Once Upon a Time

Another Story by TJ Drysdale on 500px.co

 THE END

Choices

 

The Three Fates by Alexander Rothaug

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

Silence

Silence

Silence

Secrets

Deception

Holding back

Hidden truth

Games

Games

Games

Bored

One sided

Love

Hate

Anger

Choices

Choices

Choices

Packing

Walking

Walking

Away

Dream: Natural Born Producer

November 25, 2020

I had won some money...$15,000 to make a film.

Charlize Theron was one of the actors, but she was so helpful in guiding me the whole way and helping me make connections and doing specific things. She was really knowledgeable and never really took credit for leading us all even though it was my project. I had hired all of these people, mostly women, to appear in my film and some were hoping we didn't have to film on location outside of where we were. 

Charlize was fearless when we needed to deal with bankers in a shady neighborhood. She just charged in and we followed her lead.

At the end of filming, she is singing my praises when, really, it was all her. I stopped her and started speaking about what a valuable part of the team she had been, how she went above and beyond even though she was only being paid an actress salary. 

I also remember finding a coin/button with George Washington and a presidential plaque and thought, "oh these belong to Ethan. I will set them aside so he gets them back."

In another dream at the end I was leaving and going home but remembered I left my stuff behind and had to to turn around to go get it. I was determined that I didn't want to stay there and wanted to go home.

I Have Suffered Enough

 

William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) - Pieta (1876).

September 20, 2019

"Our hands are about to bleed. Some will call this the stigmata, but others will call it the work of the devil. It was the female part of us who took me into her loving arms as I died."

October 2, 2020

"I have suffered enough." Heard just now in the in-between.

September 12, 2019

As I was starting to wake, I was talking about leaving the game. I heard myself say, "I would be willing to stay if I could actually experience my bliss." 

May 26, 2017

Something was mentioned about how I really should make the dog sleep on the floor once in a while. At which point I suggested that maybe they would like to sleep on a bed of nails once in a while. I pointed out that we were in the basement and the floor was cold.

April 20, 2018 

I haven't been remembering my dreams lately but I did hear something in my in between state as I was waking from my nap this evening. I heard:

"In my most difficult moments, a thief..."

I finished, "...made you laugh."

I heard, "Yes! A thief made me laugh."

I then saw crosses.

November 24, 2018

"She was born from all the shepherds" heard just now in my in-between state.

December 29, 2018 

I was dreaming I am in a car and we are nearing an intersection and I can't seem to find the brake pedal in order to stop. 

The scene jumps.. Someone is showing me what happened the night Brandon Lee died. I am seeing there is a group of guys who hate him for no real reason. He had some run in with them...an altercation of some sort and now Brandon has become their target. I am seeing how Brandon was arrested on some bogus charge but he is released. He has a run in with this group of guys again but I am seeing them in a restaurant and they are spitting in his food. It looks like pizza dough. They are taunting him. 

Now I am being taken with this guy to another place. We are out of the car and down in a creek. It is shallow and we are walking through it. At first I see a German Shepard with us and later it is my little dog, Mahina. We make our way up to a location. 

It feels familiar. It is a bridge. Mahina starts to growl and run, but I pick her up and carry her so she will be safe. 

On the bridge Brandon himself shows up. He sees me and is so happy to see me. He is coming with us to show us the rest. He is taller than the guy I am with and he picks me up and carries me for a little while. I told him it was okay for him to put me down so I could walk with him. 

I am seeing a second altercation with the same group of men and I keep seeing a bed of nails. I am starting to come out of the dream but I don't want to leave Brandon. I am starting to process the dream and recognizing this wasn't really about Brandon's death as Brandon. He was showing me Isa's death and what happened. Some people hated him and held a grudge. The pizza reference was showing me it was some Romans. 

I held him again before I woke entirely and exclaimed, "Isa, my Isa!" I started hearing Sting's "Every Breath You Take" in my head and I knew this was from him. I woke, laying there trying to hold onto as much as I could and feeling happy to have seen him in my dreams.

It seems I suffer so much physical pain. I once had an intuitive reach out to me saying a message for me from spirit is that I am "a slave to pain". I didn't understand then my connection to the Mary and Isa story. I don't know how to release this and move on from something that is obviously past life trauma coming forward with me into this life. 

It makes it difficult to want to remain in a physical body.

"Healer, heal thy self," but I can't seem to get there no matter how much I grow and heal emotionally. Maybe it is just time to go now. Maybe my work here is done.

Return Shadow to Light

 

Art by Jimmy Manton

I crush all bonds to the physical manifestation of my shadow self.

I protect my physical form, my energy and life force from vampires.

I remove the burn that my shadow self has inflicted and restore my health.

Two shall become one.

Shadow and Light, once separated, now will come back together to put the wrongs right. Shadow will dissolve and give back all that she stole and will give up her current physical role.

I break all connections to my external shadow self. I break all protections she may have in place. 

Let balance be restored.

Let Shadow return to Light

Ashes to ashes

Dust to dust

There can be only one

And so it is!

Jealousy and Observing Cillian

Cillian Murpjy by James Wright Photography

I have a knife and I want to stick it in and peel a layer of decaying flesh from your body.

So, you're jealous, are you?

It would appear that this is the lesson we are at for you today.

Beautiful, younger Cillian Murphy...all the things you wish you could be. All the things you are not and so my exploration of him you saw as "cheating". 

Here is an opportunity for you to work through your insecurities.

Photo of Cillian Murphy

Here is someone sincerely grounded, kind, and generous who has no need of advertising his good deeds for publicity. 

Here is someone comfortable in his feminine self enough to perform as a woman...twice.

Here is someone who lives independently away from the chains of the entertainment industry and prying eyes.

He lives as a normal person in a community drinking a pint at the local pub now and then. 

His energy is calm and grounded. He is sincere and present in the now moment.

And so you resent him and think my interest is "cheating" regardless of everything I have said and tried to explain.

Cillian Murphy by Willy Vanderperre

When will you understand that exploring who Cillian is as a person was actually me exploring myself and understanding what beautiful energy *I* have to share with others? Exploring Cillian was energetic masturbation to show me how far I have come and help me fall in love with myself even more.

I don't want someone exactly like me.

I want 'different' and that is where you come in.

Yes, he is a beautiful human and he showed me that I am as well.. 

You can choose to stay where you are at, making excuses about being too damaged to be loved, but the problem is, I already love you. I have already chosen you as my first choice...as my heart choice...as my only choice.

But if you don't choose me, too, I will be okay and I will move on because I love me completely and know I will be okay no matter what.

Dream Excerpt: The Annunciation

"The Annunciation by Frederic James Shields

February 27, 2019

Just before I woke I heard, "He sacrificed her for you." I then saw a sword stab and go through all the pages of an open book. I couldn't tell you what kind of book it was, just that it was thick and had calligraphy style writing on it. And at that point I heard, "Mary, a boy child will to be born to you..."

The Annunciation by George Lawrence Bulleid

January 6, 2013 

Julie called me last night to tell me that for two nights in a row she had dreams about me having a baby boy named Reed. I had to laugh and think that was kind of freaky. I had my own interesting dream. I can't remember well the details but will try to recall what I can. I seem to recall being somewhere and dancing or doing some kind of acrobatics. It was kind of like aerial dancing only without the fabric. Anyway, there was some guy there. I think I liked him and then we started to lay down where we were to have sex, but then there was some woman who I believe he had been seeing who was next to us which caused us to stop for the moment. I think I knew who "he" was in the dream, but for the life of me, I can't recall who he was supposed to be. Somehow I knew this was the father of the son that would be born to me. It was so weird. Anyway, the dream changed and I saw stars....bright stars. I knew one was the father and the lower one the son. There was something special about the alignment and how the son was "come to Earth" in its alignment. And I knew that the "son" was coming to Earth to be my child. At one point the stars changed to people. People were really excited about the star coming to Earth. It was a wild dream and I'm not sure what it all means. I laid there thinking about it all and trying to process it and kept wondering who the father was.

When my daughter was 4-years- old, she randomly started drawing me with a baby in my tummy. The little man flying around beside me is a spirit. I have to believe that she intuitively knew something I didn't at the time. I don't think there is a literal pregnancy, but an energetic one.

Madonna and Child. By William Adolphe Bouguereau. 

I've had lots and lots of dreams about giving birth to a baby boy. I have had dreams that I was pregnant as well. I have been pondering all of the different possible symbolic meanings of these dreams. 

The obvious symbolism is the birth of a project or idea that involves two people. Fertilization requires two energies coming together. But what determines if fertilization takes and conception begins? Not all energies that come together conceive.

I have tried to decide if I would be portrayed as someone with a lot of children in dreams or only one. I work with a lot of people through communication. My creations are often inspired by my conversations, but only one has been the muse to inspire most of my current beautiful and heartfelt poems. Those are my heart child born from love. My other creations, my blog posts and musings are born from a desire to grow, heal, and understand me.

I do think that I have had to rebirth parts of me that had died off which could be part of the meaning of some dreams.

Virgin Mary and Child by R. Ansigni

I still believe there are symbolic meanings to birth, pregnancy and children in dreams that I don't fully understand yet, but I trust it will be made clearer eventually.

What children have you birthed recently through the coming together and partnership of another?

Dream Excerpt: U-turns

November 19, 2020

I dreamed I was in New York again, only I was on the island part of it in a park on a hill where I could see a good distance. I remember feeling like I had been there before, but now it was a little bit hazy so you couldn't see as far as you might normally if it was clear. 

I remember driving through an intersection and going up a hill thinking I would be able to get where I wanted to be from that direction, but as I came up the hill, I saw that it dead ended and there was a giant u-turn for traffic. I heard, "It will continue to be a u-turn until you get the lesson."

Photo by Nick Hannes

Comments:

It is pretty obvious to me what the excerpt means that I included here.

For me, New York represents "the big apple" and apples represent heart, so this is talking about someone with a big heart and someone is feeling a little hazy. Things aren't quite clear to them and they can't see that far ahead.

The second part speaks of navigating the journey back to self and not completing a lesson and having to go back to it whether you want to or not. The journey dead ends until you get specific lessons and then the path will open up and you can move forward again.

I talked about this with a friend in how I totally fucked up in one situation, so the lessons I was supposed to get with that person moved to a new person I would come to later. I don't get to bypass the lessons I'm supposed to get, they boomerang back to me through other people. 

It happens to all of us. If we want to keep moving forward and not keep having to turn around for the lesson, it is best to confront what might be difficult to face and learn from repeating experiences so we can finally have the path open up us.

The spiritual journey isn't easy because we have to come to a point of being really honest about where we are challenged and where we need to grow. I can always tell when a lesson is coming back to me that I might have failed at before and I try to make different choices going forward. Admitting our mistakes and apologizing isn't always easy. It takes swallowing a lot of pride and doing what we know is right and what we would want in return. 

Have you been finding yourself turning down u-turn only streets?

Art by Catrin Welz-Stein

Recognize the patterns and start making different choices so that you can unlock illumination and the path forward that is hidden behind a hidden gateway.