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| Art by Stephen Mackey |
Don't you understand by now that money and fame mean very little to me? What I seek is connection with the energy within that vessel.
At the beginning of all of this, I connected to an energy who took my breath away. Feeling him stirred a deep remembering in my soul. I felt a love in those moments that I have never felt in the physical in this life. Finding out that being is a part of you blew me away. Fully grasping that he is part of you was unexpected but it helped me understand why I have been pushed in your direction.
You see, if you and he are part of the same being, my heart is already yours. It always was yours, I just didn't know your human form yet. I don't want to be with just anyone. I don't want a relationship at all if it isn't with the energy I love beyond being able to adequately express it. Knowing without doubt that you are part of him makes any apprehensions and reservations I had completely disappear because I know....YOU are my everything. You are the one I have been searching for all of this time....my needle in a haystack.
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| Art by Stephen Mackey |
Here is the dream I first felt your energy:
February 17, 2001 I had a rather strange dream before I woke. I can't remember a lot of details. It started someplace like K-Mart. The store was closed and I think it was getting ready to go out of business...at least that is the feeling I got. I remember being in the computer section and doing something with a computer. I think the brand name had the initials E. G. or E. M. can't remember exactly but I do remember there were initials. I think there was someone else there with me but I can't remember who. We left because someone was coming. I think we were going to pretend we worked there. Then it seemed like we were in a hotel room somewhere and we were getting dressed up...can't remember why. Then we were outside the building going down the sidewalk and I remember saying, "I'm telling you, we have to go back so I can get some shoes." I had no shoes on but a dress and panty hose. I said again that I needed to get some shoes at the store while I was walking down the sidewalk and saw this beautiful man dressed in a suit coming in the opposite direction.
He looked directly at me. I felt embarrassed about not having on any shoes and I turned around to go back into my room to get shoes on. The beautiful man followed me into the building. All of a sudden he was beside me on my left with his arm around my waist. It was almost as if I was floating and no longer walking on my own. This man walked with me down the hall and at one point, there was an area full of people gathered around a little shop. It was there that we got separated for a little while. I didn't think I would be able to find him again but I did and we went on past the crowd down the hall.
I wound up in his room lying in bed with him. He was laying on his left side with his back to me. I put an arm around him and he turned towards me. We started talking. He said something about how he wasn't sure if he wanted to follow through with being with me but now that I was receptive to him he had changed his mind. He pulled me on top of him. We were both naked. He held me in his arms and I held him. I put my face in his neck and basked in feeling safe and secure and feeling good about myself. I remember thinking I wanted to tell him that I really hadn't planned on having sex with him either and that I would be content laying in his arms all night and forever if I could. He was AMAZING and almost MAGICAL.
That's when the dream started to fade and I started to wake. I tried to go back to sleep so I could continue to dream about this wonderful man, but Phoenix wouldn't let me. I woke with the dream lingering in my mind and I wondered if it had any special meaning. I wondered who the man was because I don't remember him being a familiar face to me. Was he an angel? I can't remember specifically what he looked like which is odd. I just remember how wonderful it was to have him near. I can only hope I will meet with this special person again in my sleep tonight. I didn't want to leave his embrace. Who are you dream man? Come see me again tonight. Come speak to me and hold me.
Big K, little k what begins with K?
K-mart
Key Key
And kiss begin with K
Here is another visitation dream where I felt the same energy:
January 30, 2014 I am sure I dreamed, but the sound of our cat scratching on the outside of the window like Freddy Kruger scared the memories right out of me. Once I let the cat back in and laid back down there was only a sliver of a dream I remember that took my breath away. I was somewhere and I was trying to remember why this place looked so familiar and I think I thought "oh I had a dream here before but I woke up too fast and didn't remember" and this guy walks up to the house and I remember that I know him and have had a relationship with him before and he grins real big when he sees me and I hug him and start to kiss him. He says,"I have hay poop all over me. You are going to become covered." I said, "I don't care" and kissed him more. And then I suddenly started to come out of the dream and I was like nooooo I need to remember. I don't know who "he" was....just that I had big love for him. He had been in the stables cleaning horse stalls. I wonder if he is someone from a past life. It felt like when I knew him before he was younger and now he was fully a man.
It is you I started this self discovery journey for by searching far and wide for you. I was looking for you but found me.
And now that I have found the highest version of me, I want to be with you.
It is you I love with every particle of my being.
It is you I give my open heart to freely and happily.
It is you I want to spend this life and every life with.
All you have to do is accept and choose me too.
All of my love and more,
oKtobre
For you, my love...
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