Thursday, November 28, 2019

Dreams: Spite from the Eye, Darkness Crucified

Art by IrenHorrors
Dream Journal Entry May 7, 2018 In a dream I was with a boy and during the dream I saw him get older. He was under my care but wasn't my biological son. I agreed to care for him. I looked at us both in the mirror. He is beautiful and he looks similar to me. Now he is an older teen and he looks more like a man now. I am in a large tiled bath tub and he disrobes and gets in. I don't know why he is doing this. There is another woman in the bath with me and she has let the baby's head go under water. I retrieve the baby and make sure she is still breathing and instruct the other woman not to let her go under water again. The man-child slides into the tub and I feel embarrassed to feel so attracted to him. There is a desire that stirs in me, but I feel conflicted. I have raised him as my own son. I love him deeply. He says something like, "Do you want me for yourself..."
I am thinking he knows I am attracted to him at first and then he continues, "...to destroy your enemies like the legend speaks of?"

Something is said about taking the spite from the eye and implanting it in the womb to create a being who would destroy their enemies. Anyone in possession of him could use him for this purpose. I had a sense that most people feared him and what he was meant for.

I touched him tenderly and lovingly and said, "You may not have been my creation, but I love you as my son. To me, you ARE my son. Just because that was the purpose doesn't mean that the story has to end that way. It can be rewritten if we both choose it. I love you. You are my son. I want you to have a life and many experiences." He said, "I guess your secret is out then." I asked him, "What secret is that? That I am more feeling and caring than people usually realize?" He smiles and said, "Yes, Mama." We embraced a loving embrace. I could feel myself tremble and I hoped he didn't notice. I had a sense that he could sense the stirring inside me that was desire mixed with motherly love. I think I could feel the same desire from him but neither of us acted on it in those moments. I wanted him to have a life and experiences and not be stuck with only knowing me.

Later I was at a travel agency and was buying a ticket to go home. I am flustered because I realize I already have bought a ticket. I am frustrated with my own forgetfulness. My son is trying to calm me and telling me it is okay. Then I consider that I need a ticket for him anyway so maybe I could just get the name changed to his instead of buying a new one. I remember seeing a note on blue paper from a travel agent. I couldn't make out what it said. I also remember the envelopes the plane tickets were in were red and white like the old TWA ones used to be. They felt old and used but the tickets inside were at least current. I remember seeing the clock said 4:11 and made note that our flight left at 5 something so we had to go right then to catch our flight.

Art by IrenHorrors
Dream Journal Entry: December 29, 2018 I was dreaming I am in a car and we are nearing an intersection and I can't seem to find the brake pedal in order to stop.

The scene jumps.. Someone is showing me what happened the night Brandon Lee died. I am seeing there is a group of guys who hate him for no real reason. He had some run in with them...an altercation of some sort and now Brandon has become their target. I am seeing how Brandon was arrested on some bogus charge but he is released. He has a run in with this group of guys again but I am seeing them in a restaurant and they are spitting in his food. It looks like pizza dough. They are taunting him.

Now I am being taken with this guy to another place. We are out of the car and down in a creek. It is shallow and we are walking through it. At first I see a German Shepard with us and later it is my little dog, Mahina. We make our way up to a location.

It feels familiar. It is a bridge. Mahina starts to growl and run, but I pick her up and carry her so she will be safe.

On the bridge Brandon himself shows up. He sees me and is so happy to see me. He is coming with us to show us the rest. He is taller than the guy I am with and he picks me up and carries me for a little while. I told him it was okay for him to put me down so I could walk with him.

I am seeing a second altercation with the same group of men and I keep seeing a bed of nails. I am starting to come out of the dream but I don't want to leave Brandon. I am starting to process the dream and recognizing this wasn't really about Brandon's death as Brandon. He was showing me Isa's death and what happened. Some people hated him and held a grudge. The pizza reference was showing me it was some Romans.

I held him again before I woke entirely and exclaimed, "Isa, my Isa!" I started hearing Sting's "Every Breath You Take" in my head and I knew this was from him. I woke, laying there trying to hold onto as much as I could and feeling happy to have seen him in my dreams.

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