Wednesday, February 1, 2017

You Attract What You Are

I posted on Facebook and Instagram about the varying degrees of depth and intelligence of the different audiences for different bands. I stated that my experience had led me to the conclusion that bands attract the kind of audiences that they themselves are. This is also true for us as individuals.

The people who are being drawn to you are in some way the same as you.

My husband once made a comment about how I seemed to be a magnet for broken, abused and traumatized people who have a lot of issues. He said this as though I was somehow different from the people who were drawn to me. I looked at him and laughed and said, "They are drawn to me because I am like them. I have been abused and traumatized and have lots of issues too." And then I reminded him, "Just remember, you are one of the people I attracted." Now there is food for thought.

Let's talk about what we are attracted to. I think attraction can serve us in multiple ways. We are often attracted to people and situations where we can reinact the dysfunctional relationship we had with whichever or both parents in childhood. Let's say your parent was verbally abusive to you. You then go out and find partners and sometimes friends who will repeat the pattern you experienced in childhood of verbal abuse. It isn't until we start to work through all of those patterns that we can face it and make different choices that are self loving and nurturing choices. If you grew up feeling unsupported, you will continually attract to yourself situations and people in which you feel unsupported until you face your issues and work through them. It may be possible that you aren't actually unsupported at all but it is simply a story you keep playing out in your perception.

When I started hanging around the Sum 41 community, it certainly was not attraction that led me there. Sum 41 had never been on my radar and I would not have gone there on my own based on attraction. I was directed there by my guides and Deryck was an assignment I was given. I groaned to my guides and was not pleased about it but I diligently did the work they were asking me to do until I could go no further and now I have been released from that assignment. In a dream I saw it as giving up a little blonde boy for adoption. I took this as a green light to go in a new direction and let it go. There has been such relief in the letting go because I was always fishing for deep water fish in what turned out to be a toilet. The main thing my fishing venture turned up was shit....aside from the personal growth I achieved from the experience. And, perhaps, that was really all it was about.

Now let's give contrast. I have done a lot of work on my inner self and learning to love me completely. When I stumbled upon Laura Jane Grace, there was an instantaneous attraction. The Sum 41 fans call Sum 41 "punk" but they are so not punk. And even them being called "pop punk" is a stretch. Deryck will tell you that they are a rock band and this is more true, but the punk label persists.  So when I heard Laura Jane Grace's band, Against Me! for the first time, I got really excited because this was REAL punk. This is what you think of when you think of punk. It was raw and very real. After listening to the music, I was intrigued and wanted to learn more which is when I started watching interviews. It was then that I fell absolutely in love with this woman. I am talking about real love with romantic feelings to boot. But the interesting observation I made about what I was feeling is this:

She is SO much like me!

It was uncanny discovering all of these similarities about us like what we stand for, our character, our fears and the things we value. She has so much depth, is open, raw and real. She is willing to speak openly about herself and her life to help others. She isn't afraid to have opinions about world issues and to speak out about them. And when I learned of our mutual love for coffee, I considered proposing marriage to her then and there. Nevermind that I am already married. We can work something out. LOL

It dawned on me that by falling head over heels in love with Laura Jane, I had actually fallen madly in love with me and that is a really beautiful thing to be able to come to a point on your journey where you realize the enormous growth and progress you have made.

What are your attractions (be it them to you or you to them) trying to teach you about yourself?