Dream: Choosing to Assist

Art by Kinuko Y. Craft

Dream Journal Entry: January 30, 2021

I had the most amazing dream that felt like a movie in its arrangement. I will try to remember as much as I can.

I dreamed I was staying/living in this apartment. It was quite dark out. It felt like nighttime. I noticed some kids had taken a hair styling doll head that belonged to me out to the community playground and left it there. I was a little annoyed by this and went to retrieve it.

I remember some couple had turned the heat to my apartment down. I was annoyed by this because it was my apartment and told them to not do that again...that I had it at a comfortable temperature and want it left that way. 

An older woman showed up outside my house in sort of an exhausted crumpled pile. I want to say it was Kay, but I can no longer remember anymore. It was the middle of the night and I invited her in and offered for her to stay until morning when she had energy enough to get to where she was going. I told her she could share my bed even though it was just a broken down mattress on the floor.

There was something about finding some small bones. I can't remember if I found them at the playground or just outside my house. I examined the bones and it looked to be from a child and the skull looked like some violence had happened to it . I noticed that the eyes had a calcification over it and guessed that the child had been blind when they were alive. 

I was in my apartment when I was examining the bones and something strange happened. The wall to my place seemed to disappear and it felt like I was looking into the past at a scene when the child was alive. I saw him as a boy deformed and sitting in a wheelchair. He and his mother were present and it was obvious they were poor and she struggled to care for them both. I knew some would have been scared by what was occurring and would have run away, but I stepped through the wall into the scene and touched the child to see if I could assist in some way. Somehow my actions changed the past entirely and now the boy is fully healed. He is no longer in a wheelchair and he could see perfectly. I held him lovingly against me and felt his head which was mostly shaved. I could feel the slight prickles of new growth. The boy looked up at me and I heard "This is your future husband." I remember seeing something about freckles forming on his face and noticing the profile of his nose and how it has a slight curve and hook like an eagle. 

I looked at the mother and she looks completely different now. She looks like she is doing well and is able to take good care of her son and there was none of the former struggles present anymore. I was amazed how this was possible and how something I had done had changed the past so that not only had he survived to be part of my current timeline, but the previous trauma had been erased and he experienced something different entirely. 

I think I saw the boy as a man briefly and remember him being very tall next to me.

I also remember seeing Dave Grohl in various scenes but can no longer remember specifically the speaking parts he had. I don't remember it being particularly profound or important, it just felt like a bit scene and he said funny things. I think I talked to him a little bit but can no longer remember the actual conversation. 

I saw some tiny little fairy man with a white beard and a metallic silver nose that resembled a watering can. He was laying as though dead. Someone else was holding snow that was melting and I had some knowing that he needed some of the melting snow and asked her to hold it near him but she didn't. So I collected water and placed it near the metallic nose and he took it inside of himself and I started to see a more vibrant blue be restored and he started to show signs of life. 

After I helped all the people I helped, I saw myself growing succulents on my face. I have no idea what that means

I think Dave had an additional scene and then I saw movie credits and it was as though everything I just saw and experienced had been part of a movie. I was disappointed it had come to a completion so soon but noticed that the end credits seemed to be showing all kinds of different potentialities of future scenes.

I woke up there with that dream and laid and thought a lot about it.

Art by Alyn Spiller

The next dreams all had to do with this boy who was now a man. I was with him at his place of work and he is being intimate with me. He is kissing me gently and I am noticing how pleasant the kissing is and thinking how long it has been since I kissed someone who kissed well. I remember him being very tall and fit. I was a little concerned about him getting in trouble because of being intimate with me. I can't remember the kind of work or establishment it was. I remember touching him and feeling his penis and then looking over seeing a table full of boys dressed in blue football jerseys peaking. I laughed and said maybe we should try to refrain because of the kids. And the guy said, "Maybe we should invite them to our wedding." I had this sense of things moving very swiftly between us but there was no fear or uncertainties for either of us. I remember us laying together on a table just enjoying being close and touching. I don't remember actual intercourse at that point. 

Oh yeah, I just remembered a bit about how his hair was long and curly like mine only darker and I thought it was beautiful. I told him how much l loved it and when he pulled it back it reminded me of michael hutchence's hair. But then later I was cutting it and trimming his hair and I said, "I'm surprised you trust me enough to do this."

Other dreams all had to do with this guy who had been the boy but was now a healthy adult and us coming together into union. 

Art by Helena Nelson-Reed

February 2, 2021 

Something I was hearing today is, "If two people both want the same thing and are imagining it, it will make it happen faster." I considered maybe he has been imagining it but I haven't and I'm the reason there has been a delay because I refuse to see it and imagine it. 

I've tried cutting energetic ties using every means possible and still I dream of him, night after night. Maybe the only thing left to do is actually imagine us being together and allow him fully inside and just surrender to the love I still feel.