An Open Letter to Cillian Murphy

Dear Cillian Murphy,

I can't believe you exist!!!

At first when I was exploring you, I easily thought, "oh yeah, he is my ideal" but I didn't actually know how true that was until I started exploring you further. It is difficult to get much from watching movie promotion interviews, but these little sparkling glimpses would appear, causing me to gasp and giggle with delight.

VICE interview...you were vocal about not loving the process of promoting a project with interviews but you did it earnestly with projects you truly believe in. I thought , "Oh my God!! He has integrity and values! Just look at that integrity! That is amazing in his industry!"

Later you go into a shop that has some sweet looking antique guitars. You make a B-line for this. "The music is still alive in him!" is the the spontaneous mental note I make. You admire a guitar that is £27,000 and immediately reject the idea of spending so frivolously and self indulgently. Immediately I think, "Oh my God, what planet are you from? You aren't materialistic and selfish! How is it you exist in that industry?!!! I think you might be a unicorn or some other mythical creature! People say they exist, but you have never seen one yourself."

Another interview...

Apparently you like to hike with your dog. Two thoughts occur: "Yay! He's a dog person!" "He likes to be outside and enjoy nature like me!"

Something became clear to me as I fell deeper in love with you with each morsel of goodness I found about you. At last I met someone who is the mirror of who I have become after the 9 years of my transformative spiritual journey back to self. The parts of you I find so beautiful and amazing are also who I am. By loving what I am seeing in you, I am also loving the me I have become and that is priceless.

If by some freak happening you find yourself available for a new relationship, will you marry me? 😁

Sincerely,

Oktobre

PS: I deliberately didn't use a photo of you because I know I would be more attracted to something funny than having to look at several pictures of myself. I'm guessing you would feel the same. The illustration I have selected is for you and not the potential readers of this letter. 🐬

I'm Feeding The Trolls

So, I have this hater. Michael Gazica is a Sum 41 fan who has taken a personal disliking to my comments on Deryck Whibley's pictures on Instagram. My last blog post is filled with hateful comments from him and while I could completely ignore him, I want to take this opportunity to impart information that could be useful to some of my readers.

I annoy him a LOT according to him. And maybe if I were in the 5th grade and still the sensitive being I once was, the hateful words of a bully like him would have made me cry. I am not that sensitive child. I am a hardened 46-year-old woman...old enough to be his mother and his attempts to drive me away are pointless. I could psycho-analyze his behavior and dissect why it is he feels the need to attack me, but I'm not sure it serves a useful purpose here.

What I understand that it might take him many years to come to is that we all act as mirrors for each other.  We show each other where we need to grow. If someone triggers you, chances are pretty good they are reflecting something inside of you that you need to take a look at. You can ignore the opportunity to grow and continue to be hateful and unpleasant or you can choose to look at your shadow self and become a better person. He doesn't understand yet, but I know his spite and venom isn't really about me...it is about a deficit within him that he doesn't want to face. I am simply the trigger.

Maybe he hoped to rattle my chains, but all I could do is sit there and think "He is another me. He is showing me my shadow self. I love you, Michael Gazica, because my shadow self especially needs love." See, in the end, we are all one despite the illusion that we are separate beings. We are all connected. To hate him for his ill behavior is to hate myself. Maybe some day that other me will grow and learn and become a nicer person. I can hope.

As I told him in comments, I am secure in who I am. His opinion of me has no weight or influence on the choices I make or my behavior. Hate if you need to hate but know that I love me and my love for me is really the only love that matters.