It doesn't make me any less spiritual than the people who try so hard to stay "positive" at all costs. It just makes me more authentic and willing to show my flaws and true feelings. If I am in a bad fucking mood, I am not asking anyone to try cheer me up or to try to save me or help me. Just listen and try to be understanding. Allow me to me vent my frustrations because more than likely, I will move past it eventually.
People within the spiritual community tend to only want to share the joys of their life and happy thoughts. I have been just as guilty of that as there is nothing more annoying than reading someone incessantly complain about how shit there life is. I think sometimes we don't share the dark shit because if we see only kittens and flowers and positivity we can convince ourselves that our life is pretty awesome most of the time. It makes us feel better to read our own stuff we have shared. But I think it can give people an illusion of who we really are and they don't see that we are human and sometimes we are weighed down with very real and dark human emotions. Sometimes showing just a glimpse of our shadow sides helps the person next to us feel like it is okay to be real and admit that sometimes we hate the world and don't want to be here anymore. Sometimes we doubt our guides and think they are assholes who have forgotten how hard it is to be in a skin suit and just how very dense this life can be. Sometimes we feel like screaming and breaking things instead of meditating and breathing the shit away.
My name is Oktobre. I am a spirit who wears a skin suit. I don't always love my life. I don't always love my guides and trust them. I sometimes rage. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I just get really mad sometimes and spew profanities and angry words. And guess what? I am still a very spiritual person in spite of it all. I always eventually find my center and get balanced again.