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| Art by Hillary White |
I dreamed of you last night. You were the manager of an apartment building. Everyone hated and avoided you because you had to enforce the rules. Your mom and dad owned the place, but you were responsible for keeping the tenants in check.
It seems like the people there were having a BBQ in a common area. They were cooking on a tiny grill and could only cook one burger at a time. I decided to invite you to join us but explained that it could be awhile before we got our food. Apparently no one was ever nice to you and no one ever invited you to the parties. At first everyone groaned about it. But something shifted in you at that point. You softened towards me. You introduced me to your husband. I was asking you both about what state you got married in and saying how I thought it still wasn't legal in some states.
You became kind of smitten with me because I was nice to you. There was something about everyone from the apartments going to the community pool (UGOSSIP original), but it had been closed down for some reason. Your husband came up near you, but you moved away from him to be closer to me.
At one point you were behind me and connecting to me through our clothes and I spontaneously orgasmed. (Symbolic of a connection that moves you on an energetic level.)
I remember introducing you to my father. My father, awkwardly, took your left hand in his gloved hand and sort of shook it. For some reason, I couldn't remember your name. I had a complete brain fart. You felt upset and I apologized, said I did the same with my sister once. Sometimes I just can't extract a word I want no matter how hard I try.
I saw the letter "E" and I heard the name "Jenny Povacheck". (Point of view check?) Seeing "E" has been a recurring theme lately. I'm hearing "Rated E for Everyone" as I type this.
As I discussed this dream with my friend, I told her, that the theme was about being inclusive and not leaving people out. I explained that, in the dream, you seemed like an unpleasant guy, but were really not. You were just hurt and felt left out because you had the unpopular task of enforcing rules. When someone could actually see you as a person and took an interest in knowing you, something in you shifted into a more pleasant way of being.
We all want to be seen. We all want to be included. We all want someone to be genuinely interested in who we are beyond the jobs we perform no matter what they may be. We all want to feel connection that moves us on a deeper level.
Empathy, the kind where we try to imagine what someone else might feel in a situation, can help us shift our point of view about someone. It can help us be more understanding and then behave in such a way that we would want to be treated.
Empathy can heal and soothe. We can help each other bloom with the empathic choices we make in how we treat each other.
I hope one day you bring back UGOSSIP but instead of using it to tear people apart and tear them down, I hope you use it to help, heal and include those lonely misfits and broken people it attracts.
Dream Journal Entry: April 29, 2021 As I was rousing, I was thinking about a puppy I saw in a dream that Inara received and heard, "He just needed to be trained so that he was an asset instead of a distraction." (Using UGOSSIP as an asset instead of a distraction?)
The puppy I saw was dark with streaks of brown. He looked kind of like a german shepherd but had longer hair. I looked up breeds and the closest I could find is a Dutch Shepherd.
There is a place for what you do and what you have to offer, it's just, maybe you can use your powers for good going forward. Be a teacher, not in just your profession, but in every action you take along the way. Being a living example is the most powerful teaching tool any of us possess.
Blessings and love to you, brother.
Oktobre
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