Dear Keanu, Money Can't Buy You Love

 

Illustration by Marc Simont (1958)

July 8, 2020

The below are comments I posted on a now dead message board that I saved and feel are worth reposting here:

It is interesting how many parallels there are between River and Keanu. They both have/had Klingons. The thing is, it is a pattern. The individual desires approval and love and uses their money to "help" and shower them with "love" but it ends up creating dependency and the helper eventually starts to resent those they "help" and give to because it becomes expected and a codependent relationship. People seeking approval and validation outside of themselves in such a way will always create these types of relationships. Loving and approving of self first is where ending the destructive cycles begin. 

Anyone whose "love" can be bought doesn't know how to love. 

River took on the responsibility of other people when it would have been kinder to simply teach them how to take care of themselves. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he, himself, put it there. He never had the opportunity to recognize his patterns and then take steps to make different choices that would have liberated him. Keanu has that opportunity to make different choices and radically change his life for the better. The question is, will he ever become a man of action and actually make those changes and choices. Without action, good intentions are meaningless. 

It is funny how his comeback with John Wick made him an "action star" but in reality he is often paralyzed with fear and fails to take the necessary actions he should. I still have hope that will change and we will see a new version emerge from the ashes of the old one.

_______________________

Illustration by Natalie Rukavishnikova

We easily become creatures of habit. 

Supporting the Klingons is all River knew and he could have just as easily grown to be a 50 something year old guy with an army of hungry guppies. He could have just as easily ended up exactly where Keanu is right now. They are both Virgos and probably had a lot in common which was the reason they became fast friends. 

In order to break destructive habits, we need to replace them with beneficial habits. We can't just take a habit away from someone who has an addictive personality and say, "Don't do this anymore." We have to give them something else to do in its place. So instead of being responsibile for everyone in his life, he can start by simply taking responsibility for himself. He struggles with that. 

Instead of living a life that is draining his will to live, he can let it go and do something new that lights him up inside. Maybe that is drawing, making music, getting outside and exploring nature. Maybe making indie films with people who have the same vision on a low budget... OUTSIDE OF HOLLYWOOD.

As long as he stays in that city, it will be too easy to revert back to old ways. It is like telling an alcoholic to stop drinking and giving him a job in a bar. That wouldn't be a wise choice.

He could live a simple, humble, happy life should he choose it. You don't need mega millions for that.

_________________________

Illustration by Lector Constante

Starting new means throwing out the old script that has already been made and played and putting pen to paper and creating a new story. 

His past doesn't have to define who he chooses to be today or tomorrow.

Dwelling on the mistakes we have made doesn't allow for the potential of what we can become. Mistakes are how we learn and decide to make different choices next time. Mistakes are how we learn our most valuable lessons.

I believe there is a spark inside Keanu just waiting for the right environment to burst forth. There IS substance he hides away from the world. 

I feel beating someone into submission doesn't make them a better person. It only makes them more fearful and obedient. Accountability isn't true accountability when it is gotten with a stick. True accountability comes from a place of inner reform. 

And even when he does transform completely, many will see him only for his mistakes. He has to become strong enough and confident of the value of the new version of himself that, whatever projection people want to place on him, he will always know who he really is at his core and stay true to it.

____________________

Illustration by Natalie Rukavishnikova

Hollywood is where Keanu forgot who he really is. His foundation with his family was sketchy, but he didn't get swallowed whole until he had been in the raw sewage of Hollywood for awhile. He got lost in the masks he wore to survive. He isn't really sure who he is anymore. That is why he needs to leave LA, so he can discover who his real self is. LA is the drug dealer who supplies the addict with the poison that fills their veins. You can't change when you keep the old people who enabled the addiction to remain around you. People who want to get clean have to eliminate a lot of people from their lives. I know he is capable, but will he make that life altering choice to save himself?

Theodor Kittelsen - White Bear King (1912)

Dream Journal Entry: July 9, 2020

I dreamed about Alexandra Grant and a business she was running. Her employees were unhappy and everyone was quitting. They were complaining that no one actually knew who was running things. Who was the leader? I think I was seeing as one of the employees. Something is said it was a good thing it was payday and they have their check because they weren't planning on coming back.

Now I seem to have just arrived home from traveling and there is some event being held in the space. I am sitting down drinking milk and resting when I see some guy I identify as some big deal art dealer. He is scrutinizing me and the whole surroundings. He thinks it is all very unprofessional and I have this knowing he never wants to do business with Alexandra Grant again now.

The scene jumps and I am in a car with some guy. He is driving and we are coming upon a T junction. We are going too fast and can't seem to slow down much and I am worried we are going to crash either into other cars or the embankment. He manages to steer left away from other cars and then gets turned around the opposite direction going right, which is what he wanted to begin with. 

We are driving through an area that feels like the mountains and there is snow and these buildings all decked out in Christmas decorations. I said, "Oh look! Christmas in July!" The guy says, "Yeah, it feels like Christmas has never gone away because I have been seeing this kind of thing all summer."

We stopped at a tiny place I identify as a coffee shop that has just reopened after being closed for the quarantines. I remember placing a circular coffee stain on the right rear side of some faded blue jeans I was going to put on before I went inside. I wasn't sure why I was doing this until I saw that the guy had obviously sat in coffee and had a big stain on his ass. I guessed I was doing this so the guy wouldn't have to feel alone in his embarrassment about it. Some guy was stating how glad he and his wife were that the shop had opened back up finally because his wife was going to bleed out and die without her coffee. I consider he is being dramatic but understand that it is a comfort thing to have the shop open again. There was a woman talking about wanting her boyfriend back now that the whole quarantine thing was over. The place was packed full of people. I move to make myself coffee as there wasn't enough in the pot for a cup. I pull out a pot to fill with water to heat and I notice one of those dried flowers that you pop in hot water to make tea starting to soften. I move to find something else to heat water in. Axel Rose is there looking like his younger self and he is telling me I probably don't have time to make coffee before the shop closes for the night. A spiritual friend is there and she chimes in and agrees that I might not have enough time to make it before they close again. I move from the electric kettle to finding a pan when I eye a gas stove. I said, "It's okay. I'm going to do the best I can. I like to start things." I am seeing in my head all the seeds I have started and most recently the marigolds that I sprouted. I continued, "I may not always get to see them full grown, but I like to get them started and watch them grow."

I then hear "And you will know him by his fruits". In the dream, I am considering what "fruits" actually are and how my recent comments on a message board were my fruits I bear. Even if they hadn't given me the income or freedom I had hoped for, they were valuable fruits of my labor and lessons that I could give to other people and I felt satisfied in knowing the quality of them. 

I also remember a bit where I was in a kiddie aquatic area where kids could stand in shallow water and touch some of the marine life. I was giggling at how one little girl had sat completely down in the water. I placed my hand in the water to lift myself from my knees and something imbedded into a finger on my right hand. I tried to pull it out, but everytime I did, it seemed to imbed further in. There was a guy who worked there and I asked him for help and showed him the object. On closer inspection, it was a pickle knife. The main part was a pickle but there was a blade that had barbs so that everytime you tried to pull it out, it got deeper in. The guy said, "Yeah, these are nasty. You wouldn't be able to get that out by yourself." So he takes a knife out of his pocket and starts to cut away at the pickle little by little. Eventually he got to the blade which looked more like a corn cob with barbed spikes. He pulled it off without too much trouble or damage to me and discarded it. I was grateful to have it off of me. I think I woke up there.

Matthew 7:16-20

16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 

17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

King James Version (KJV)