Bean In My Pocket

Newborn - Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Bean In My Pocket

Bean in my pocket

If I plant you, what will you become?

Will you become
The new life I dream of late at night?
A life unfettered
By the chains of living to survive
A life of freedom
Feathers cover my wings as I take flight

Bean in my pocket

If I plant you, what will you become?

Will you become
The song I hold in my heart and hum?
A string of sound

Floating through the air to reach you
All of the pieces

When brought together sing of a sum

Bean in my pocket

If I plant you, what will you become?
Will you become
A beacon of light shining like a star?
Illuminating, glowing

Lighting our way in the darkest night

Constant and true

Beloved soul who comes from afar

Written June 7, 2014

By Oktobre Taylor

Author's notes: It is like giving birth all over again. lol I haven't written anything in close to 20 years.  This is the first of many to come.  My new material will reflect the growth I have made over the years and the new direction I have gone.

Tree of Hope

Tree of Hope - Shawna Erback

Tree of Hope 

She cried softy on the hill
Beneath an old tree with dignity
All alone on her knees, tear drops falling to the ground
To the wind, full of feeling, life giving, with earth they blend
Old tree stood still and silent for all his years
But awakened when he took a drink of innocent tears
He moaned relief as limbs stretched and roots rumbled
For on this day, chains released, barriers crumbled
"Thank you," he said gently in his tree voice
A single green leaf touched the face that was so moist
"Why do you cry?" he asked aloud with great concern
"The world, dear Tree, has forgotten love. For blood they yearn.
I fear I'm losing the will and the strength to keep going on."
"It's hard," he started, "I agree, but look beyond.
Remove your eyes from this world's decline and mountain slope.
Look always up at the endless sky. There you will find hope.
Child, you're not alone with your feelings of sorrow and dismay.
Look always to the sky, something new is on the way.
You have been chosen to tell the world a new age is near.
I know this is so because you gave to me life with your tears.
You are tied to me now and forever with an invisible rope.
Go now, walk the path and remember I am the Tree of Hope.

Written by Oktobre Taylor
October 27, 1990

Twin Souls

If anyone knows the artist of this piece, please comment so I can give credit.

Twin Souls 

When we were light

We were as one

It was before our time

Memory? There is none

Purple was separated

To make red and blue

Blue was sent forth

To give life to you

Sent to another place

Red gave life to me

Twin souls separated

What will be, will be

Surrounded by many

Yet still all alone

Lost in this vast world

Each path all our own

Twin souls searching

For what, they don't know

The sun sets and rises

The wind continues to blow

The obstacle of distance

Won't keep us apart

A feeling we've followed

A feeling in the heart

With the gods as my guide

I found you, my twin

Our colors given the chance

To once again blend

Let's join as one color

Let a united light shine

Together we can conquer

Every mountain we climb

Written November 12, 1989

Author's notes: I wrote this many years ago.  I wrote it because of a sense I felt...a yearning to connect with someone I knew in my heart was out there somewhere.  While I no longer believe in the sense of twin souls/flames the way some do (two halves of a whole), I believe that there are people out there that are primary soul mates who we live life time after life time with.  There are special souls we are an energetic match to and sometimes they find each other and share a magnificent love...the kind of love people dream of.

If We Want the World to Change

If We Want the World to Change

We're trying to change the world

Trying to make it a better place to live

Talking about our environment

Politics and the need for a racial bridge

Drugs, the high crime rate, hunger

The homeless and the need for us to give

I'm telling you here

And now in all honesty

If we want the world to change

It must start within you and me

You can save the sky

You can save the trees

But what is it worth

Without humanity

We've got to make love for all

The focus of society

If we want our world to change

It must start within you and me

I see many obvious contradictions

With your words and the life you lead

Man on the street needs more than money

Yet for him you're unwilling to bleed

Oh yes, you realize there is a problem

Still your time is consumed by greed

Why not embrace a stranger today

I'm telling you love is what we need

Written  July 17, 1990

By Oktobre Taylor 

Edited May 28, 2014 to add Author's Notes: I want to make sure everyone knows that these poem/lyrics, for better or worse, were written over 20 years ago.  On Facebook a friend and I had a discussion about saving our world, etc.
Click on the photo to make it larger for easier reading.

Strings

Susan Seddon-Boulet - Shaman Spider Woman

Strings

You offer me your love

You offer me your touch

But I'm inclined to believe

You also offer an iron clutch

You offer me your hand

You offer me your kiss

But I have to wonder

If you offer a chain to my wrist

You say it wouldn't happen

You say it would never be

Well, I'm no stranger to this game

I've had many strings attached to me

You say you're different

You say I'd still be free

Well you might be intoxicating

But my eyes can clearly see

I want to fly with you at my side

But I don't want to get tangled in your strings

I want to play without being the prey

But a lady bug on a spider web always clings

Oh I don't want to get tangled in your strings

Written May 30, 1990

By Oktobre Taylor

Take a Stand

Take a Stand

Can you see what I try to hide

The person I am somewhere inside

Hollow words and desperate cries

Complications with discovered lies

Pointless destination has a reason

Tasteless flavor has a season

Unspoken words have found a voice

Cruel demands? There is a choice

Oh condescending eyes reveal

No one man is made of steel

Immobilized and on goes time

Crusaders are accused of crimes

Crossing over the line too late

Who shall we blame? Maybe fate

Breathing in this poisoned air

And still alive but may I ask where?

Take a stand

If you want to be seen

Take a stand

If you want to be heard

Take a stand

Say what you mean

Take a stand

To move the unstirred

Written December 25, 1988

By Oktobre Taylor

Myths About Spiritual People

I know I have touched upon this topic before in a previous blog entry about authenticity and the spiritual path. I am having a particularly shitty day where my faith in everything has been shaken. So many spiritual people give off the air of sunshine and rainbows. It is all about love, love, love and everything is always hunky-fucking-dory. Gotta plaster love and positivity because that is what is expected of us. Well guess what? Sometimes I don't feel like spewing fairy dust and shitting rainbows. Sometimes I fall into a really bad dark mood. Sometimes I question everything I think I believe. Sometimes I just want to say "fuck it all" and take an exit from the giant stage drama called "life on Earth."

It doesn't make me any less spiritual than the people who try so hard to stay "positive" at all costs. It just makes me more authentic and willing to show my flaws and true feelings. If I am in a bad fucking mood, I am not asking anyone to try cheer me up or to try to save me or help me. Just listen and try to be understanding. Allow me to me vent my frustrations because more than likely, I will move past it eventually.

People within the spiritual community tend to only want to share the joys of their life and happy thoughts. I have been just as guilty of that as there is nothing more annoying than reading someone incessantly complain about how shit there life is. I think sometimes we don't share the dark shit because if we see only kittens and flowers and positivity we can convince ourselves that our life is pretty awesome most of the time. It makes us feel better to read our own stuff we have shared. But I think it can give people an illusion of who we really are and they don't see that we are human and sometimes we are weighed down with very real and dark human emotions. Sometimes showing just a glimpse of our shadow sides helps the person next to us feel like it is okay to be real and admit that sometimes we hate the world and don't want to be here anymore. Sometimes we doubt our guides and think they are assholes who have forgotten how hard it is to be in a skin suit and just how very dense this life can be. Sometimes we feel like screaming and breaking things instead of meditating and breathing the shit away.

My name is Oktobre. I am a spirit who wears a skin suit. I don't always love my life. I don't always love my guides and trust them. I sometimes rage. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I just get really mad sometimes and spew profanities and angry words. And guess what? I am still a very spiritual person in spite of it all. I always eventually find my center and get balanced again.

Stranger To Myself

Artist: Frank Dicksee

Stranger To Myself

Gasping for air

The waves push me down

I see you there

And still I start to drown

I fight this feeling

Yet it comes back stronger than before

My head's sent reeling

Won't you please unlock this door

I'm a stranger to myself

Wishing I was someone else

I missed the last train

And I'm left with this pain

A white rose in hand

Changes into white sand

Wishing I was someone else

I'm a stranger to myself

I'm left calling

Wondering if anyone will hear me

I seem to be falling

No one to catch me as I drop into the sea

Gasping for air

The waves push me down

I see you there

And still I start to drown

Escape is what I need

But my feet are rooted to the ground

Like a forgotten seed

My spirit will be dead when found

By Oktobre Taylor

Written November 3, 1987