okay, but was often secretly relieved when I could play on my own after they went home.

I have never completely understood people who have a desire to have people around them 24/7 either.  I like time alone and if I don't get enough of it I get really grumpy and start lashing out.  I dated a guy briefly who I would spend physical time with and then he would leave, get home and call me.  I would say, "Why are you calling me?  You just left my house!"  He was one of those people who like people around all the time.  He couldn't understand how anxious and suffocated it made me feel to have him around so much.  I ended up finally telling him I couldn't see him anymore.  Our needs were so different and the more he tried to hold me close, the more repulsed I was by his very presence.  That ended with him telling me I was cold and unfeeling and me laughing while he did so, which pretty much just reinforced what he believed.  It isn't that I am cold and unfeeling.  I feel a lot, but we all express our needs and feelings in different ways.

I understand now that part of my aversion to large crowds of people has to do with being an empath.  I pick up the emotions and feelings of those around me even if I am not consciously aware of it and it is equivalent to over-stimulation for a toddler.  I become overwhelmed and have inner meltdowns and feeling the need to flee whatever over crowded scene I am in.  I know other empaths experience similar feelings in crowds.  The other part of my aversion is that I am very independent by nature.  I like my own company.  I like time alone with my thoughts.  I like time to ponder all the big questions of life.  I like time alone to write all that is at the core of my being.

I had really wild dreams a couple nights in a row.  This one seemed almost like it was from a future incarnation.  I can't completely explain what it is I felt but I remember waking up and saying that "The solar poles must be shifting because I am having some really vivid weird ass dreams...almost like a tv signal is being beamed into my head."  When I went online, I discovered I was correct.  The sun's poles had, indeed, flipped.  Here is that dream:

December 29, 2013 The dream was about two kids about 17-18years old. The boy was found living in a car with his chimpanzee companion. They took the chimp away because the chimp had become senile in his old age. The boy was upset because he had been with him his whole life and wanted to care for the chimp even though he was senile. He wasn't dangerous and wasn't violent.  Anyway, the boy was sent off to a reform school. The other character was a girl. She was a hard core gamer. She had 4 of her favorite games tattooed on her right arm and at times I saw through her eyes. The boy was sullen and withdrawn. At the school the kids were mean. The girl was tough and nothing phased her. She looked at him as a challenge and wanted to see if he would let her in, so she started talking to him. He easily attached to her because she was kind to him. The girl had been found living alone and of course gaming when they found her and they threw her into the reform school. She got in trouble a lot there because she wasn't going to live by any rules. Anyway, the two hit it off and right away the boy is talking marriage. The girl thinks it is cute that he is so taken with her and goes with it and they have a relationship but she knows that she is young and there was no way in hell she was going to spend her whole life with just one person. She already was thinking ahead to her life without him even though she knew it would crush him.
I could really see myself in the girl character....glaringly so. lol 

Enter the internet age.  Being able to socialize online has allowed me the opportunity to be a social butterfly without the anxiety of large physical social settings.  I engage in multiple conversations with people regularly.  Writing is easy and second nature for me, so composing my thoughts in written form is not a hardship.  It isn't really surprising that many of the people I have gravitated toward are also writers who feel more comfortable being social online than in person.  We crave in-person interactions, just not crowds of people settings.  It is a shame so many of my "online friends" are scattered all over the U.S. and other countries.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Kombucha and Dandelion Root Tea, I bet you didn't anticipate this would turn into a cooking blog too, huh? hahahaha  Well, even though I truly believe a healthy diet is very much a part of spiritual practice, I promise not to do many of these.   I felt it was the best way to show Kate Sitka that I already am a weirdo that digs up my dandelions to consume.  I make a point to ask Inara to blow the dandelion puffs as much as possible to grow a new harvest for the following year. lol
While I am no longer making my own kombucha right now, I would like to start again only try using a white tea that has less caffeine. 

Here are a series of pictures of the first komucha scoby I grew from a bottle of store bought kombucha.

Day 1
Day 4
Day 4.5
Day 5.5
Day 10

Left jar is finished kombucha and scoby.  The middle and right are a fresh batch I started.

Cultures For Health is where I found a good video to instruct me on how to make my own kombucha and scoby.

Now here is my dandelion root tea project.  Let me just say, I LOVE this type of tea and it is incredibly good for you.  Some of the benefits I have copy/pasted are listed here at this MindBodyGreen:
  1. It improves digestion and aids weight loss.
  2. It eases congestion of the liver.
  3. It helps to purify the bladder and kidneys.
  4. It reduces the risk of urinary tract infections.
  5. It contains calcium, magnesium, iron, zinc, potassium, vitamins B and C.
  6. It helps to purify the blood, regulate blood sugar and improves blood circulation.
  7. It helps to ease bloating and aching joints.
  8. It helps to cure skin conditions.

If you have a lawn that chemical fertilizers are not used on and you have abundant dandelions, you can go this this SITE to learn how to make your own dandelion root tea.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Love As The Key

Love As The Key

Another day is gone
Oh how time goes by so fast
I'm just one person
In this world small yet vast
So many seeking 
Searching for riches and treasure
So many are blinded
By the glimmer of material pleasure
Is it so easily forgotten
Where your heart's desire should be?
The real riches of life
Are obtained with love as the key

Written July 1, 1990
By Oktobre Taylor

Eternal Love

Eternal Love

The soft white snow falls
Like a blanket on the land
And it quickly melts away
When it floats into a hand

As I look out the picture window
I give a long deep sigh
Thoughts roll wildly through my mind
And silently I wonder why

Feelings that I can't explain
Surge through my entire soul
My essence is an abstract park
Where confusion takes a stroll

In a city where I've never been
A warm familiar face I see
His smile is bright and cheerful
I know that smile is for me

If only he could always 
Be there to brighten my day
Yet I know I'll have to go
Although I wish I could stay

A dream I've had for years
Is rooted deeply within
They say to get to the fruit
You have to go out on a limb

So that's what I am doing now
On a fine line, I'm taking a chance
I'm looking towards a blue sky
I hope he will join in my dance.

Written January 22, 1987
By Oktobre Taylor

Author's Notes:
  I have no recollection of writing this poem or who I could have been writing about.  lol  I guess he was pretty memorable.  Hahaha  Maybe I was channeling my future self for an event that has yet to take place.  That is my theory and I am sticking to it.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Music Phases

I am sure we all go through phases in what we like listening to.  Sometimes we go through phases of liking something a lot and listening to it frequently and then one day we just don't have interest anymore.  And then there are others that are just timeless and I will never tire of.  As part of my effort to purge my life of a good portion of my accumulated stuff, I am sorting through my CDs and deciding which to keep and which to take into Everyday Music.  The Jewel CDs I used to love now have to go.  My Sarah Brightman collection I am completely over and many others I won't bother to mention.  So long.  Thank you for your songs when they resonated at a specific point and time.  Time to move on.  My keepers...Billie Holiday and Jimmy Scott CDs are keepers...anything NIN is a keeper.  My Foo Fighter and Duran Duran CDs I am keeping.  Tricky made it to my keep pile.  Soundgarden, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Audioslave...keep.  My music taste is eclectic to say the least.  I ADORE my 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou' soundtrack.  The Crow movie soundtrack and score are also well loved.  One album I listened to last night that hadn't been played for a while was "The Bali Sessions"  It is so different and yet it really hit the spot last night.  There are three discs and at the end of the second one there is a chanting that sounds rather like this:

Here are some tracks from the CD:


The Sacred Spirit Volume 1 CD is the only thing I could stand listening to when I was in labor with Inara.  It is definitely a keeper.
Video Link

Current new favorites at the moment are Lana Del Rey and Sum 41.  Some Sum 41 fan will probably come along and GASP because I dared mention Sum 41 in the same sentence as Lana Del Rey .  Hahahaha  Deal with it.  She just does something to me.  I love her music.  Sum 41's Screaming Bloody Murder album I can't stop listening to.  I like the other albums, but there is just something about that one that keeps me going back to it.

What music are you currently listening to and what music did you used to love but are kind of over now?

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Being Different

September 17, 1992 Journal Entry

Unrest fills me as the longing to be away from here, far away, lingers on. I feel so misplaced and have since the day I was born. I've never fit in anywhere. Even as a small child I was different. I tried and tried to be like everyone else, yet nothing worked. I look like everyone else on the outside but my uniqueness always shows through as if I had red and blue plaid skin and purple hair. I often hear, "You're so strange" or "You're so weird." Sometimes I think I must be on the wrong planet. There are things I feel and think in which the words to express them don't exist. So can any ONE person ever come to truly understand me? I think not. All of this contributes to my sense of being utterly alone. Just a character builder, right? I've survived 24 years of loneliness and I'm sure I'll survive many more. I long for just one person whose arms, when wrapped around me, would be comforting. He's got to be out there somewhere. I wish I had answers to my many questions and the many "whys". There have been several storms recently. I adore storms. I love to watch the lightning streak across the sky. You have occasional single bolts but usually it looks like veins or fingers reaching across the heavens. It's so beautiful. Then...count to ten...a loud "boom" and the air is filled with rumbling thunder. The windows rattle while my chest vibrates. The wind blows, caressing my skin. The raindrops fall and I feel as if I'm being cleansed by heaven's tears. The power, the strength and energy of the storm fills me, rejuvenating my tired soul. Some people fear storms and run for shelter. I stand out in the open and embrace it, soaking up its healing powers; letting it course through my veins. I've never felt anything more comforting or exhilarating.

Author's notes: It is funny how some things never really change.  I know I have met a lot of people who feel this way as well.  I understand it better now and I now have a few "weirdo" online friends that I can let my weirdness shine with, which helps. 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

December 18, 1999 Dream Journal Entry

December 18, 1999 Dream Journal Entry

I had an odd dream last night.  I can't remember a lot of details but there was a guy and he showed up everywhere  I was.  I think he was in love with me or something like that.  I remember stairs....going up them to a room where I took a nap.  I went back down and there he was waiting for me.  He gave me a picture of himself and I told him I would keep it with me always.  I remember being flattered by his desire to be around me everywhere I was.  When I woke I was left with a feeling that the man in my dream was a spirit and that it was his way of coming through and telling me he was always with me.  I know it sounds really strange.  I just feel like there is "someone" with me.  I even felt like I should talk to him today but I didn't.  Little odd things have happened like a tapping noise on the wicker coffee table and my can of air freshener in my car sprayed for no reason at all.  Nothing was rubbing the can that should have made it spray.  I've been expecting the unexpected and unexplainable.  I feel like if odd things were to happen, I wouldn't be freaked out or scared at all.  So do I really have a male spirit with me?  I'm not sure but I have a feeling if there is, he wants me to know he is here.

October 1, 1995 Random Musing

"The Jester" Photo By Susanne Spiel
The challenge of coming to grips with who you are.
What does it take?
Is it as simple as falling in love with ones self?
To be comfortable in your own skin.
What does it take?
To embrace what you believe in could be key.
To be comfortable in the space around you.
What does it take?
Is it as simple as accepting your past without regret?
Sliding into a role as natural as breathing
Believing what and who you are really isn't so bad.
Knowing you are going to survive through tomorrow.
Trusting you are doing the best you can with circumstances at hand.
Each heartache and hardship only adds another thread to the great rope of strength I posses.

Written  October 1, 1995
By Oktobre Taylor

Where Have You Gone?


I stretch out my arms to the sky and cry to heaven.
"Where have you gone?"
Pieces of myself lost in the fabric of life, drifting without shape.
"Who are you now?"
Is this my destiny and will it come to a happy end?
"What is it you want?"
Darkness takes me into its great mouth and gnaws on my brain.
"Do you even stand a chance?"
I hold on with both hands to the twine made up of my strength.
"How long can you remain?"
Bruised, battered and heart full of so much pain.
"When will you return?"
They see my face yet not my soul and understand nothing.
"Don't you know I need you?"

Written September 13, 1995
By Oktobre Taylor

An Old Journal Entry

September 28, 1996
"Oktobre Winds of Change is my name" she said to the butterfly. And it glided past her unnoticed by the eyes of those around her. A crow as black as oil floated across the grey fall sky calling out to her, "Hear me, child, for we are always here watching over you...never far from the one we call our Queen." Her eyes wandered to the red, gold and green tree tops swaying in the breeze. She wished she could block out the sound of the cars passing by so she could hear what her heart was trying to say to her. "Give me strength, give me knowledge," was her silent prayer to heaven.