Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Ode To Coffee

Coffee...oh delicious brown nectar of the Gods.
Your scent tantalizes me and teases me like a sexy brown seductress belly dancing.
Your flavor, when coming from just the right background, can make my taste buds moan with delight and send a delicious warmth from my head to my toes.
Coffee, how I love thee.
But today I am breaking up with you.
No longer will I be your bitch.
No longer will I be a slave to your chemical goodness that helps me start my day.
Please don't tell me to go decaf because the difference is like replacing a warm hard cock with a dildo....it looks the same but it isn't at all the same. There is always that palpable sense that something is missing.
I know the gravity of my actions, dear coffee.
I know I will suffer a three day migraine.

I will longingly think of you every time I see my empty French press and grinder.
It's not you, it's me.
Today I give you up.


I was 4-years-old the first time I smelled coffee and asked my mom if I could have a cup.  Oh how lovely it smelled.  I used to sneak free cups of coffee in the grocery store.  I have gone through refinement in my taste and became somewhat of a coffee snob.  Not just any coffee will do.  The hours and hours I have spent in coffee houses writing my soul onto paper.  All of my friends buy me coffee cups or think of me when they see coffee. lol But I am at that point where if I miss one of my fixes, I get a really bad headache.  It is time to see if I am strong enough to stand on my own without my delicious crutch.  Wish me luck.