Death is an Old Friend, Ladyboys Dreams

there is no need to be upset by Piotr Janusz

February 17, 2021

I dreamed about Kurt Cobain all night. I can't remember a lot but do remember being in a forest. Sometimes it feels like he is dead and yet it feels like he is still with me in spirit. It feels like I am trying to learn something about him and there are some people who want to prevent it. I come up to an area and I see a being I identify as "Death" and I am saying that I'm not concerned if he sees me. I said, "Death is an old friend. He never ever sleeps." But I do make an effort to not upset him as I pass by. 

it is preferable not to travel with a dead man by Piotr Janusz

It feels like I am trying to make my way somewhere and now it feels like I have come upon Kurt's house and it seems like an odd juxtaposition because sometimes we are talking about Kurt as having died and at other times he is present as a child. 

There is something odd about how we are seeing him as a young boy before the babysitter touched him inappropriately and gave him a STD that he had to live with his entire life. 

I interact with the boy version but then also engage with the family about the now dead one.

Courtney Love is there and I am wondering why she is there socializing with the family. I considered they didn't know yet she was connected to his death. 

There was something about a chair I was sitting on. Apparently it was one of the more comfortable ones and some woman wanted my seat. I think I got up and allowed her to have it but sat in the big recliner (ladyboy/lazyboy). Someone saw me sitting in the recliner and thought Kurt, the grown up version and not dead one, would be upset to see me sitting in his chair. I said I wasn't going to sit there long so it shouldn't be a problem. I then got up and went outside. I had been holding this mossy branch that had a cluster of mushrooms (fun guys?) on it and I took it to a certain location to shake it off for some reason I can no longer remember. His family who had been inside had followed me out to see what I was doing. 

Now I seem to be standing next to some outdoor counter like area. I am leaning against it with my arm propped on it. I notice a space behind the raised counter and noticed some empty dirty shot glasses that had been shoved out of sight. I considered that this was signs of some former party Kurt had had and the maid who cleaned up had missed them in her cleaning. I'm pulling shot glass after shot glass out and someone, Kurt, I think, said they would have to talk to the maid about taking care of it. I started to wake there.

shaman by Piotr Janusz

February 18, 2021 

I dreamed something about being in a ladyboy (autocorrected from lazyboy*) recliner. Some guy had laid back on top of me. I saw Brandon Lee and he could still see me and was smiling at me from across the room and waving.

Later I dreamed about doing a lot of moving. In one dream I was leaving Oregon and I was sad about it.

It shifted from moving to fleeing, it seemed. Lots of people were crammed onto these airplanes which is where I got separated from my partner. I couldn't say who he was, just that I didn't want to be separated from him but we were both on the same plane, so I thought we could find each other again later.

When the plane landed, we got herded into the direction of waiting vehicles and I got in the back of a truck with a refrigerator being transported. (Refrigerators show up in dreams because they run.) People are saying that all of these people are being taken to New York (the big apple = heart chakra) to a work camp and it is hard there. It made me nervous so I got out of the truck and determine I will stay here in Chicago. 

The scene shifts and somehow I find my partner here and he has been waiting for me and had never intended to move all the way to New York. He has a place already set up. There seems to be other people here too. 

I'm hearing words come from a device and I am writing them down. Suddenly, several words are coming in quickly and I am trying to remember them all to write them down. The message was coming through too quickly to write down and what is being said is that I have been communicating with aliens through this device all along. I start to freak out a little and vocalize in surprise. The aliens are causing me to float. 

There is an Asian mailman (mailmen deliver messages) here with us and his legs seem unusually skinny... like there was something wrong with them. The muscles seemed atrophied. The aliens are conjuring up a new body for this man if he wants it but then they are showing him what happened to this body. They reverse time in images in front of us until we see the mailman opening a can of something to eat and it is supposedly moray eel. This is the point in which he ate something that caused all of his issues with his legs.

The mailman happily accepted the chance at a healthy body.

The scene jumps. Now I am moving again... packing up and going through things. I'm throwing things away I don't need. Among the things I am going through I find what looks like a pair of thick glasses that I identify as belonging to my friend Cary who is an artist. I'm guessing she forgot them here as she was moving out too. I determined that I would hang onto them until I could get them back to her, but when I took hold of the glasses, they morphed into what looked like a combination of a smart phone and a remote control. I accidentally pressed something and it was like it drew up some pay-per-view programming. I tried to get out of it quickly and set it aside.

Comments to a friend about the above and below paragraphs:

He is going to have to fight her in court and expose his own questionable behavior if he wants to be free of her.

That is what it means to step into the light... you expose yourself and face the fire so, ultimately, you can be free. Where there are lies and deception, bondage will remain. He has to tell the truth to gain his freedom.

There have been other mentions of multiple phones in dreams but I didn't know about cloning back then so I didn't understand.

The cloned phone was his. She found it and is using it to get what she wants.

It is the only way to liberation.

The truth will set you free.

He has to face his fears.

When he takes responsibility out in the open for the world to see, then he will be free.

It isn't lost on me that he invaded my privacy.

I was thankful that I didn't seem to have too much to take with me and there wasn't much left to clear out. I remember stabbing some Valentine's Day helium balloons and discarding them. I remember finding a bag that had various hairbands meant for pushing the hair back. There were some I think I would keep like the nude colored one, a white one and a wide black one that I had been looking for for ages. They needed to be washed, but there wasn't time. I would have to do it later when I got to the new location. I remember finding a large fabric rose and threw this away.

Maxfield Parrish

When it was time to go, I remember driving and the landscape was actually beautiful. The sky was bright blue with big puffy white clouds, the kind that Maxfield Parish was famous for painting. I considered how beautiful it was here in my home town in Missouri (Missouri means "land of the canoe people") at the moment that I was leaving it for good.  I woke up there.

I just remembered a bit about seeing Gary Numan (New Man) and someone saying that they wished he wouldn't put on his wig all the time. The wig was white and longish hair.