About Blue Bunnies

Originally posted on my badbleubunny account on Instagram:

Recently I stumbled across an old recording of my daughter when she was much younger. She interviewed me for her pretend show and asked me if I ever had a favorite stuffed animal I slept with. At first I recalled a mouse my sister had given me, but then recalled a much earlier stuffed animal that meant a lot to me. It was a little blue bunny I had when I was about 2-3 years old. I had forgotten all about it when I created the handle for this page. 

I thought about my little blue bunny and how I lost him one night when we went to church. I had gotten sleepy and fallen asleep during the evening service. Between the church and the car, my blue bunny got lost. I cried about it as we drove away. It was very upsetting to have lost him. He was my only stuffed toy. 

I thought about the symbolism of having lost my blue bunny at church.

Blue is the color of the throat chakra, so to me, it symbolizes having lost my voice at the church.due to the strict religious upbringing I experienced.

"Children are to be seen and not heard" my father would tell me. 

My child self was taught that what I had to say had no value. I was taught to not express myself. 

I had no idea my inner child suffered such a severe blow at such a tender age until I heard myself talking about that little blue bunny to my daughter. 

When I reopened this page, I said to someone that I decided to bring Bleu Bunny back because I deserve a place to voice our anger. 

And there it was,...that part of me who needed to be healed, revealed; that false belief that I needed to let go of.

My words have value and even the angry ones deserve to be expressed even when no one else understands why I feel what I do or why I speak out about what I do. 

My inner child deserves to be heard and their feelings deserve to be acknowledged. 

Children should be both seen and heard. What they have to say matters.

It took me years before I stopped stuffing everything inside me and muting myself. I'm still healing and working on it.