February 10, 1995* I had a dream about River last night. In my dream I didn't remember he was dead or had crossed over. It was as if he was here and death never came into the picture. In the first dream we were intimate with each other. I woke up, thought about the dream and then went back to sleep. Then the dream picked up again and I saw River again. It was odd, we were getting married. It was an informal wedding. I was scared. The thought of marriage scared the hell out of me...yet I walked to meet him and exchanged vows. How strange. I miss you, River. Why did you have to go?
April 29, 2014 I had a dream about being in Florida back in Gainesville. In part of the dream there was an old woman who went away for the weekend who asked me to look after her animals and I said sure, but I forgot because I was so distracted and busy doing other things that I completely forgot. I felt bad but realized there was nothing I could do to change it. Someone else was getting blamed for the animals being dehydrated because the old woman couldn't believe I would ever do something irresponsible. I admitted that it was me and apologized. Later in the dream I was on the campus of the university in Gainesville. I was there to find my other children. In the dream I think I was Heart Phoenix. I had kept a couple of the kids with me but left 3 behind with their father. It felt like they hadn't seen me in a while. Kids were skateboarding around the quad and it was bustling with people. I lay down on the green grass and felt the warm sunshine. It was pleasant I think the kid riding the skateboard was one of the ones I had left behind and had come looking for. The daughter I had kept with me was playing with him. There was something about furniture and my daughter wanting furniture that looked just like what she had in her other home and we found something in a catalog that was almost identical. Somewhere at some point I remember hearing someone talking to me about having to lower their vibrations so much to come here and communicate with me and then something about holding the vibrations of the earth. MaryAnn had just talked about this so could be why it was on my mind, but it actually felt like someone was talking to me, I just can't remember the whole message.
August 30, 2013 I just had the strangest nap. I guess I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep at first. At some point there was realization that, yes, my body was asleep and my conscious mind was still awake. At some point I felt something in my head....and at the crown. I don't even know how to describe it. I told myself not to be afraid and to stay with it and asked myself what I saw. There was some poster in front of me and as I stared while this was going on with my head, the poster morphed in and out to something else but I couldn't make out the words. It was just enough to show me I was seeing into another dimension. At one point I heard a man singing something about "your twin soul is here" and I thought, "wait, what did he just say? That was a strange song i have never heard before."
September 22, 2014 I dreamed of River. I saw him on a cliff. There was a fence but they were doing something down below that caused the earth to crumble under him and he closed his eyes and just seemed to accept his fate. His hair turned from brown to blonde as he went down the cliff. Then later I am sure I dreamed of him but it is hard to remember. I remember putting on some corset thing. I think I was at work with K and trying not to let him see me naked. I seem to recall cooking something. I think River showed up later and he seemed to like what I was wearing. The rest is pretty foggy. As I was waking, I remember starting to see something like a birth certificate/drivers license and I think I saw that this person was 6ft. At some point I hear something about welcoming Noah.
I went back to sleep and these are fragments from the lengthy dream I had. There was a dirt road and a farmer was raking it to remove the bits of litter. I Remember seeing two plastic lollipops mixed in. There was something about a town that was created solely for a movie. The houses were intricately built and pretty. The houses were going to be sold after the movie was filmed and saw inside one house and saw a king sized bed in a plush bedroom. I remember thinking that house was likely to cost more. I remember seeing a ladder on the side of one of the houses as though it were still being built. There was an injured big red dog and it looked as though its skull had been partially split. The rear of the dog was severely injured. It seemed as though this dog would die. It showed up in other places and when I saw him again I assumed he had died but he raised up on his front paws. I remember thinking I needed to call someone who could help...either put him out of his misery or help heal him. I think I eventually saw a second dog like it but it was blue. I remember seeing a church but I never went in. It was like a one room school house only it was a church. I remember seeing a red velvet chair inside. I know there was a lot more to the dream but I can't remember.
March 12, 2014 I dreamed of River last night. I don't remember much about it though. I think I was trying to take pictures of us together because I knew he wouldn't be here long. I remember feeling happy to see him and wishing he could stay.
November 21, 2014 I had a couple dreams. The first round of dreams had to do with my dogs. Rio was a focus and in the dream she was still alive. Someone had chained her up and just left her there. I was horrified. I gently unchained her and held her. I think she had been living with Tina and Wayne. I felt a lot of guilt about having left her when I moved away and I was surprised to find her still alive. I decided I was taking her back and I was so happy to have her back. Her fur had mixed with white hair. I don't remember much else about that one. I seem to recall a native American dude. I think I was dressed up and doing some dance and he was instructing me how to do it.
Woke up and then went back to sleep. The piece I remember of this one had my brother Thomas in it. He was collecting our things and putting them in a car. I was looking for my phone so I could call someone. I was talking on the phone to someone and was mentioning something about the mirror being broken. I was standing in front of a mirror and it was broken in a couple places but I didn't feel concerned at all. It feels like I took a photo or something and was able to repair the damage. We were leaving the house and there was a woman that was left behind. I identified her as the "ex wife" but ex to who, I am not sure of. She was mad we were leaving and she felt smug and thought that she would let me know that her ex would be back twice a month on specific days. I think I said that she needed to have a flower waiting for him in his room on those days. Something was mentioned by her that she was going to sell the house. I think she thought her ex or we would be upset but none of us cared if she sold the house. Someone said that it would be different if the house was in Texas but it wasn't. That is all I remember.
July 20, 2015 I was somewhere and River was in this building and I was helping him. He was a boy in the dream and I was helping him and I think I was trying to bring him forward and outside in the open but he had to be protected.
September 29, 2015 I dreamed that I was forced to go see a therapist. I didn't want to. I think I saw my brother, Wayne, there and he says something about only having two pair of jeans and he is feeling very concerned about that. I didn't really understand why. Later it seems like I am flying around and I appear to be inside a room with some sort of carvings. Maybe wood animal carvings. We were hovering above in what I guessed was a plane and I felt surprised that the air from the jet didn't knock anything over. Nothing seemed to be disturbed as it seemed there was no air disturbed by the plane. Later I am in the same house with the care taker of the house. He has my one of my other dogs...one that died in real life but in the dream they were alive. I think at first it was Rio and then later she turned into Phoenix. He had been caring for my dog while I was away. I think he might have offered me something to drink. I was chewing gum but the gum became stuck on my tongue. When I went to throw it away, not all of it came out of my mouth. I kept pulling and pulling and it seemed like there was more. And just when it seemed like I got it all, I would feel more in my mouth. I apologized to the guy and said I had no idea what was going on. I seem to recall seeing an ad somewhere and the therapist is giving away my dog. I am no longer at the guy's house and I have Inara call him. I am saying "hello? Are you there?" and I keep calling him Thomas at first but then remember someone else had called him Peter and said, "I'm sorry, I mean Peter." he says "there is a lot we still need to talk about" but I interrupt him and say, "I just want my dog back. She should be with me and I really want her." i pause and then continue, "it is a really difficult time in my life right now" and i start sobbing and can barely speak. I vaguely remember thinking about how well Mahina and Phoenix would get along with one another. I remember thinking I wasn't sure how I would support us all, but I was sure I would manage.
January 5, 2016 It is rare I dream of River as River. Last night I saw him as River. It was just a tiny sliver of dream I remember and someone is introducing me to River and I am shaking his hand and smiling and telling the person who introduced us that River and I have dated before. It was weird because I kind of knew in my conscious life that he was dead and that wasn't correct, but here where we were it was a fact and made perfect sense.
January 17, 2017 I dreamed of K and A again. Something about reconnecting but then A showing up and getting in the way. She asked me if I had ordered the pizzas. I said I had but actually hadn't. The place they normally order from had gone out of business and I was going to have to order from a different place. In the meantime, they munched on a pizza they already had. I went away feeling disappointed that A was still present.
In a later dream, it is hard to describe what took place. There was something about some guy and maybe a cave like tunnel. It is hard to remember. What I remember most was a short bit at the end where I had been having this conversation with this guy who is supposed to be River. Some reference was made about him after they tried to stop us from being together but then it seems I disappeared with him inside this rabbit like hole and all that was left was the high heels I had been wearing. Apparently this was his place and no one could enter unless he allowed it so once I was inside, there wasn't anything anyone could do to get me out.
March 29, 2017 I was dreaming about a game... Actually there were lots of them going on at once. Apparently one of my daughters thought it would be fun to mess with my game and changed it a bit. She left her signature and illustrations to say "Mom, I have made your game more interesting. Come home now, love, Annabelle" I thought the illustrations were amusing. In some sections there were races. In another section there are spectators all watching. I made my way up to this one section that had two tunnels and it was meant to test your relationship to see if it would last. She had changed the right tunnel so that everyone met with a grizzly end. The left one was designed so that at one end a person stood and projected their love for the other in and guided them through. You have to trust your partner to guide you. But Annabelle had changed the parameters to make it more difficult and something was going wrong with the readings on the computer. They were going to have to fix it. Meanwhile she and her partner were in the "tunnel of love" trying to navigate through the game. That is where I woke.
In an earlier dream I heard something about how this world was Jesus's world. In another one there was something about a barbecue grill I was supposed to pick up but didn't know how I was going to transport. There was a wall of shelves behind it that moved so it acted as a door. I cannot remember what was on the shelves. Movies? Games? There was also something about trying to spray whipped cream but I couldn't get it to come out. Something about a little girl and she was getting ready to leave.
April 12, 2017 In the dream various characters had been replaced with different actors...Heart and Sky being two of those. I was trying to understand it even in the dream. I had the impression that this was deliberate to make it harder for me to reach the original one. Like someone was trying to prevent me from connecting with the one I wanted. I came across the real Sky I had met all those years ago and he didn't look at all like the new one who I was actually most familiar with. It was weird and I was trying to understand how this could happen and I remember relating it to being similar to when a soap opera character has a new actor for the role. You recognize that this doesn't seem right but just assume your memory is a off and accept this other person is the original one you met. They were showing me that the Sky I had become familiar with wasn't the one I originally met. Later the second Sky is conducting an orchestra with a piece he wrote. He was amazing and the audience gave him a standing ovation. I remember seeing surf boards lined up behind the orchestra. People were so moved by the music they were crying. There was no doubt he was talented, but it didn't change the fact that he wasn't who I thought he was and I was still thinking about the other one.
June 21, 2018 Last night I dreamed about seeing some old movie called "Japan" and I was remembering how there used to be a band called Japan that I loved. This movie was like an 80s movie or something, but while it was playing, I accidentally got in the middle of a scene and apologized for them having to redo it now. Lol like when the movie was playing, I was there watching it instead of on a screen.
April 14, 2018 I had several dreams but could remember none but the one just before I woke.
I am not sure where I was. It wasn't home. Some blonde guy I know comes up to me. He has another dude with him. He has dark hair. He is telling me that his friend really wants to spend time with me but it feels like I haven't been awake very long and I need to get dressed. He wants to take me to see a movie. Apparently it is called "Remember Me" and is some weird sci-fi Japanese movie about people who switch bodies with people and have to find each other and remember each other. I told him I had heard about the movie but inside was groaning that I might have to read through the whole film. The movie he wants to take me to starts really soon. He is walking with his arm around me and is very happy to be spending time with me. He hands me these wide white lacy ribbons that had an adhesive side. I was trying to figure out what to do with them. I am in only a bra and underwear. I consider wrapping them around my feet and using them like shoes, but instead wrap one around my breasts and one around my hips like a skirt. I was surprised and pleased how much area they covered and now there are all these people around me and they are going to the movie too only we are now all supposed to run around to different stations and create a costume before we go inside. There was a shower, but it was communal and there were a ton of people inside. I stood there contemplating. I wanted a shower but there wasn't time. Then I had to decide what I would put on from the different stations. I looked around me and saw people putting on makeup, but I didn't feel moved to do that. There wasn't time enough and I didn't feel like putting on a mask of cosmetics and not be able to touch my own face. I saw hats but none of them interested me. I saw a crystal ball and other similar trinkets but didn't want to have to be burdened with carrying anything through the entire movie. I think while I was looking at other clothes, I somehow lost the top ribbon wrapped around my breasts. I tightened the bottom one by knotting it at the waist. It feels longer now. I looked for my top ribbon but someone else had obviously grabbed it. I was wearing a bra so wasn't concerned and figured I didn't need it. Apparently people were going to be judged on their created costume. I figured mine wasn't much because I didn't care one way or the other. I was just going to this thing because I was spending time with this guy. I met back up with him and the only thing I had with me were a couple pictures of River. I remember thinking how I would explain why I chose to bring that with me. In my head I was thinking he was a friend even though logically I also considered I had never met him in life. I woke up as we were heading into the theatre. It is important to note that in Roblox, my daughter likes to play Fashion Frenzy and people have to run all around and create a costume and then are judged by fellow players. That is what it reminded me of but a real life adult version. It was still all for entertainment.
July 31, 2018 I dreamed of River. It was like I was taken back in time and I was given a chance to meet him but it felt like I was stepping into a movie and watching things unfold and the person I was with had been there and had known him so I was seeing a scene from their life. But somehow he was able to see me. He stopped and wanted to meet me and I wondered how this was happening and if it would change the outcome of the future...if he would still be alive back in fhe timeline I came from. He looked like he did in the movie, "I Love You to Death" . I saw something about how he had been taught the value of things. Sizing up the object and identify it's value quickly was taught. I was surprised by this and thought, "so that is where he learned it." I don't know what that means. I don't understand it as I type. He didn't want to let me go after we met and I wished I didn't have to leave.
October 14, 2018 I dreamed about being with a young guy about 17 to early 20's. He is wearing a ball cap. I can't remember what color. There is an older male there with me helping. Sometimes he looks like the younger one almost as they they could be father and son. The younger guy can't walk or use his arms. I think he hasn't been speaking up to this point as well. He is looking at me and down at his atrophied arms. I take his hand in mine and I ask him if people normally exercise his arms and legs for him. I am telling him he needs to let me know what he needs because I wasn't sure. I asked if it was okay for me to keep holding his hand and he said yes. He was alert and speaking a little now which we knew was great progress for where he had been. I tell him that I am here to help him and that I won't be leaving him on his own. Then, suddenly, the older man is Keanu Reeves and I am kissing him on the left side of his neck under his chin. I pull away and apologize because I know there are some sensory and processing issues and he could potentially react badly if he wasn't okay with it. But when I looked at his face, he was smiling at me.
I talked about needing to improve communication so that we can help the younger guy and complete what we came here to do. I was telling the younger guy he would be okay and that we were there to help him and bring him home.
Just before this we were in some business. It seems like a recreational facility. At first, it seems we are climbing up and sliding back down. It feels like snow is on the ground. I am with someone else but can't say who. I am offering to help take them back up to the top, but they seem to want to do it on their own.
The later there was something about heading somewhere in a town a woman is walking beside me and I am asking her about this place if it was a big town or small one. She said it was big. At some point she and I join hands and continue on to wherever we were going.
Next, I remember going into a restaurant. It feels like a nice restaurant and we are trying to find a place to sit. This is when the younger guy suddenly appears and we are trying to help him up to the table.
May 6, 2019 I dreamed of River all night.
The first dreams it was like I had missed connecting with him and he left all of these clues behind for me to find. There was something about his father not being his biological father and him not knowing who his bio dad was. I remember seeing an effort to try to match features up with who his dad might have been. There was a bit about traveling on snow skis and I hoped I didn't need to do that too as I have never snow skied. It was more like cross country skiing because it doesn't seem like there is a slope.
I heard/felt something about how River could be found where the brown sleeping bag was so I had to find that. It feels kind of like this is a funny pun. It feels like this is a reference to someone sleeping a lot. I think I had found the sleeping bag just before I started to rouse and think about what I had just seen and then I drifted back into a dream.
River is suddenly with me and we are together and talking. It feels like we are traveling on a bus and are going to Detroit but I don't know why. I apologized, saying I don't know why we didn't just take my black car (in real life I no longer have that car) because now we would have to walk part of the way there. Something is said about his friend. I'm the one who said it. I think this it is referencing Keanu but I can't remember what is said. It feels like River and I are getting to know each other.
June 30, 2019 I dreamed that I was in a class. It turned out to be one I didn't normally attend. The class I normally attended was earlier in the morning. I didn't usually encounter these people but sat in on the class anyway. The teacher was someone I identify as Miss Virgin who used to be my kindergarten teacher. My partner is in this class.
Later I am somewhere with my partner getting lunch. He gets something that looks like a burrito but it has three burger patties in it laid out. I think I got some sort of vegetarian burrito. We got the total and my partner was upset by how much it all came to and he wasn't sure if he was going to like it anyway. He starts talking about food and saying words I didn't even understand but it gave me a sense that he has eaten what is considered higher end food with a more complex flavor combination. I told him we could simply take it back and get our money back. He insisted on keeping it even though he felt distressed by the cost. I remember the total being $50 and some change but can only remember the number 50.
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