Friday, January 15, 2016

I Am Not From this Solar System, Star Beings, Aliens

Time to get my freak on. lol

Let's talk aliens.

Early on in my spiritual journey...

I talk like I have been doing this so long but it only really started March 24, 2011 when my dog, Phoenix, died. I haven't been on this crash course all that long, but sometimes it feels like a million years ago. That is because it probably was millions of years ago that I came to this planet. Grab your popcorn because mama is going to tell you a bedtime story. lol

When I was trying to discover what persona Erik had come to me as in a powerful visitation, I won a reading from psychic medium Melissa Hevenor. Sadly she is battling for her life from the same insidious monster that took some great famous men recently...cancer. She is still doing readings if you think you have a question you want to ask. Melissa's reading for me, in retrospect, is pure gold because I didn't realize then the path it would help point me towards.

Here is her email reading for me:

Dear Oktobre,

Thank you for the honor of reading for you. 

1) Erik's past life name was Baruch, which means blessed inn Hebrew. I actually didn't know it was a name when I first heard it from my guide, but indeed it is! And, sometimes, Baruch
in English can be Bruce. I can also feel from the vibration that his spirit is highly evolved and angelic. I do think that you and he were healers, during the Atlantis era. In fact, your energy vibrates in tune with that of an Atlantis goddess. If. You are unfamiliar with Atlantis, look into it a little bit because I think you would resonate with the understandings of the time frame. 

2) in terms of distinguishing between messages from your guides, it is important to connect with them whenever possible in the same area of your house and ask for your main guide that you have contact with, to give you a physical sign on your body so that you know when you get messages that they are specifically from that guide. Ffor instance, my guide Robin, is always on m y left side, and I feel her energy whenever I am channeling psychic or mediumship information as a way to validate that the information is coming from a divine source, once you have chosen a special place to connect, regularly, in the house, your energy and your guide will know that you are there specifically to connect with them. Over time, you will become familiar with the repetitive physical indications rom your guide, and be able to distinguish messages regularly wherever you are. If you do find that you don't feel a physical confirmation,you can always  specify where you want your guide to  let you know when a message is from them, such as asking them to brush your cheek or feel tingling sensation on your head, but, at first, if all is good just ask for indication and see what they give you. sometimes, you have to  try for about a week before knowing for sure.
It is not uncommon for reincarnates that lived during Atlantis such as yourself,to sing or have musical talent. Please, honey, try to work on eliminating your fear for singing in public, because it is part of your spiritual path to share your gifts as it is through the vibrations that generate from your voice, that the world can receive healing. Try to begin making videos on YouTube, where you can sing on your own, but still share it with others. 

3) I'm sorry to bring this up again, but it's very important. You have to sing. Also, I see you writing something that's very important. Not exactly about your life, but stories that are related to some of your own experiences that are also a part of helping others to heal. You have so much creative energy as well as intuition and healing. It is important that you share yourself, energetically, through creative projects related to the music and writing. And, I definitely see you getting several tattoos in the future. One is related to your guide and another that has musical notes involved:) I look forward to watching your YouTube videos!:)

It means a great deal to me what you said about my music video. It was not so much to share my singing but to share lyrics as a person who is passionate for music, but whose talents gravitate more towards writing than singing. Regardless, your words touched me deeply. Please let me know that you received this e-mail. Love , light and blessings Melissa
 
When Melissa said I had "goddess" energy, I interpreted that as "star being". I think a lot of our so called gods, goddesses and angels are simply star beings, aka Aliens.

I started researching different groups of aliens to try to sort out which group I might resonate with. There are tons of lists and traits and I find them mostly ridiculous and not helpful at all. I have gotten the message over and over from intuitives and my dreams that I am meant to be a healer, so for a little while I tried very hard to access the akashic records via my dreams. I asked my guides one night to please show me a life that could help me awaken the abilities I have been shown lay dormant inside me.

That night I went to sleep and they showed me a single word written on paper: HALCIONE



It was spelled exactly like that and I went to the internet to understand its meaning. Human me thought they were talking about an immigrant ship which took immigrants from the UK to New Zealand. I scoured the existing passenger lists to see if any of the names jumped out at me and only one resonated....Sarah J. Friend. She is listed as a cook and was 23. The name Sarah has always stirred something in me and I have never known why. I still don't know why. lol The number 23 is the number I associate with River. He died when he was 23 and was born August 23rd, so when I see that number, I think of him. She was a cook which is a paternal family name. But Sarah J. Friend and the ship she was a passenger on was a dead end.

The spelling "Halcione" I believe is a Greek variation of Halcyon. I looked up the definition:
adjective

1. calm; peaceful; tranquil:
halcyon weather.
2. rich; wealthy; prosperous:
halcyon times of peace.
3. happy; joyful; carefree:
halcyon days of youth.
4. of or relating to the halcyon or kingfisher.
noun
5. a mythical bird, usually identified with the kingfisher, said to breed about the time of the winter solstice in a nest floating on the sea, and to have the power of charming winds and waves into calmness.
6. any of various kingfishers, especially of the genus Halcyon.
7. (initial capital letter) Classical Mythology. Alcyone (def 2).

Although birds are powerful messengers for me in my life, I didn't think this word was about a bird. I skipped down to number 7 and searched further:

Alcyone
noun
1. a third-magnitude star in the constellation Taurus: brightest star in the Pleiades.
2. Also, Halcyon, Halcyone. Classical Mythology. a daughter of Aeolus who, with her husband, Ceyx, was transformed into a kingfisher.

I researched both the Greek Goddess and the central sun in the Pleiades star system. While the tragic love story was compelling, I didn't sense this was the direction I needed to go. Seven Sisters has been a name that has come up in my life over and over. A musician I was drawn to, Dan Reed, has a song on an early album called "Seven Sisters Road". The man I would eventually marry started a fan website called Seven Sisters Road. It was only when my husband bought his new Subaru Crosstrek and he was telling me that the emblem was of the seven sisters but only depicted 6 stars because only 6 can be seen with the naked eye that it all kind of clicked and I KNEW that I was being pointed to the Pleiades.

In another reading by Janine Regan Sinclair, she saw Erik and I as star beings and we were healers. Sound familiar? So I connected the dots and deduced that I come from the Pleiades which is where my soul resonates most with.

But it didn't stop there. I had a good friend stop everything she was doing and call me. She was in the middle of moving and she stopped in her moving truck to call me and tell me about the vision she just saw. She said she saw my star being body and I was lying in stasis and we were being looked after by greys. She said my body had blue skin. There was more than me present who were in stasis. The thing is, what she meant was that this was my OTHER body...currently. The body I am in now is simply an avatar and my consciousness is being projected into it. I couldn't say for sure when I started having human lives, but sometime after Atlantis and Egypt, a group of us...giants...star beings went into stasis and our bodies where taken underground.

When I talked to Shannon Johnson about being in stasis during a session, she elaborated on what they were showing her. She told me that several groups/races from the Pleiades had volunteers step forward to be put into stasis to help assist the planet in raising and holding the vibrations of the planet. She saw it as our sleeping bodies sending out a pulse to the planet. She said there were 3 from my group who were together in stasis and that other groups were in other locations around the world. I believe fully that these bodies are being kept underground. I had a dream which I believe was showing where my Pleiadian body sleeps. Dolores Cannon's books provide regressions from people who recall information that seems to confirm that all of this is true.
 

December 8, 2015 Let me recall what I remember best. I was back as a nanny at a house. I see a little boy who doesn't belong. He is hiding out in the house. He doesn't want to go back to his people. I see a group of people outside the window and I have this feeling the father is abusive. I was just going to let him stay longer but one of the kids saw him and I knew they would tell someone that he was there. I ask him if he would like to live with me. In the dream I am single and have no kids. I thought I could probably call social services and tell them he was abused and file to be his foster parent. The boy is elated and he hugs me. 
 
Later there is some discussion about where I will sleep. Thomas is asking and his dad, Kerry, is nearby. I told him that I would figure it out. We get in a car the three of us and start driving. I see a mountain with snow on top but it isn't quite as big as other mountains I have seen. I mention that I didn't remember that there were mountains where they lived. I said it was pretty but relatively small. I am wondering if anyone ever hikes the mountain but I see no trails. We get around to the other side and I get excited because I saw an entrance and you can go inside and I mentioned how I wanted to go inside. I started to wake there.

Well shortly after there was a blog post about aliens on Channeling Erik and I clicked on the link even though I rarely ever read that blog anymore. Erik said there was an alien base in a mountain in France, so I had a look to see if any of the mountains that came up reminded me of the one from my dream. I found one and will include the article HERE.

 
"Some French and international websites devoted to the apocalypse claim that the mountain of Bugarach is a sacred place that will protect them from the end of the world. Some even believe that, on doomsday, they will be spirited away by a group of aliens who live under the mountain. The date in question is when a 5,125-year cycle in the Mayan calendar supposedly comes to a close."

I was STUNNED when I read that little blurb. It was such a huge confirmation to me that everything which I was thinking and feeling about this is correct.

In one of the earliest dreams I had that felt really meaningful, I dreamed I was a vampire. It might sound funny, but if you are familiar with Anne Rice, then you will also be familiar with the story of the Queen of the Damned. Akasha and her husband sit stone-like as if asleep but all the while listening to the thoughts and prayers of humans. And one day, the brat prince Lestat awakens Akasha with his rock music. If you think about it, being in stasis, not dead and part of your consciousness out wandering about living lives sounds a lot like "the living dead" or a vampire, so the reference is very relevant to unraveling the story that is hidden in the symbolism.

When my daughter was about 4, I had gone to bed early as I wasn't feeling well. When she came in the bedroom to go to sleep with me, I heard her exclaim to her father, "I see a person!" He is a non-believer so didn't pursue it. In the morning I asked her about the person she saw. Apparently it was a female with yellow long hair, purple skin and a green dress. The street light glows a pinkish orange which could make blue skin appear purple. This person was watching me. Was this person star family? I believe it was.

I had another dream which I believe was me revisiting my frozen body.

April 9, 2015 This dream I just had I was going back to an old house I had lived in. It feels cold. There is bread left behind on a shelf. A lot of it. I remember a violet purple and white checkered table cloth and there is a matching dress to the table cloth. I see a living room and it has built in seating...but it is hard concrete seating and needs cushions. It is small but cozy and I wonder why I left. Some of my pets have followed me inside. I am going to have to shoo them out before I leave. The house is empty.

I believe this dream is a memory of how I and some of my people came to be here:

September 3, 2015 The dream jumps and I see these kind of white iridescent rings. They shimmer a kind of see through rainbow and they are spaced an equal distance apart. I am curious. It feels like I am in a building. I walk through this ring and I am sucked through and I am traveling at a fast speed. I had the thought "oh I remember this. This is a worm hole" and it is taking me around almost like a roller coaster ride. I am moving through solid objects. I am passing through an arcade and I think the destination might be inside this arcade game, but it is not and I go through the game. I eventually wind up in an area that looks like my reality but some people are talking about something that happened and speaking of it as a fairy-tale...like my story from where I came from was a fairy-tale story in this one. I think I said something to the people that it was no fairy-tale and they were speaking about me. I was going to try to leave but now it is like I am two people with a tether....string...connecting us and there is a big ball on the end. We decide we need to go back to where we came from but the ball gets tangled and stuck when we throw it. I am working at trying to untangle us. It was like the string was tangled on a roller coaster rail. I finally got it enough and halved the string so there wasn't as much to get tangled and I threw the ball through the wormhole ring. We started to move but it was weak and not fast enough to take us out. We were stuck there. There was something about how the wormhole was stronger at certain times so we would have to wait until it had grown stronger again. We were stuck there until then in this alternate world that looked like ours but wasn't. The people were excited and gathered around us and offered to take us in. They were excited to have real live fairy-tale characters among them. We were a curiosity. I remember walking along with the group of people and looking to the right and seeing what looked like a gorilla like creature but it had tall antlers coming from its head. It was glowing white but looked to be a statue. I don't remember anything else.

This dream I believe is telling me that I am a star being even though I had been living my life assuming I was human like everyone else. I think The ring is about my dormant healing abilities and in the dream I want to keep them hidden. I am resisting giving to the people something that could help them all. I can't even begin to know what the type of healing it is that I possess other than what I have seen in my dreams where massive amounts of energy comes from my hands and sometimes pulsing out from my heart chakra.

November 25, 2014 Where to start....hmmm....

What I remember first was missing the school bus. I was getting ready and was too slow. I see the bus below from a second story window and figure I will have to be given a ride by someone or just stay home. Either way, I didn't feel concerned. At one point I was out front with either siblings or other people who lived in the house. I remember seeing helicopters overhead...like 3 of them and I wasn't sure what they were doing. Some men appeared on our front sidewalk and told us we should go inside and we should try to call our parents and get them to come home and stay inside for a while. I remember looking at my phone and trying to use it, but it wasn't working. There was no signal and all I saw on the screen was fuzz. I asked them what was going on but they wouldn't answer. They showed me a piece of paper and asked if anyone had given us one of these. I said no, even though apparently that wasn't true, because after they left, we took our piece of paper out back and was trying to read it. Someone held it up and shined a light on it. When they did this, the English writing went away and alien vertical writing appeared and glowed along with some shapes. It seemed like the men were coming back so we took the paper inside and hid it. The concern we had about radiation or chemical warfare went away because we now knew this was about aliens.

I seem to recall having gone to my room where everything appeared to be white. It feels like I got dressed into something and wrapped up in a blanket. I was trying to rest. Later, I came out of my room and was with others down stairs. There was a couple...young guy and girl and I remember saying something to the guy and he understood what I just said. I was surprised because I had totally forgotten that he was deaf and he loved this...that I treated him like anyone else. He was so happy and the girl mentioned this. I gave him a hug and he started rapping. lol I was surprised someone who couldn't hear could rap so well. I think I started to stumble/fall but I changed it and turned it into acrobatics. In the process, I had grabbed a chair and was using it in my tumble but I didn't stop. I just kept going. It felt like a dance and I brought the guy into my dance with me. He loved it and at the end I gave him a long and meaningful hug. I was into him and him into me at that point.

For some reason I go to the front door. I think there are people trying to come in. I dart off into a side room/closet and hope they don't notice me when they come in and then while the people were coming in the front door and going past, I suddenly realize there is someone in the closet with me. He is pale...almost white with foam coming out of the right side of his head. I asked him if he was one of the people they were looking for...one of the aliens. I wasn't scared. I was super calm and just talking to him. I can't remember what he said but I have a knowing that they had been coming here and infiltrating society for a while and specifically, my household. I wasn't sure who else of the staff and others who lived there were one of them. I think I was a member of a wealthy family.

I seem to recall some sort of test where you rubbed your finger across the ice. If it turned up red, you were a real human. If is was clear, you were one of them. People were turning up as them that I was surprised about. I think I ran my finger over the ice and it was clear. The people who had come into the house were looking for something specific. I see a ring on the right ring finger of a girl's hand...my hand at some point. At times I viewed from outside and then at times I was the girl. This ring was special and was what they were looking for. They called it some sort of crystal and I was shown what it could do. I saw an oval stone in iridescent colors be held up to the forehead of one of the aliens and it helped to heal him. Without it, they used and depleted much of their own energy to help each other. I still didn't want to let my ring go and I found a shell with mother of pearl on the inside and suggested they see if this was what they were looking for.

I think I woke up about there. There was likely more details that I forgot, but that is the bulk of what I remember.


When I look back at my life and the things I was attracted to, it was all there trying to show me what I had forgotten. I fell in love with TV shows like the short running The Phoenix where the main character had a hawk friend he communicated with and he was on a mission to find his partner. Then there were movies like Escape From Witch Mountain where Tony and Tia were siblings who got stranded on Earth when their ship crashed. They forgot they weren't from Earth because their own world looked similar. They had abilities like telepathy and communication with animals that were unlike the humans around them. I loved Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. I loved all things having to do with witches, ghosts and vampires. I loved the things many people feared.

So what am I supposed to do with all of this knowledge about my origins? I have no idea, but I suspect one day when I leave this physical body behind, I will return to my Pleiadian body and sleeping giants will awake. Maybe I will get to finally go home to my own solar system.

What are your dreams trying to show you? What attractions did you have as a child which were trying to show you what you forgot when you stepped into a physical body and developed amnesia? Will you delve into your own story so you can remember who you really are?

Edgar Cayce says there was a first wave of souls that came here to be the first to incarnate into the physical. It was a disaster and the first souls who came in forgot their divinity. They forgot who they really were and became stuck. Another wave of souls came in with the intention of helping the first wave souls remember, but in doing so, many of the second wave forgot who they were too and have been working ever since to try to remember so that they can help the rest.

Right now is the time to wake up and remember who you really are. In the end, yes, we are all an aspect of God but you need to pick up the pieces of yourself which the clues from your life are trying to point you to and you are ignoring. Your interests are trying ever so hard to remind you of who you are and have been. Your dreams are screaming "Remember me!" and yet you ignore them and brush them off as nothing more than subconscious meanderings about what you experienced that day.
Dreams have layers and multiple meanings and the sooner you understand that, the sooner you can put the pieces together of your own puzzle to start remembering who you really are.

Do you hear that? It is the sound of the alarm clock telling you it is time to wake up.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Dreams, Mending the Tapestry, Past Life Issues, Soul Family, Walk-ins

It is funny how new information comes to you while you are typing something out and you don't even get it until later while discussing a similar topic with a friend. It is like the flood gates are suddenly open and I am like, "Shit I gotta write that down because it feels important."

I think I will go back to the the beginning of my crazy journey when I discovered River Phoenix was one of my guides. I was questioning it all and was shown a vision. I sent this email to Elisa Medhus at Channeling Erik after it happened:


May 28, 2013 After learning that River Phoenix was my primary guide, I struggled with the "why" of it all. I know I shouldn't question and should just accept, but I couldn't help wondering. It was all very perplexing to me. And while I was thinking about it all, I was shown an image. The love we have for those on the other side and theirs for us was shown as a golden light thread that was sewing the fabric of our two worlds together. I was given the knowledge that we are building a bridge and bringing our worlds closer together. After I saw this first image, a scene from the movie Brave popped into my head where Merida had to sew the rip in the tapestry to save her mom. During my recent reading with Jamie and Erik, they confirmed that River and I have shared many lives together. The one past life they spoke of, they saw me and River as Native Americans sewing pelts or something together. :D  Coincidence? lol Erik says there are no coincidences.

But here is the thing...I only got it half right. Yes, we are building a bridge between the two worlds but why they were showing me the tapestry was to show me that me and my team, aka soul family, are back here to repair the damage we did to the tapestry and try to bring us all together again in unity and harmony. I had two different people come to me at different times and tell me they had dreams about me and were told to tell me to do past life work. Practically every psychic and medium has given me the same message...do past life work. Two different people privately messaged me about a CD set for self regression for doing past life work. I bought the CD set but do you think I actually used it? lol No, not at all. I have listened to it but not really given it an honest try. I then had a mini reading with my amazing and gifted friend, Shannon Johnson. I have posted it previously and talked about the bee part of the reading. But in this blog I will talk about how she saw a tapestry and bringing the threads together and repairing it. I found her description uncanny considering my own vision I had seen. She specifically mentioned there was past life stuff that needed to be worked on. She said we had to work together and that is key in all of this soul group stuff with people finding each other and coming back together.


Here are some clips from the movie Brave in case you don't have a young child at home and have it readily available for you viewing:





I haven't done the past life work but I have done a lot of reading about past life regression through Dolores Cannon, Brian Weiss, and Michael Newton. I highly recommend all three. Dolores is kind of best for those who are already on a spiritual path because you kind of need a mind wide open to be able to wrap your head around some of the information she gives in her many amazing books. What did start happening in dreams is that I started dreaming about my past lives. My memories were bleeding through in my dreams. Based on my dreams, I have had a lot of past lives as a male. There was one dream where I was a little boy dying from a lung thing.

October 7, 2015 I was dreaming about being terminally ill. Some lung thing. I remember coughing a lot. There was some lawyer hanging around who was one of those class action lawyers and was looking to drum up business. Someone got really angry and told him to go away. I remember hearing someone say "Just let the boy die alone. Let the boy go with god." And I was coughing and thinking that I thought I would have more time than I did.

The class action lawyer was a clue. It was telling me that what I had affected a lot of people. Shannon picked up during a session that I might have had a short life and died of the plague. I mentioned my dream to her. The plague wiped out a lot of people. Lung issues are heart chakra related and was an illness likely presenting due to a core wound that happened long before which I was carrying with me from lifetime to lifetime.

This is part of a dream where some of the clues of my past lives were thrown at me:

November 30, 2014
An earlier dream had to do with a house. It felt like it had been moved out of because it felt pretty empty. I see my husband and we start having a discussion about the house and it seems that he had been living in the master suite but I had come in saying that I was taking it over and I start moving my stuff in. I said he could have my old room which was out in the open with no doors or walls. I told him I had had to live like that and now it was his turn. There is a giant horse statue in the corner that he left behind but I liked it because it reminded me of Erik. My husband goes over to the statue and pushes it over. I was pissed and asked him why he did that. He is just kind of being a dick and then he goes out and comes back with all this stuff. I am like, what is this stuff? And he is throwing it at me. Apparently it was mine but he had been withholding it. There were two crowns with beautiful stones. There were rings and hats and silks and satins. I think I tried on a hat and looked in the mirror and remember thinking "I remember this hat. I haven't seen it for a long time." I also remember seeing a giant book shelf in the middle of the room and on it was lots of those giant picture story books. The books I could see were about eastern India. I thought to myself that I could read those to Inara. I don't remember much else about the dream. I think there was more but i can't remember specifics. 

What I have come to understand is that all the characters who are the husband, father and uncle are representing the same person. They are all my primary soul mate that I refer to as my "magnet" and "opposite". What I see from this dream is that in my last life I had to live out in the open with no privacy and in the public eye. I was likely some famous public figure but I couldn't tell you who I was, only that I had been famous and I was saying a giant "Fuck you, asshole! It is your turn to be out in the public with no privacy...no walls, no doors!" And that is exactly what happened. My magnet/opposite primary is a famous person and I am a "nobody" and I get to choose my level of privacy. I don't have to worry about paparazzi following me around in my most intimate moments. I think the large books about India was telling me that there is a story about a lifetime there I still need to explore. I have always been drawn to the culture of India. I love the Hindu gods and goddesses. My husband is half eastern Indian and still has many relatives in India. Someday I would love to take my daughter there to meet that part of her family.

October 30, 2014 Holy shit what was that???? I was dreaming that I was reunited with my sister and father. They were dark skinned. She had black, straight, bobbed hair and was pretty and small. I hugged her when I saw her and she took me around a wood folding divider/screen and there was this bald guy sitting at the table and I knew he was my father. I got really emotional as I hadn't seen him for a long time. It felt like we had been estranged. I hugged him and just sobbed and sobbed because I was so happy to see him. I could see by his plate there was a piece of paper with words written on it that had been torn up. I think he was going to send me a letter first but decided to come himself. There was something mentioned about having the dinner there at the house so there wouldn't be a food conflict as might have been the case but she said that we could try a restaurant another time and I agreed that would be fine. I think I heard something about Islam. It was so emotional but I don't know who I was or actually even who they were. I seemed to recognize them in the dream though, considering my reaction.

THIS is the Holy Grail of dreams for me because it goes back to a life where my core issues stem from. Since that dream, I have had many, many other dreams that have helped me piece it all together. I only recently have made this giant breakthrough. I mean it was a breakthrough of epic proportions.

Drum roll...

In that life I was male. I was taken in by my Uncle but he was very much like my father to me. He had children of his own and raised me with them. There was a boy cousin who was like a brother to me. In dreams he consistently shows up as characters who are my brother and cousin for this reason. He is who my guides refer to as my "mirror" and "alike".  Based on the above dream, I believe we were a Middle Eastern family. Back then and in that culture, cousins could marry cousins. It wasn't taboo. I was in love with my cousin and we wanted to be together but we were both male. Homosexuality was very much taboo and probably still not very accepted there. My Uncle found out about us and I was cast out, cut off and forbidden from ever seeing my cousin again. In an instant I was cut off from the only father I ever knew and the love of my life. I don't believe I ever saw them again. I think the dream of making amends was actually happening on the other side and not a memory of what really happened. I think I was allowed to see it so I could address my core issues which cause my health problems.

In this current life I have been called an "ice queen" and told I have no feelings. I have been hard, bitter and angry. I thought it was all due to current life issues, but that is not the case. Perhaps some of it stems from this life but the core blocks were put in place in my life as a male who loved another male in a way that society and my Uncle didn't find acceptable. I will be honest, I have a lot of baggage around matters of sex. I have spent years thinking I was "dirty" and "bad" for having sex. The shame I felt in this life for participating in sex carried over from that life where my sexual desires were considered sinful, forbidden and shameful. It has haunted me through my lives, lives where I was a forced sex slave and lives where I was drugged and forced to make porn. My anger and bitterness followed me through time which aided me in being the monster I probably was when I was a Nazi General. All of this information has come to me by way of dreams.

Sadly, my uncle/father is still doing what he did all those years ago. He is still maintaining his silence and not really talking to me and, funny enough, it still hurts like hell. I just want him to let me in. Please let me in. I forgive you for what you did, but please let me in so we can be family again. What I find really interesting is knowing that he has had a life where his father didn't want to speak to him or have anything to do with him. Did he choose that life so that he could relate to the wound he inflicted so long ago? I would guess that is quite likely the case.

My magnet primary soul mate is not the only one who inflicted wounds that need to be mended. I believe a dream showed me that my mirror primary soul mate was also my child and I horribly abused him because of all the anger and bitterness I carried with me. I have to own up to whatever it is I did to him. Maybe when he and I get a chance to sit down and share our dreams, he will hold pieces of the puzzle so I can see where I need to apologize and make up for the horrible parent I clearly was to him. I want us all to heal the wounds of the past. I want to heal the wounds I inflicted and the ones that were inflicted upon me. I sincerely want to end the cycle of pain and division. I long for unity and harmony for my soul family. Which brings me back to the topic of walk-ins.

As the whole world knows, David Bowie left the physical world recently. I posted the below on Facebook:

January 11, 2016 People are saddened and shocked by the news of David's passing and all I can think is "yep, another great one stepping back in to a newer model vehicle to be part of the shift." Given everything I have experienced and learned in the past few years, these great people who appear to be leaving us are simply going into a revolving door. Their faces may change but the essence of who they are will carry on in new bodies. And I am not talking about reincarnating into a baby. No. They will step into bodies already fully grown and developed which are simply part of the same soul. The soul is massive and the little tiny bit that animates these bodies is but a drop. Would it not stand to reason that when an aspect leaves such as David, that they can then return and merge with an aspect of themselves? I know this happens all the time as i have been witnessing it up close and personal. I do not feel sadness. I simply want to say, welcome to your new ride, David, and enjoy your next adventures because it is about to get really exciting. You can learn a little about walk-ins in my latest blog post.

These were comments I made when trying to explain the enormity of the soul:

So if we think of a soul and view it as the shape of a human body, the arms and legs could be seen as soul streams each going off in their own direction and having their own experiences. But then you have the fingers and toes which branch off again. The toes and fingers have all of their own sets of lives. Imagine fingers with finger puppets. So say that the index finger lost its puppet and the middle finger, goes dude, I have room in my ride, hop in! Now imagine the index finger and middle finger crossing so that they can both get the puppet back on their fingers. Same thing. Both fingers are part of the same being even though they have had different sets of lives and experiences up to that point. And maybe eventually as the vibrations will raise of the planet, more people will die off. It will look like less people when in reality they are all just jumping into a bus with other aspects of themselves. Eventually the two hands will come together and create magic....create balance and unity. Yin and yang will meet and marry.

It was in conversation today about some of this that I suddenly had an epiphany and realized my reply had more meaning than I realized. I had a "Holy shit" moment. Here is a dream I had long ago that kind of kicked off the whole walk-in adventure only it would take me until right before my magnet primary walked in for me to figure out its true meaning.

March 28, 1996 I only remember bits and pieces of the second dream. Something to do with someone I loved. I can’t remember who HE was in the dream. He was dying, I think. He didn’t look or act sick, but I knew he would not be here long. I remember kissing him. The scene changed and I was in some room with some other girl. This small silver orb appeared and was floating around the room. I was rather frightened of this thing and was sure it was a tiny UFO from outer space. It started doing something strange against the wall near the ceiling. It was going in a circular motion and creating a hole/crater. As it got deeper into the thick wall, I caught it but it was so fragile that the orb fell apart as I opened my hands to look more closely at it. Neither the other girl nor I could tell what it was exactly. Then at some point another tiny silver sphere/orb appeared. It continued where the other left off and soon was through the wall. What I came to discover later was that the orb contained the spirit of the man I loved who had died. He had to make the hole in the wall because it was a way out from another dimension. It was a doorway for him to re-enter this dimension. I was happy to see him and that is all I remember about the dream.

There were two orbs and I feel that is significant as we are seeing more and more soul merges and soul braids. It is so obvious to me now what this dream was telling me. I was a muggle when I had the dream, so I find some of the terms I used rather surprisingly accurate.

Let's go back to that "ah ha" moment from above. The line that jumps out at me is this one: 

Eventually the two hands will come together and create magic....create balance and unity. Yin and yang will meet and marry.




I was talking to my friend, Ashley from In My Sacred Space and I was mentioning how my mirror primary and I are both represented by white which is masculine on a yin/yang symbol. My magnet primary and his partner I believe to be black which is feminine. I know for sure he is as my guides repeat his color as black over and over. So going back to the description of soul taking the shape of a human body, my mirror and I would be two fingers side by side on the same hand. We would be on the right side as right is considered to be masculine. My magnet and his partner are two fingers on the left hand. Yep, that's right. I am saying that my soul family and I are essentially part of the same soul. When you think of "God" as the One, we could see God as a human shape but then there are all these smaller bits branching off getting smaller and smaller exactly like fractals. You would see all of the human shaped fractals branching out
.


I get these images of a child playing with finger puppets on both hands and she is playing out all these dramas with them. But now is the time where the two sides are meant to meet and make peace. Right now is the time we are meant to be mending past life wounds. It is a time for forgiveness. But in order to get to that place of harmony and unity, we first have to clearly see our errors. We have to clearly see where our gaping wounds exist. Half of the battle is just understanding what the core issues are and where they stem from. From there, the other battle is letting go of the hurt, the pain, the anger. We have to say we are so sorry for what we have done when we have harmed another and do what we can to make up for it. We have to come together and be the loving family we were always meant to be.

This doesn't apply to just me and my group, it applies to every single soul incarnated at this time. We have been given this amazing opportunity to truly make a difference for the planet by healing ourselves and our closest soul connections. How much do you love Gaia and want to help our mother? She needs us right now and this is what she is asking us to do first. When we come into personal balance and harmony, we have the power to heal the whole planet. It really is just that enormous and important to do the work your guides are asking of you. And when I say "your guides", I really mean it is just part of you over there pushing you forward to do the inner work you need to do. But you can't do it alone. Yes, there is inner work that only we can do, but there is also this aspect of teamwork that a lamp is being shone on. We have to be a team and work together, realize our connections or it all fails.

Ancient native tribes knew that it took unity for the whole tribe to succeed from year to year. Tribes that have been pretty much untouched by modern man thrive harmoniously. Our flawed ways of cutting ourselves off from the whole and creating separateness has to end. We are like those seagulls in Finding Nemo shouting "Mine! Mine! Mine!" collecting more pointless shit, watching our fellow man suffer in the streets, killing each other in wars with dirty bombs. Greed and separateness fuels our modern society and we are trying to push our modern society on so-called third world countries. We need to step back and clean up our own shit before we try to "help" others by pushing our fucked up western values of consumerism and selfishness on them. We have to take care of our elderly and not just shove them off out of sight somewhere. We need to take care of each other and give a fuck. We have to wake the fuck up now and make a choice to understand what really matters in this world if we want to save it.



The Hopi have what is called "Prophecy Rock" or "Hopi Rock" in Arizona. Basically the images show us that humanity has big choice to make. The path of greed leads to extinction for mankind and the path of unity and love is long and fruitful.

What will you personally choose?


I choose the path of unity, healing and love.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

All the Answers You Seek are Within You

Persephone's Return by Kinuko Y. Craft
In light of recent events in my life, I want to touch upon the subject of information we are getting to help guide us on our journey and how sometimes we get shit wrong. I have talked about this before but I feel a need to talk about it again.

I have been on this weird and crazy journey of discovery and knowledge. I often dream I have two puzzles I am putting together and sometimes the pieces get mixed up and make it confusing. Sometimes pieces make it in there that are part of neither puzzle and need to just be thrown out.

At the beginning of all of this I had this sense that everyone else knew more than me and had abilities I didn't have which caused me to seek outside of myself for my answers. I sought psychics, friends, mediums, etc. I collected all of the bread crumbs that I acquired along the way and used it all to help lead me to the next bread crumb. I had my own source of information coming in but I didn't trust myself. I didn't understand then how I best received my information. We are all different in how we receive information and for me where most of my information comes to me is in dreams. When I was regularly meditating, I also received images, names, words, etc. Sometimes valuable information would come to me in a half-awake state. And all the signs and syncs are also great for guiding me on this path.

It was when my primary soul mate came visiting me that I went on a desperate search for answers and not all of the information and conclusions I came to were correct. There is a lot of shit I have gotten wrong...things I thought to be true that aren't. But there have been a lot of things that I was told by psychics and mediums that were completely wrong and threw me off getting to my truths faster. I trusted them more than I did me and it threw several puzzle pieces in the mix that didn't belong. I blame no one for the erroneous information because I have interpreted information wrong too. It is a giant learning experience, to say the least.

Recently I had to come to terms with getting some information completely wrong based on new information that had come in. There was something I thought might be true because of something a psychic told me. I went to another one to confirm what I was thinking and she confirmed what I was thinking to be true....and yet it wasn't true at all. How does this happen? Should I be angry at them, at me for getting it so wrong? No, not at all. I think there should be no shame or anger in getting shit wrong and admitting, "Yep, that was wrong." I see it as an opportunity to grow and learn and understand that we truly do have all of our own answers inside of us.

So many times along the way on this journey I have gotten confused and frustrated and just cleared the table of both puzzles. I doubted everything I thought to be true and worked at trying to sort out again what the truths are of my story. I started to re-assemble the puzzle pieces on the table and I would find the bits that were constantly true to me no matter how many times I got angry at the puzzles and wiped the table clean. And where I have found the clues to the truths are not from psychics or mediums...they were clues I found when I went back and re-read all of my dreams, signs and syncs. The clues to my truths came from me.

Don't get me wrong, some of the information I have gotten from psychics and mediums has helped lead me in the right direction of self-discovery and some just led me astray on a wild goose chase. I truly believe we shouldn't be dependent on those outside of us. Some of the "best" mediums have given me wrong information.

When we come here, we often check in our memories, knowledge and abilities at the door so we can get the most out of the experience and work our way up and find our way back to ourselves. But with all of that shit we checked in before we entered the physical, we often feel like we are driving around in the dark with no head lights and no street lights to help us. It can be confusing feeling your way around in the dark when you are used to being able to see. We are yelling "Marco" and "Polo" as a way to find our way to the ones we are supposed to meet up with and work with while we are here.

While the answers we seek really are within us, that is not to say we can't meet people and put all of our puzzle pieces on the table to see if any of our pieces fit their puzzle and whether or not any of their pieces fit ours. My friend, Shannon Johnson, is a medium and she gave unsolicited cold readings for the members of her Facebook group as a gift. You can see my mini reading HERE. In it the guides were showing her bees from a hive all going out, collecting nectar and bringing it back to the hive. They were all putting their bits into the collective soup...the honey. When I dream of two puzzles there is always one bigger than the other and I tend to see that as the "bigger picture" puzzle which encompasses soul group members and the smaller personal puzzle is about closer soul family. The bees are coming back to the hive and contributing what they can and when there is a piece they contribute that fits in place, it helps us see more of the picture.

But ultimately it is up to you and you alone to decide what the picture is showing you. No one else can do that. You have the answers to your biggest questions, you just can't give up trying to reach your truths no matter how many times you get it wrong. You can't worry about what others will think about you changing your story once you have new information. Shrug, say "fuck it" and move on because the ONLY thing that matters is finding your personal truths to your story. Who the fuck cares what anyone else thinks? It just doesn't matter. Don't be stubborn and say "but so-in-so says this." Fuck it. Let it all go, clear the table now and then and find your core truths that no one else can determine for you but you alone. Be willing to let go of information that is fucking up your picture. Be willing to admit, "shit, that puzzle piece doesn't fit" even if it is from the best fucking medium on the planet...even if you were so sure you were right. When new pieces come in, it becomes clearer but you have to be able to let go of what doesn't fit.

The new information that has come my way ended up being like a lightning bolt and I was like, "Shit man, how come I couldn't see this before?!" But the new information is welcome and the new developments pretty amazing. Maybe some day I will talk about it publicly here on my blog.

When a scientist makes a big break through it is because he has failed a million times and finally got the formula or equation right.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

The Dark Side of Channeling Erik

Ahhhh Channeling Erik....

What once felt like inspiration has become something very different over time.

Elisa claimed on a number of occasions that she had no desire to profit from the death of her son but it is my estimation she is doing just that with her multiple books, her desire for TV shows and radio shows. She once said she was going to start a non-profit so that any money that was made would go to help people. I just checked and could find no evidence of a non-profit in existence in Erik's name. She was going to dump the job in Jamie's lap and I checked that site too and still see no evidence to suggest that there is a non-profit that exists so that the proceeds from the books or whatever else are put to good use. Using it it to make more and more books is not putting it to good use, in my opinion. I was in the Channeling Erik group when Elisa tried to guilt members into buying multiple books because it wasn't selling well enough. She tried to guilt people into sharing her blog post more and she had to have X number of people like her Facebook page in order to ensure another book is published. I find this behavior really abhorrent.

It isn't just her that is profiting from Erik's death. The mediums she enlists to "channel Erik" get drawn into the Erik machine and they happily channel Erik for blog members for a price. Then there is the plethora of blog members who were "told by Erik" that they are meant to do this work be it psychic, medium or otherwise and they throw up a site and start channeling Erik too for a price. Essentially Erik is a prostitute and you can have time with him if you pay. It is all the rage, apparently.

What is my beef with all of these people worshiping Erik and channeling Erik? They are all creating dependency. They themselves are dependent on someone outside of themselves and in their marketing of Erik, they are also encouraging others to be dependent on him and them. Creating dependence on someone outside of you is the opposite of spiritual. Part of what we are supposed to be teaching in spirituality is that each of us have our own answers inside of us. Each of us need to connect with our own higher self...the God within. We need to be EMPOWERING people and not dis-empowering by creating dependency. ALL OF THE ANSWERS YOU SEEK ARE WITHIN YOU!! Seriously. Everyone can connect with spirit but what you should be trying to connect with is not outside beings be they physical or spirit. You should be trying to connect with the highest aspect of you. We all have the potential to develop abilities so don't look to someone else and think "but I can't do what they do." Well have you tried? Have you put in any effort to develop your abilities that lay dormant in each of us until we choose to use it and practice?

Onto an even darker side...

A friend shared a site with me today of another Erik dependent person. This is a bit from her page:

"And so, the journey began that way. Erik sent me gooshey love songs that I would have never sung to myself. He helped me understand how to recognize and interpret spirit “gestures” and have confidence in the meaning."


Here we go! Here is another one. This sounds all too familiar, love songs and whispering sweet nothings, etc. So far since I found CE, I could name close to 10 people if I include myself who have been romanced by this thing we call "Erik." I am not into fear mongering, but coming upon yet another gave me serious pause today and made me question everything I thought I knew. Yes, I am one of these people who was romanced by this thing...whatever "Erik" really is. I have known and talked to some of these women at length and I tell you that it fucks us all up. Not only do we become confused and emotional wrecks, everyone thinks we are crazy. Everyone thinks we are delusional. I am here to tell you that I am neither. Maybe I was lonely and unhappy and I was misled by this thing called "Erik" but nothing more. My question is, what type of higher being would do this to women? I honestly don't think a HIGHER being would do such a thing and I will tell you why. Because it encourages the humans involved to not really want to have physical relationships. In the long run it creates a heap of misery for the human.

So again I ask, what is this thing we call "Erik"? I believe you should question everything. What would be the motive for a being to do this? And I would bet you there are a hell of a lot more people experiencing what I and others have than we know about. A lot of people are going to keep it to themselves. I have considered on a couple of occasions that this thing feeds on us...on our energy. We focus on him and by default give him energy. But what if it creates an illusion that he is a primary soul mate or (barf) twin flame? Those individuals will give infinitely more of their energy freely. It feeds itself and becomes bigger with larger tentacles and all the adoration of this thing just gives it more power. Just maybe it is possible that the real spirit of Erik can't be heard because the monster tulpa we have created is so much louder and stronger. Maybe the real Erik wants no part of being prostituted. Maybe the real Erik stepped away ages ago and quietly reincarnated somewhere.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

I Am Not My Body - Making it Personal

I have written about this subject before but then elected to delete the blog post because I was a coward and it made me uncomfortable to reveal things that felt so personal and still very much something I struggled with in my own life. I have written poems about physical appearance too which you can find here on my blog.

This blog post has been developing in my head for a while and I think I am finally ready to get real with all of you and share my thoughts, my experiences and my feelings about it all.

I love my mom. I was always very attached to her when I was a child. My mom was unfortunate enough to be in an abusive marriage. The barrage of verbal abuse was daily. My mom gained weight and my father used to say the most horrible things to her. He would make lustful comments about other women in front of her and us regularly. How could this not chip away at her self esteem over time. How could this not be extremely toxic and damaging? My mom gained weight. At first just a little weight and later quite a lot. It seemed like she was always on some diet and at one point she lost quite a lot of weight but looked very sickly. And then she gained all of the weight back and then some.

I can't remember the first time my father told me what a fat ass I had and how I was going to end up looking just like my mother, but it was more than once. And it became a personal fear. I think I was about 13 or 14 when he said it to me the first time. I can remember being in Kentucky while visiting my cousin and seeing how fat my mom had gotten actually disgusted me. I vowed I would kill myself if I ever got as fat as my mom.

I went through a period of being bulimic and then switched to not eating. I would get a high from not eating and I would go as long as I could and eat as little as I could. The praise I got for losing weight was ever present. "Oh you look amazing!" "You look so much better." So all this positive reinforcement made me keep it up. I think I pretty much lived on coffee and cigarettes to get me through a day. Who cares that I would faint every now and then. Everything is fine as long as you are thin and pretty, right? I was extremely disdainful of people who were overweight because they represented my biggest fear.

When I became a full-time live-in nanny, suddenly I was having to sit with people every night and was being watched by the entire family. I was acutely aware that I needed to be an example to the kids and dutifully ate my dinner. Over time I naturally gained weight. It bothered me but I tried not to let it get to me that much. When I go back and read old journals, I can see what a focus it was in my mind. It didn't help that I was depressed and lonely living in Michigan. I never found my tribe there and never felt I had a place and people that I fit with.

Eventually I did get as fat as my mom. I haven't killed myself yet over it. lol I married, had a baby, and went through a lot of internal changes. I went through a period of having lost a lot of weight about 4 years ago and then I gained it all back when I went back to a normal diet. The diet and excessive exercise I was on was causing me to lose my hair which made me equally unhappy.

I have lived both sides of the coin. I have been both head turning beautiful and the person that gets completely overlooked and assumptions made about. Here is what I have learned.

I wasn't happy when I was thin and beautiful. I was miserable, in fact. Sure there were tons of people who would stop me and want to know me. People gave me things for free be it drinks, no cover charge at the bars I went to or even fruit at a stand where the guy thought I was hot. People fall all over themselves for outward beauty. People would want to know me but here is the catch. They would want to know me as far as having me around but they want to project onto you their ideal no matter how many times you try to tell them who you are inside. The majority of the people I knew back then never could see ME...the me inside.

I am overweight now and I know what kind of assumptions people make about me as I have likely made them about others before during my fat phobia years. I know people assume I am lazy and sit around over eating and eating crappy food. That couldn't be further from the truth.

When people want to attack you, the first thing they often go for and try to use to attack you is your personal appearance. It used to bother me but it no longer has a negative charge for me.

I could lose weight when I deal with my internal emotional baggage but a part of me doesn't want to. About 4 years ago when I lost a lot of weight, people were suddenly treating me different and were more responsive to me. The way I see it is my weight weeds out those who are rather shallow and superficial. It saves me the trouble of wasting my time to find this out later. If you don't want to know me and spend time with me when I am 220 pounds then I don't want you in my life when I am 120 pounds. I am still the same person inside at any weight or age.

It has been a very long and arduous journey to love and acceptance of myself as I am in this now moment. I am not going to say, "Oh I will love myself when I have lost _____ pounds." because that would make me no better than the shallow superficial people who only make time for those who are pleasing to their eye. I have to love and value ALL of me in this now moment exactly as I am.

There are many spiritual reasons why we hold onto to extra weight. You know those people who are heavy even though they eat well and are active? Usually there is an emotional and spiritual reason for the extra weight. I have had various dreams that highlight what some of my reasons are as a way to help me work through it and release what I need to release. Here is one of those dreams:

September 3, 2014 The dream jumps again and I was somewhere...another shop. My male friend runs the shop and he has some notes out on the counter about the applicants he has interviewed and some of his notes included "pretty" "nice figure". I get really upset and ask if that is really something he is looking for in an applicant. I asked him how these things are a determining factor in how well someone can do the job or how well qualified they are. I'm like "look at me! I am fat!" And he says something to the effect of, "well you're different." I am very upset. I say "No, I am not different! Do you know why people are heavy and why they carry extra weight?" I start to sob, "Because we just feel so much and we carry all of that with us. We feel so much pain and we put the weight on to protect us and cushion us." And now I am seeing the shop keeper but he has morphed into an overweight woman. Maybe that was who was living inside him from a past life and maybe why he was obsessed with attractive thin women...because he wanted to be that in a previous life.

I am going to be 47 this month. I will not allow our twisted societal ideas of beauty dictate to me what is beautiful. I will honor and cherish every line on my face. I will honor and cherish my body as it is in every now moment. I will not abuse it with starvation or excessive exercise as I have in the past. I will love and value me exactly as I am right now. We live in a society that worships youth and beauty and the moment that the youthfulness starts to fade, we throw them away. This is especially true of women, but I am sure it happens with men too...it is just we are more inclined to say "oh age looks good on him" and with women we just criticize and say, "Wow, she is getting old".

I suggest we change ourselves and our views and how we measure beauty. I suggest that we not judge a book by it's cover and actually get to know who someone is no matter if they are pretty or plain or old. Physical beauty can disappear in an instant. It could be a fire, a car accident, domestic abuse, violent acts like acid attacks. Everyone will get old eventually. What I suggest right here and right now is that we celebrate aging. I suggest we honor physical changes and be understanding and compassionate towards one another. I am suggesting you take the time to really get to know someone and see the magnificence and beauty that lives on the inside. Physical beauty is fleeting but inner beauty lasts forever.

In the end we are not really physical beings. We are spirit having a physical experience. All the beauty that is you has no real shape or form. The beauty that is you...that is soul...lives inside and is begging to be seen and acknowledged.

I am not my body....but I will love my body.

I know my worth and value and neither is dependent on someone else's opinions of me.

See with your hearts and not your eyes.

Friday, October 9, 2015

It's God's Will

Have you heard this phrase before? Has this phrase passed your own lips?

Link to the story.

God's will.

Hmmmm what do you suppose is "God's Will"? What does it mean to you?

If everything is as it is always supposed to be and there is no real right and wrong because right and wrong is a judgment then we can look at all the school shootings as "God's will." *shrug* "I guess it was God's will that I murdered someone." Why fight crime because "it's God's will" and there is no right and wrong, right?

You see, in my mind, "God's will" is just another fucking cop out for not having accountability or taking responsibility for anything in your life. Why bother doing anything at all ever? You could just call it "God's will," right? It is another way to pass the buck and say "I don't take responsibility for my life or my actions and I am not responsible for anything that is happening to me. Don't look at me, it is God's will."

Guess what I say to that? FUCK THAT!

We can agree that the devil and Satan were created so we don't have to take responsibility for our actions. But guess what? "God's will" is that same fucking ruse only prettied up with an imaginary white haired man in the clouds directing everything in your life.

If we say that we are ALL God in spirituality and then we say "God's will"...what does that really mean? Doesn't it mean that you are in control of your destiny? Maybe you do have your higher self directing you in this little rat maze experiment we call Earth Life, but it is still YOUR will, YOUR choices. How can everything be God's will and then we tell people they are the creators of their own realities?

By saying it is "God's will" you are just giving away all of your power and we are anything but powerless. If you only knew how much power you have, then you would never give away your power again.

I think there is a lot in spirituality that breeds apathy and standing back and doing nothing. By throwing up your hands and saying "oh well, it is God's will" and then going on your merry way, how does that help you or anyone? So you want no judgment and there is no right and wrong? Okay, how about I come over to your house and take your car and brutalize your family and then let's see you tell me again how there is no right and wrong because that is a judgment.

We live in a dualistic world....not an idealistic one and as long as you have shitty people who do shitty things, we will always see one action as right and one as wrong.

Apathy does nothing to change anything. Is it God's will that millions of innocent lives are being taken in a war on terrorism that is based on nothing but lies? And are we to sit back an do nothing because calling it wrong is a judgment? Fuck that! You live in this world and I live in this world and it is up to ALL of us to make it a better place. No one can save us but ourselves. To stand back and take an apathetic non-judgmental view will do nothing to create change.

Yes, be the change you want to see in the world but don't stop there. If you see a stranger who needs help, HELP THEM! If you see an injured and abused animal, DO something and/or call someone. Don't just stand around thinking, "Well it is God's will. There is no right and wrong.""Well someone else will stop. Someone else will help." GET INVOLVED AND GIVE A SHIT. This is your home, your planet. Give a shit and get involved and take action. This planet is your home so everything that happens on it really is YOUR problem. It might be as simple as walking down the road and seeing litter and you think "people suck who litter" but then you stop and you pick that shit up because you see it as your problem because you love the Earth and care about her.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Celebrities on Celebrity Involvement with Causes

 
There is an episode of Donahue in five parts on YouTube. The below was transcribed from part four. Guests for the show were River Phoenix, Lisa Bonet, Raul Julia, and John Robbins.

CALLER: What I would like to ask is how long have you guys been involved in such projects? Also, I would like for you to address the issues of celebrity involvement and such...such as we know that...

DONAHUE: Why...why don't you tell us what you think of that?

CALLER: What do I think?

DONAHUE: Celebrity involvement.

CALLER: I think it is very important I...I...I think that it, um, as people who are mainstream and seen by America, they can get the ideas out and information to people who don't know like myself and I'm very proud of them. I think these...i think Lisa has shown and River and Raul have shown considerable interest in today's society and I commend them wholly on it and I thank them as a young person. It's good to see other young people involved as well.

DONAHUE: Tell us about this, uh, it is true we are seeing an increase in the numbers of politically active celebrities with special skew to, uh, younger folks including you, Raul, I don't want to be...(laughter)

RAUL: I'm gonna take my tie off.

DONAHUE: Yeah, you better take your tie off. Speak about this and, uh, we've got some people looking through the blinds and wondering who is a hot dog and who isn't and do you really know what you're talking about if you are an actor. What do you really know about nutrition and vaccinations?

LISA: Well...well because we are people, you know. We separate the celebrity from the people, you know, and the thing about life here on Earth and success and glamour, you know and then you attain it and you're like "What do I have?" You know, do I have a healthy family? Am I healthy? Still our celebrities are dying of cancer and AIDs and of this and that. You know, we aren't separate from the realities and the fear that exists on this planet. And the reason why we are here as celebrities is 'cuz we can be here, where as some of these people here in the audience might not be invited.

RAUL: I think celebrity involvement takes, uh, has two aspects. There is the celebrity involvement of the celebrity that comes out into the public and doesn't know much about what they are talking about and they're there just to be seen and you ask them questions and they get (makes tongue tied sounds), you know. So they are there for their own celebrity. Then there is the celebrity involvement that is really committed, that really studies the situation and becomes a master of his cause. Then it goes beyond charity. It's no longer charity. It's a stand that this person has taken, a commitment. And that's what's gonna make a difference. Not "nice charity," "my pet charity" and all that stuff.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

A Retraction...sort of...

Deryck Whibley
I have been thinking a lot after I wrote my last blog post. I have calmed down a lot since I wrote it. I felt kind of bad for the things I said and debated taking it down entirely. Why would I even hesitate to remove it, you might wonder. Because I actually do want Deryck to take this beautiful opportunity he has to REALLY make a difference and DO something meaningful with it. I really do want him to understand the influence he has on all of his fans and to use it wisely for something that isn't self-serving.

This is a Syrian woman trying to keep her baby from drowning.
"In all, some 300,000 people have crossed the Mediterranean Sea into Greece and Italy this year alone, according to the office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.
Of those, at least 2,373 have died, according to the International Organization for Migration."copied from HERE. The attacks on the World Trade Center killed 2,753 people. Isn't it time we get moved into action and try to DO something to help these people? I implore people to give a shit about what is going on in the world. Get involved. If you think it isn't your problem, think again. We are ONE planet and ONE people.

A Syrian family tries to stay together.There is a crisis going on for these people. They are HUMANS and they need compassion and assistance. Instead they are experiencing hate and being arrested.

This is a Turkish bride and groom who thought it would be better to feed the Syrian refugees with what they would have spent on a wedding reception. I posted an article about this on Deryck's Facebook page, but I suspect it was entirely ignored.
Deryck's wedding reception on Sunday at Hotel Bel Air in Beverly Hills.

Another shot of the reception. They were dancing and oblivious to the pain and suffering being experienced by so many. Can you see and understand why I got so upset?

Despite how harsh I have been, the truth is, I care about him a lot. I wouldn't waste my anger and time on someone I hate. My anger stems from caring too much and feeling frustrated that an amazing opportunity is being wasted on superficial nonsense. You might wonder if this is typically how I treat someone I care about deeply. The answer to that would be, yes, this is typical for me. Hahaha The only physical fight I ever got into where three cop cars pulled up to break it up was with my very best friend in all the world. (Happy Birthday, Shannon! I love you!) Thirty years later she is still my very best friend. I mean, I am not an asshole usually but when I get fired up about something, I don't have a lot of filters. There isn't much standing in the way between the thought and saying it. I don't ponder, "Should I say that?" I just blurt it out and there it is. It isn't always pretty when that happens, but on the plus side, my friends know they will get an honest answer when they ask me for my opinion about something.

But what if my words piss Deryck off enough that he never wants to talk to me again? If my words make him say, "Fuck you, bitch. I will prove how NOT shallow I am!" and then he goes out and gets passionate about something and as a result his fans get passionate about the same thing, then sacrificing any future friendship with him is worth it. I want my words to light a fire so strong that it isn't likely to go out. If I can create a domino effect that creates change in the world, I would happily sacrifice myself for that.

Peyton aka _sum41_
Part of what calmed me down was talking to a Sum 41 fan I adore. (Hi, Peyton!) I mentioned about going through comments that fans post on Facebook and Instagram and reading a lot of them. Sure there are the idiots who all say the same or mention some of the things I have discussed in previous blog posts, but I haven't talked yet about the gems amongst the sea of throw away comments. I have previously gone through comments and responded to people who have gotten real and poured out their hearts. I wanted them to feel like they have been seen and heard even if it wasn't by their hero. It gave me pause to think about because I really do care about these kids and I was ready to just walk away in a fit of anger. It made me stop and think, "What the fuck are you doing, Oktobre?!"

 These kids are AMAZING! They are talented artists like Peyton Mallory...

Art: Peyton Mallory
Art: Peyton Mallory

and Dario Ponessa (aka the_jester_art)...

Art: Dario Ponessa (aka the_jester_art)

and poets and musicians like Nicholis Klopper...


Some of them are voices of reason who I know are always going to say something sensible and level-headed like Jimmy Capel and Joey Padron. There are those who are cheerleaders and faithfully support Deryck and his band and are unwavering like Lula Whibley, Veenza41, ga_muser, and Linameww. They are this beautiful community of artists, poets, musicians and misfits and I adore them and applaud them. How can I simply walk away from this community? I can't no matter how annoyed or irritated I get about things and my guides know it. lol

Deryck, I apologize for being so harsh and hurtful.