|Persephone's Return by Kinuko Y. Craft|
I have been on this weird and crazy journey of discovery and knowledge. I often dream I have two puzzles I am putting together and sometimes the pieces get mixed up and make it confusing. Sometimes pieces make it in there that are part of neither puzzle and need to just be thrown out.
At the beginning of all of this I had this sense that everyone else knew more than me and had abilities I didn't have which caused me to seek outside of myself for my answers. I sought psychics, friends, mediums, etc. I collected all of the bread crumbs that I acquired along the way and used it all to help lead me to the next bread crumb. I had my own source of information coming in but I didn't trust myself. I didn't understand then how I best received my information. We are all different in how we receive information and for me where most of my information comes to me is in dreams. When I was regularly meditating, I also received images, names, words, etc. Sometimes valuable information would come to me in a half-awake state. And all the signs and syncs are also great for guiding me on this path.
It was when my primary soul mate came visiting me that I went on a desperate search for answers and not all of the information and conclusions I came to were correct. There is a lot of shit I have gotten wrong...things I thought to be true that aren't. But there have been a lot of things that I was told by psychics and mediums that were completely wrong and threw me off getting to my truths faster. I trusted them more than I did me and it threw several puzzle pieces in the mix that didn't belong. I blame no one for the erroneous information because I have interpreted information wrong too. It is a giant learning experience, to say the least.
Recently I had to come to terms with getting some information completely wrong based on new information that had come in. There was something I thought might be true because of something a psychic told me. I went to another one to confirm what I was thinking and she confirmed what I was thinking to be true....and yet it wasn't true at all. How does this happen? Should I be angry at them, at me for getting it so wrong? No, not at all. I think there should be no shame or anger in getting shit wrong and admitting, "Yep, that was wrong." I see it as an opportunity to grow and learn and understand that we truly do have all of our own answers inside of us.
So many times along the way on this journey I have gotten confused and frustrated and just cleared the table of both puzzles. I doubted everything I thought to be true and worked at trying to sort out again what the truths are of my story. I started to re-assemble the puzzle pieces on the table and I would find the bits that were constantly true to me no matter how many times I got angry at the puzzles and wiped the table clean. And where I have found the clues to the truths are not from psychics or mediums...they were clues I found when I went back and re-read all of my dreams, signs and syncs. The clues to my truths came from me.
Don't get me wrong, some of the information I have gotten from psychics and mediums has helped lead me in the right direction of self-discovery and some just led me astray on a wild goose chase. I truly believe we shouldn't be dependent on those outside of us. Some of the "best" mediums have given me wrong information.
When we come here, we often check in our memories, knowledge and abilities at the door so we can get the most out of the experience and work our way up and find our way back to ourselves. But with all of that shit we checked in before we entered the physical, we often feel like we are driving around in the dark with no head lights and no street lights to help us. It can be confusing feeling your way around in the dark when you are used to being able to see. We are yelling "Marco" and "Polo" as a way to find our way to the ones we are supposed to meet up with and work with while we are here.
While the answers we seek really are within us, that is not to say we can't meet people and put all of our puzzle pieces on the table to see if any of our pieces fit their puzzle and whether or not any of their pieces fit ours. My friend, Shannon Johnson, is a medium and she gave unsolicited cold readings for the members of her Facebook group as a gift. You can see my mini reading HERE. In it the guides were showing her bees from a hive all going out, collecting nectar and bringing it back to the hive. They were all putting their bits into the collective soup...the honey. When I dream of two puzzles there is always one bigger than the other and I tend to see that as the "bigger picture" puzzle which encompasses soul group members and the smaller personal puzzle is about closer soul family. The bees are coming back to the hive and contributing what they can and when there is a piece they contribute that fits in place, it helps us see more of the picture.
But ultimately it is up to you and you alone to decide what the picture is showing you. No one else can do that. You have the answers to your biggest questions, you just can't give up trying to reach your truths no matter how many times you get it wrong. You can't worry about what others will think about you changing your story once you have new information. Shrug, say "fuck it" and move on because the ONLY thing that matters is finding your personal truths to your story. Who the fuck cares what anyone else thinks? It just doesn't matter. Don't be stubborn and say "but so-in-so says this." Fuck it. Let it all go, clear the table now and then and find your core truths that no one else can determine for you but you alone. Be willing to let go of information that is fucking up your picture. Be willing to admit, "shit, that puzzle piece doesn't fit" even if it is from the best fucking medium on the planet...even if you were so sure you were right. When new pieces come in, it becomes clearer but you have to be able to let go of what doesn't fit.
The new information that has come my way ended up being like a lightning bolt and I was like, "Shit man, how come I couldn't see this before?!" But the new information is welcome and the new developments pretty amazing. Maybe some day I will talk about it publicly here on my blog.
When a scientist makes a big break through it is because he has failed a million times and finally got the formula or equation right.