Turning Points and New Directions

First, I need to say...

Fuck you, Instagram, and all of your censorship. Fuck you for trying to say that beautifully and artistically photographed nudity is somehow obscene and/or pornography. Fuck you for saying that my DREAM was bullying because abortion was mentioned. I guess I will stop using your platform and keep my art and my words here on my blog.

This is the photo they deleted today and I was threatened over:

Willy Ronis (French, 1910-2009). Le Nu Provençal, 1949

This is a photo I have had on my phone for ages because it is so beautiful, but I know social media can't handle nipples because they are just so fucking scary:

Odalisque III, New York, 1943 by Horst P. Horst

Breastfeeding pictures will surely be taken down too because, omg, breastfeeding is so unnatural, right? Oh wait, that is what breasts were designed for.

"Mother and Child" by Anne Brigman, 1925

Now that I have that off my chest, breast, nipple....

Let's talk about when shit blows up in our faces. 

You are doing your thing. You know you aren't perfect but you think you are doing okay and shit goes horribly wrong. Maybe you failed a class, maybe you lose your job, and maybe what was supposed to be a box office smash became a box office flop. Any of these situations can be hard to take. Anytime we suffer a blow that knocks us down and makes us question what we are doing and why we are doing it can take a little more time to get back up off the floor and regain our vision in order to keep going.

It is okay to just lay there for a while and scream, "Fuuuuuck!!! That really hurt!" 

But while you lay there trying to get your breath back, consider a few things.

Why did this happen? What is the lesson in it? How did we contribute in manifesting it?

Maybe your project blew up in your face to point you in a new direction. Maybe your life is being dismantled piece by piece so that you can rebuild it. You can now go from being who the world told you to be to being who you always wanted to be but never had a chance to. Maybe it gives you the opportunity to become someone you never knew was hiding inside of you.

What about all the time and work you have invested in this direction you have been going?

One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is letting go. There is so much letting go we have to do if we are going to embody the highest version of ourselves and head the direction we are being guided to by invisible hands from the other side.

I spent four motherfucking years on Deryck Whibley. I invested a lot of time in a direction that the only payment I got out of it was what I learned about myself. I admit there are some days I just feel bitter about the four years I put in there. He never grew...but I did and if I can remember that, it doesn't feel like four years wasted. When I can see the lessons, the tools and skills I gained during my time trying, I understand none of that time was a waste.

So while you are still on the floor licking your wounds, try to see and understand all you have gained in order to make letting go easier.

But now you are thinking, "Where do I go now? What am I supposed to be doing?"

The Universe will be like, "Yo, I'm glad you asked." 

If you pay attention to the signs, syncs and messages coming in, you will be able to follow those breadcrumbs. Sometimes it will seem more like weird rabbit holes, but keep following that bunny. We are all always being guided all the time. We simply don't always recognize the messages. Most people write them off as "coincidences" and those people will miss the guidance being given. 

In order to become the best version of ourselves we can be, we need to start doing more of what lights us up and sets our hearts on fire. 

Ask yourself, "What do I love doing? What excites me?"

I will tell you that at the beginning of this journey, I had no fucking clue what I loved doing. I had to embark on a journey of self discovery to figure out who the fuck I was and what it is I love doing. It is pretty obvious now what I love and who I am now, but the person I am today is a completely different person. The person I was died along the way. I had to let go of all I thought I was to become the person that was trying to be born within me. I have had some seriously difficult moments along the way that left me a crying mess and feeling like I wasn't sure I could go on....and yet somehow I did.

I still have moments of, "Where the fuck is this leading?!" I had one of those moments very recently. The truth is, I have no idea where it is all leading. I have some guesses and can speculate but I may not know for sure what it looks like until I get there. Letting go of expectations is hard... especially for someone with a lot of Virgo in their chart like me because they are control freaks...but I am getting better at it with practice.

Lastly, acceptance for what is is key to being like water and flowing. When we are in resistance, we try to hold on and keep going in the direction that is no longer working. Acceptance means we know the crash is going to happen. We see ourselves going into the turn, losing control of the motorcycle and instead of holding onto the bike, we simply let go and flow away from the bike that would have ended us had we held onto it. 

And if you are still on the floor after all of that, roll over, look at the stars and take my hand because I'm right beside you. I will tell you bad jokes until it doesn't hurt as much.

I love you.