I Am Not This Reality

Photo by Willy Suwandhi

I had a dream last night that was basically showing me that none of this was real. This is a virtual reality designed to be a school. That is why I get so often the school theme...because it really is and it is to teach us not to be assholes in here so that we aren't assholes out there. None of us probably spend as much time in here as we think.

Dream after dream I have had about two puzzles that I was trying to put together. I would get so frustrated and put the puzzles away. I will include some of those dreams below:

November 8, 2013 Also there was something about a puzzle. I put a puzzle together but there were all these other pieces like there had been a second puzzle in the box. I put the pieces of the second puzzle back in the box but bits of earth and moss went in with the pieces. I carefully took out the chunks of moss and moist soil and put it around the base of a mailbox (communication?). There were worms mixed in the soil and I noticed a single caterpillar. None of it was gross and wasn't trying to discard it, but was trying to separate it carefully so that I didn't lose any of the pieces of the second puzzle. I woke up before I had a chance to put together the second puzzle. There was a micro cd played but i can't remember what the music was.

August 17, 2014 There were puzzle pieces in my purse but only a couple pieces fit. All the pieces seemed like sky and border pieces because they were all blue. There wasn't a complete puzzle and I wasn't even sure if the pieces were part of the same puzzle. 

January 23, 2015 I was in the water doing puzzles and I think Nuno was in the water with me. I decided to put the puzzle away because I wasn't going to have time to finish it before I got out of the pool, so I started to put it away. I think I remember seeing Dan Reed's face as part of the puzzle. But then suddenly the water pulled back and then went forward and straight up leaving us really high up in the air and when it came down we crashed onto the floor and were hurt. Nuno and I went off somewhere to nurse our wounds. 

September 11, 2015 There was also a dream about puzzles. There were two puzzles...a large one on the table and a smaller one on the floor. Come to find out they were my puzzles I had been working on. Another girl was there helping me put pieces in place. Sometimes when I went to put a piece in place in the larger one, bits would slide off the table and I would have to reassemble it. The smaller one on the floor was mostly together except smaller pieces. There was something about some woman mentioning how red my lipstick was and it was as red as her own and she moves forward to kiss me. 

September 30, 2015 There was something about puzzle pieces and doing puzzles and two puzzles getting mixed up together. I tried to keep them apart but at one point just didn't care and put both puzzles away. 

And that is exactly the problem I have faced with all of this. I have pieces of memory coming in about who I really am and my actual life and I have pieces about the role I am performing here and the assignments I have been given. I have been trying to make my real life fit into the puzzle of my virtual life and it has confused the fuck out of me to no end. 

 I think I am finally starting to get it. It is about fucking time because I am tired and cranky. Lol

We have to play out our roles, solve the problems and collect the bits for the experience and tools it gives us, kind of like with any game. Are we actually all one? Are you actually another version of me? Are Adam and Eve actually the same being? I don't know. In the game only I think they are the same being. In my real reality, my partner/spouse is playing the Lucifer character. My over there cousin is performing the role of Adam.

What I know for sure is there isn't a big bad virus to fight other than one perhaps programmed for us to defeat just as there is always a big bad at the end of any game. We are nearing the end of the game.

My gamer story has revealed the story-line I am playing out is that of Eve and later Mary, mother of Yeshua. A multitude of players can come in and play out those same roles and story lines simultaneously just as we do in any role playing game. You get to choose the characters you play and the lessons for each player will look different according to what choices we have made along the way. We are playing out all the possibilities of outcomes. That means it is possible there is an Adam/Yeshua who simply cannot grow or take responsibility for himself and his life. What if his Eve/Mary's lesson is to let go, set him free and nurture herself in a loving way. There could be countless Eve/Mary's here in this reality all playing out different possibilities.

Instead of saying "we are all one" maybe the truest phrase would be "we are all connected" exactly like the flower of Life.

There is beauty in our uniqueness and separateness. Religion is too far in one direction and new age spirituality is too far in the other

The key is balance.

It always has been but our pendulums have been wildly swinging back and forth. The truth is not in one extreme or the other. The truth is in the middle.

So fight the good fight and save this virtual world or look inside yourself for your answers and ask yourself some important questions:

1. Who am I really?
2. What is the mission my character came for? In other words, what scene are you supposed to be playing out and what are you supposed to be learning? If you aren't asking yourself in all moments "What am I supposed to be learning from this?" Then you are not doing the assignments you signed up for in this virtual reality school.

In order to recognize what needs to be worked on and learned, you have to see the patterns in your life that keep coming back over and over. Once you recognize the patterns, you can then make different choices instead of repeating the same actions over and over again.

When you finally get what I have only just come to understand, you can breathe a sigh of relief and then tackle each moment in life as the challenge in the game that it actually is and learn what those moments are asking you to learn. You can choose to be distracted by Trump, the whole world going to hell or you can focus on getting the fuck out of the game and graduating.

So when you no longer see me getting worked up about the state of the world, it is because I understand now that the only fight I have always faced is within. I have learned a lot along the way and can now extract the lessons I struggled to accept. It has always been a journey back to myself, I just didn't always know it until now.

Don't you think you should stop fighting and start looking to the lessons you are meant to learn so that you can graduate and go home?

Did you hear that? It is the sound of the alarm clock ringing. What will you choose?