The Dark Side of Channeling Erik

Ahhhh Channeling Erik....

What once felt like inspiration has become something very different over time.

Elisa claimed on a number of occasions that she had no desire to profit from the death of her son but it is my estimation she is doing just that with her multiple books, her desire for TV shows and radio shows. She once said she was going to start a non-profit so that any money that was made would go to help people. I just checked and could find no evidence of a non-profit in existence in Erik's name. She was going to dump the job in Jamie's lap and I checked that site too and still see no evidence to suggest that there is a non-profit that exists so that the proceeds from the books or whatever else are put to good use. Using it it to make more and more books is not putting it to good use, in my opinion. I was in the Channeling Erik group when Elisa tried to guilt members into buying multiple books because it wasn't selling well enough. She tried to guilt people into sharing her blog post more and she had to have X number of people like her Facebook page in order to ensure another book is published. I find this behavior really abhorrent.

It isn't just her that is profiting from Erik's death. The mediums she enlists to "channel Erik" get drawn into the Erik machine and they happily channel Erik for blog members for a price. Then there is the plethora of blog members who were "told by Erik" that they are meant to do this work be it psychic, medium or otherwise and they throw up a site and start channeling Erik too for a price. Essentially Erik is a prostitute and you can have time with him if you pay. It is all the rage, apparently.

What is my beef with all of these people worshiping Erik and channeling Erik? They are all creating dependency. They themselves are dependent on someone outside of themselves and in their marketing of Erik, they are also encouraging others to be dependent on him and them. Creating dependence on someone outside of you is the opposite of spiritual. Part of what we are supposed to be teaching in spirituality is that each of us have our own answers inside of us. Each of us need to connect with our own higher self...the God within. We need to be EMPOWERING people and not dis-empowering by creating dependency. ALL OF THE ANSWERS YOU SEEK ARE WITHIN YOU!! Seriously. Everyone can connect with spirit but what you should be trying to connect with is not outside beings be they physical or spirit. You should be trying to connect with the highest aspect of you. We all have the potential to develop abilities so don't look to someone else and think "but I can't do what they do." Well have you tried? Have you put in any effort to develop your abilities that lay dormant in each of us until we choose to use it and practice?

Onto an even darker side...

A friend shared a site with me today of another Erik dependent person. This is a bit from her page:

"And so, the journey began that way. Erik sent me gooshey love songs that I would have never sung to myself. He helped me understand how to recognize and interpret spirit “gestures” and have confidence in the meaning."


Here we go! Here is another one. This sounds all too familiar, love songs and whispering sweet nothings, etc. So far since I found CE, I could name close to 10 people if I include myself who have been romanced by this thing we call "Erik." I am not into fear mongering, but coming upon yet another gave me serious pause today and made me question everything I thought I knew. Yes, I am one of these people who was romanced by this thing...whatever "Erik" really is. I have known and talked to some of these women at length and I tell you that it fucks us all up. Not only do we become confused and emotional wrecks, everyone thinks we are crazy. Everyone thinks we are delusional. I am here to tell you that I am neither. Maybe I was lonely and unhappy and I was misled by this thing called "Erik" but nothing more. My question is, what type of higher being would do this to women? I honestly don't think a HIGHER being would do such a thing and I will tell you why. Because it encourages the humans involved to not really want to have physical relationships. In the long run it creates a heap of misery for the human.

So again I ask, what is this thing we call "Erik"? I believe you should question everything. What would be the motive for a being to do this? And I would bet you there are a hell of a lot more people experiencing what I and others have than we know about. A lot of people are going to keep it to themselves. I have considered on a couple of occasions that this thing feeds on us...on our energy. We focus on him and by default give him energy. But what if it creates an illusion that he is a primary soul mate or (barf) twin flame? Those individuals will give infinitely more of their energy freely. It feeds itself and becomes bigger with larger tentacles and all the adoration of this thing just gives it more power. Just maybe it is possible that the real spirit of Erik can't be heard because the monster tulpa we have created is so much louder and stronger. Maybe the real Erik wants no part of being prostituted. Maybe the real Erik stepped away ages ago and quietly reincarnated somewhere.

I Am Not My Body - Making it Personal

I have written about this subject before but then elected to delete the blog post because I was a coward and it made me uncomfortable to reveal things that felt so personal and still very much something I struggled with in my own life. I have written poems about physical appearance too which you can find here on my blog.

This blog post has been developing in my head for a while and I think I am finally ready to get real with all of you and share my thoughts, my experiences and my feelings about it all.

I love my mom. I was always very attached to her when I was a child. My mom was unfortunate enough to be in an abusive marriage. The barrage of verbal abuse was daily. My mom gained weight and my father used to say the most horrible things to her. He would make lustful comments about other women in front of her and us regularly. How could this not chip away at her self esteem over time. How could this not be extremely toxic and damaging? My mom gained weight. At first just a little weight and later quite a lot. It seemed like she was always on some diet and at one point she lost quite a lot of weight but looked very sickly. And then she gained all of the weight back and then some.

I can't remember the first time my father told me what a fat ass I had and how I was going to end up looking just like my mother, but it was more than once. And it became a personal fear. I think I was about 13 or 14 when he said it to me the first time. I can remember being in Kentucky while visiting my cousin and seeing how fat my mom had gotten actually disgusted me. I vowed I would kill myself if I ever got as fat as my mom.

I went through a period of being bulimic and then switched to not eating. I would get a high from not eating and I would go as long as I could and eat as little as I could. The praise I got for losing weight was ever present. "Oh you look amazing!" "You look so much better." So all this positive reinforcement made me keep it up. I think I pretty much lived on coffee and cigarettes to get me through a day. Who cares that I would faint every now and then. Everything is fine as long as you are thin and pretty, right? I was extremely disdainful of people who were overweight because they represented my biggest fear.

When I became a full-time live-in nanny, suddenly I was having to sit with people every night and was being watched by the entire family. I was acutely aware that I needed to be an example to the kids and dutifully ate my dinner. Over time I naturally gained weight. It bothered me but I tried not to let it get to me that much. When I go back and read old journals, I can see what a focus it was in my mind. It didn't help that I was depressed and lonely living in Michigan. I never found my tribe there and never felt I had a place and people that I fit with.

Eventually I did get as fat as my mom. I haven't killed myself yet over it. lol I married, had a baby, and went through a lot of internal changes. I went through a period of having lost a lot of weight about 4 years ago and then I gained it all back when I went back to a normal diet. The diet and excessive exercise I was on was causing me to lose my hair which made me equally unhappy.

I have lived both sides of the coin. I have been both head turning beautiful and the person that gets completely overlooked and assumptions made about. Here is what I have learned.

I wasn't happy when I was thin and beautiful. I was miserable, in fact. Sure there were tons of people who would stop me and want to know me. People gave me things for free be it drinks, no cover charge at the bars I went to or even fruit at a stand where the guy thought I was hot. People fall all over themselves for outward beauty. People would want to know me but here is the catch. They would want to know me as far as having me around but they want to project onto you their ideal no matter how many times you try to tell them who you are inside. The majority of the people I knew back then never could see ME...the me inside.

I am overweight now and I know what kind of assumptions people make about me as I have likely made them about others before during my fat phobia years. I know people assume I am lazy and sit around over eating and eating crappy food. That couldn't be further from the truth.

When people want to attack you, the first thing they often go for and try to use to attack you is your personal appearance. It used to bother me but it no longer has a negative charge for me.

I could lose weight when I deal with my internal emotional baggage but a part of me doesn't want to. About 4 years ago when I lost a lot of weight, people were suddenly treating me different and were more responsive to me. The way I see it is my weight weeds out those who are rather shallow and superficial. It saves me the trouble of wasting my time to find this out later. If you don't want to know me and spend time with me when I am 220 pounds then I don't want you in my life when I am 120 pounds. I am still the same person inside at any weight or age.

It has been a very long and arduous journey to love and acceptance of myself as I am in this now moment. I am not going to say, "Oh I will love myself when I have lost _____ pounds." because that would make me no better than the shallow superficial people who only make time for those who are pleasing to their eye. I have to love and value ALL of me in this now moment exactly as I am.

There are many spiritual reasons why we hold onto to extra weight. You know those people who are heavy even though they eat well and are active? Usually there is an emotional and spiritual reason for the extra weight. I have had various dreams that highlight what some of my reasons are as a way to help me work through it and release what I need to release. Here is one of those dreams:

September 3, 2014 The dream jumps again and I was somewhere...another shop. My male friend runs the shop and he has some notes out on the counter about the applicants he has interviewed and some of his notes included "pretty" "nice figure". I get really upset and ask if that is really something he is looking for in an applicant. I asked him how these things are a determining factor in how well someone can do the job or how well qualified they are. I'm like "look at me! I am fat!" And he says something to the effect of, "well you're different." I am very upset. I say "No, I am not different! Do you know why people are heavy and why they carry extra weight?" I start to sob, "Because we just feel so much and we carry all of that with us. We feel so much pain and we put the weight on to protect us and cushion us." And now I am seeing the shop keeper but he has morphed into an overweight woman. Maybe that was who was living inside him from a past life and maybe why he was obsessed with attractive thin women...because he wanted to be that in a previous life.

I am going to be 47 this month. I will not allow our twisted societal ideas of beauty dictate to me what is beautiful. I will honor and cherish every line on my face. I will honor and cherish my body as it is in every now moment. I will not abuse it with starvation or excessive exercise as I have in the past. I will love and value me exactly as I am right now. We live in a society that worships youth and beauty and the moment that the youthfulness starts to fade, we throw them away. This is especially true of women, but I am sure it happens with men too...it is just we are more inclined to say "oh age looks good on him" and with women we just criticize and say, "Wow, she is getting old".

I suggest we change ourselves and our views and how we measure beauty. I suggest that we not judge a book by it's cover and actually get to know who someone is no matter if they are pretty or plain or old. Physical beauty can disappear in an instant. It could be a fire, a car accident, domestic abuse, violent acts like acid attacks. Everyone will get old eventually. What I suggest right here and right now is that we celebrate aging. I suggest we honor physical changes and be understanding and compassionate towards one another. I am suggesting you take the time to really get to know someone and see the magnificence and beauty that lives on the inside. Physical beauty is fleeting but inner beauty lasts forever.

In the end we are not really physical beings. We are spirit having a physical experience. All the beauty that is you has no real shape or form. The beauty that is you...that is soul...lives inside and is begging to be seen and acknowledged.

I am not my body....but I will love my body.

I know my worth and value and neither is dependent on someone else's opinions of me.

See with your hearts and not your eyes.

It's God's Will

Have you heard this phrase before? Has this phrase passed your own lips?

Link to the story.

God's will.

Hmmmm what do you suppose is "God's Will"? What does it mean to you?

If everything is as it is always supposed to be and there is no real right and wrong because right and wrong is a judgment then we can look at all the school shootings as "God's will." *shrug* "I guess it was God's will that I murdered someone." Why fight crime because "it's God's will" and there is no right and wrong, right?

You see, in my mind, "God's will" is just another fucking cop out for not having accountability or taking responsibility for anything in your life. Why bother doing anything at all ever? You could just call it "God's will," right? It is another way to pass the buck and say "I don't take responsibility for my life or my actions and I am not responsible for anything that is happening to me. Don't look at me, it is God's will."

Guess what I say to that? FUCK THAT!

We can agree that the devil and Satan were created so we don't have to take responsibility for our actions. But guess what? "God's will" is that same fucking ruse only prettied up with an imaginary white haired man in the clouds directing everything in your life.

If we say that we are ALL God in spirituality and then we say "God's will"...what does that really mean? Doesn't it mean that you are in control of your destiny? Maybe you do have your higher self directing you in this little rat maze experiment we call Earth Life, but it is still YOUR will, YOUR choices. How can everything be God's will and then we tell people they are the creators of their own realities?

By saying it is "God's will" you are just giving away all of your power and we are anything but powerless. If you only knew how much power you have, then you would never give away your power again.

I think there is a lot in spirituality that breeds apathy and standing back and doing nothing. By throwing up your hands and saying "oh well, it is God's will" and then going on your merry way, how does that help you or anyone? So you want no judgment and there is no right and wrong? Okay, how about I come over to your house and take your car and brutalize your family and then let's see you tell me again how there is no right and wrong because that is a judgment.

We live in a dualistic world....not an idealistic one and as long as you have shitty people who do shitty things, we will always see one action as right and one as wrong.

Apathy does nothing to change anything. Is it God's will that millions of innocent lives are being taken in a war on terrorism that is based on nothing but lies? And are we to sit back an do nothing because calling it wrong is a judgment? Fuck that! You live in this world and I live in this world and it is up to ALL of us to make it a better place. No one can save us but ourselves. To stand back and take an apathetic non-judgmental view will do nothing to create change.

Yes, be the change you want to see in the world but don't stop there. If you see a stranger who needs help, HELP THEM! If you see an injured and abused animal, DO something and/or call someone. Don't just stand around thinking, "Well it is God's will. There is no right and wrong.""Well someone else will stop. Someone else will help." GET INVOLVED AND GIVE A SHIT. This is your home, your planet. Give a shit and get involved and take action. This planet is your home so everything that happens on it really is YOUR problem. It might be as simple as walking down the road and seeing litter and you think "people suck who litter" but then you stop and you pick that shit up because you see it as your problem because you love the Earth and care about her.

Celebrities on Celebrity Involvement with Causes

 

For Mobile Phones, click HERE

There is an episode of Donahue in five parts on YouTube. The below was transcribed from part four. Guests for the show were River Phoenix, Lisa Bonet, Raul Julia, and John Robbins.

CALLER: What I would like to ask is how long have you guys been involved in such projects? Also, I would like for you to address the issues of celebrity involvement and such...such as we know that...

DONAHUE: Why...why don't you tell us what you think of that?

CALLER: What do I think?

DONAHUE: Celebrity involvement.

CALLER: I think it is very important I...I...I think that it, um, as people who are mainstream and seen by America, they can get the ideas out and information to people who don't know like myself and I'm very proud of them. I think these...i think Lisa has shown and River and Raul have shown considerable interest in today's society and I commend them wholly on it and I thank them as a young person. It's good to see other young people involved as well.

DONAHUE: Tell us about this, uh, it is true we are seeing an increase in the numbers of politically active celebrities with special skew to, uh, younger folks including you, Raul, I don't want to be...(laughter)

RAUL: I'm gonna take my tie off.

DONAHUE: Yeah, you better take your tie off. Speak about this and, uh, we've got some people looking through the blinds and wondering who is a hot dog and who isn't and do you really know what you're talking about if you are an actor. What do you really know about nutrition and vaccinations?

LISA: Well...well because we are people, you know. We separate the celebrity from the people, you know, and the thing about life here on Earth and success and glamour, you know and then you attain it and you're like "What do I have?" You know, do I have a healthy family? Am I healthy? Still our celebrities are dying of cancer and AIDs and of this and that. You know, we aren't separate from the realities and the fear that exists on this planet. And the reason why we are here as celebrities is 'cuz we can be here, where as some of these people here in the audience might not be invited.

RAUL: I think celebrity involvement takes, uh, has two aspects. There is the celebrity involvement of the celebrity that comes out into the public and doesn't know much about what they are talking about and they're there just to be seen and you ask them questions and they get (makes tongue tied sounds), you know. So they are there for their own celebrity. Then there is the celebrity involvement that is really committed, that really studies the situation and becomes a master of his cause. Then it goes beyond charity. It's no longer charity. It's a stand that this person has taken, a commitment. And that's what's gonna make a difference. Not "nice charity," "my pet charity" and all that stuff.

A Retraction...sort of...

Deryck Whibley

I have been thinking a lot after I wrote my last blog post. I have calmed down a lot since I wrote it. I felt kind of bad for the things I said and debated taking it down entirely. Why would I even hesitate to remove it, you might wonder. Because I actually do want Deryck to take this beautiful opportunity he has to REALLY make a difference and DO something meaningful with it. I really do want him to understand the influence he has on all of his fans and to use it wisely for something that isn't self-serving.

This is a Syrian woman trying to keep her baby from drowning.
"In all, some 300,000 people have crossed the Mediterranean Sea into Greece and Italy this year alone, according to the office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.

Of those, at least 2,373 have died, according to the International Organization for Migration."copied from HERE. The attacks on the World Trade Center killed 2,753 people. Isn't it time we get moved into action and try to DO something to help these people? I implore people to give a shit about what is going on in the world. Get involved. If you think it isn't your problem, think again. We are ONE planet and ONE people.

A Syrian family tries to stay together.There is a crisis going on for these people. They are HUMANS and they need compassion and assistance. Instead they are experiencing hate and being arrested.

This is a Turkish bride and groom who thought it would be better to feed the Syrian refugees with what they would have spent on a wedding reception. I posted an article about this on Deryck's Facebook page, but I suspect it was entirely ignored.

Deryck's wedding reception on Sunday at Hotel Bel Air in Beverly Hills.

Another shot of the reception. They were dancing and oblivious to the pain and suffering being experienced by so many. Can you see and understand why I got so upset?

Despite how harsh I have been, the truth is, I care about him a lot. I wouldn't waste my anger and time on someone I hate. My anger stems from caring too much and feeling frustrated that an amazing opportunity is being wasted on superficial nonsense. You might wonder if this is typically how I treat someone I care about deeply. The answer to that would be, yes, this is typical for me. Hahaha The only physical fight I ever got into where three cop cars pulled up to break it up was with my very best friend in all the world. (Happy Birthday, Shannon! I love you!) Thirty years later she is still my very best friend. I mean, I am not an asshole usually but when I get fired up about something, I don't have a lot of filters. There isn't much standing in the way between the thought and saying it. I don't ponder, "Should I say that?" I just blurt it out and there it is. It isn't always pretty when that happens, but on the plus side, my friends know they will get an honest answer when they ask me for my opinion about something.

But what if my words piss Deryck off enough that he never wants to talk to me again? If my words make him say, "Fuck you, bitch. I will prove how NOT shallow I am!" and then he goes out and gets passionate about something and as a result his fans get passionate about the same thing, then sacrificing any future friendship with him is worth it. I want my words to light a fire so strong that it isn't likely to go out. If I can create a domino effect that creates change in the world, I would happily sacrifice myself for that.

Peyton aka _sum41_

Part of what calmed me down was talking to a Sum 41 fan I adore. (Hi, Peyton!) I mentioned about going through comments that fans post on Facebook and Instagram and reading a lot of them. Sure there are the idiots who all say the same or mention some of the things I have discussed in previous blog posts, but I haven't talked yet about the gems amongst the sea of throw away comments. I have previously gone through comments and responded to people who have gotten real and poured out their hearts. I wanted them to feel like they have been seen and heard even if it wasn't by their hero. It gave me pause to think about because I really do care about these kids and I was ready to just walk away in a fit of anger. It made me stop and think, "What the fuck are you doing, Oktobre?!"

 These kids are AMAZING! They are talented artists like Peyton Mallory...

Art: Peyton Mallory

Art: Peyton Mallory

and Dario Ponessa (aka the_jester_art)...

Art: Dario Ponessa (aka the_jester_art)

and poets and musicians like Nicholis Klopper...

Some of them are voices of reason who I know are always going to say something sensible and level-headed like Jimmy Capel and Joey Padron. There are those who are cheerleaders and faithfully support Deryck and his band and are unwavering like Lula Whibley, Veenza41, ga_muser, and Linameww. They are this beautiful community of artists, poets, musicians and misfits and I adore them and applaud them. How can I simply walk away from this community? I can't no matter how annoyed or irritated I get about things and my guides know it. lol

Deryck, I apologize for being so harsh and hurtful.

The Responsibility of Celebrity

I have a bone to pick.

My guides wanted me to follow this "celebrity" and interact with him. I have done as they asked and I studied him at length.

Over a year later, I no longer wish to comply with my guides requests. I am weary and this guy is anything but deep. His biggest concern is trying to see where he can get a little press be it from trying to milk the story about the old guitarist coming back to conveniently having a photo placed on the wedding planner's page that gives away the date and location of the wedding that is to take place tomorrow. I suspect that was meant for the press and paparazzi to find. I mean, you gotta milk even your most tender moments for press, right? *rolls eyes* His home address was totally given away in comments on Instagram and I warned both him and his drummer about it in a private message, but the comment stating what street he lives on is still there. Maybe I am brighter than most, but I assume if I was able to find his home address in 5 minutes based on information he, his fiance and some dumb guy named "Mike" gave, well, anyone can. I just have to SMH

This guy had potential. He has this amazing platform and his primary audience are kids, who are the most malleable of audiences. The kids are our future, right? He has this amazing opportunity to actually stand for something and fight for causes....real causes. Not which pair of shoes he will wear for the night or what guitar he should use on the album. So far he has completely pissed away his opportunity to help create a better world. Are you really that shallow and superficial that your biggest concern is your superficial friends and your superficial little world? Are your blinders so big that you can't see what is happening in the world? WAKE THE FUCK UP! Take your fucking blinders off and actually stand for something real with depth. And please, please, please stop saying that you just didn't know that alcohol would do what it did to you. It just makes you look really stupid because the truth is EVERYONE knows that too much alcohol will kill you. It doesn't have to be a period of years to destroy you. It can simply be one night of excess and alcohol poisoning will take you out. We have all heard stories about it, so please stop playing the dumb card and just take responsibility for your self-destructive behavior.

I think celebrities need to realize the influence they have and put that to use to do something good. I mean REALLY do something. Not just use their face to bring attention to a cause, but to get pissed off and really passionate about it. Get their hands dirty and DO something to create change in this world to make it a better place.

There are a few who I can say I respect and admire. Brad Pitt for the work he has done for the last 10 years in New Orleans to get the poor back into GOOD housing. Not just some shithole thrown together that is not energy efficient. No, he made sure it was quality homes that were energy efficient. Keanu Reeves is known for being a wonderful giving soul who cares about people and the issues. Russell Brand, love him or hate him he is out speaking his truth and I adore him for being so passionate about it. Jim Carey has stood up and spoken out and regardless of your stance on vaccinations, he is using his celebrity for something that isn't just self-serving. Let's talk about Joe Rogan. He knows what is going on on a spiritual level and he has been a big advocate for legalizing cannabis. Cannabis HEALS and it needs to be legal far and wide. There are SO many useful things that cannabis can be used for. I don't use it recreationally but I voted to have it legalized in my state because it needs to be a plant in our environment again because it is a medicinal plant that can be used in so many helpful ways. Emma Watson...omg I just love her for standing up for women and caring about the treatment of animals when choosing the products she buys.

We need more celebrity heroes who actually are worth following and stand for something. Our planet is in dire straits. We have to change or we will successfully exterminate ourselves. We are mowing down the forests that give us oxygen. We are polluting the waters with radiation, toxic mining waste and fracking. We are killing the bees so that we can have neat and tidy lawns. We are polluting the air and killing the soil.

I know it isn't likely for any celebrities to read this blog post, so I implore audiences to give a shit and choose celebrity heroes who have substance and depth who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty and aren't afraid to stand up and speak out for things they believe in.

Why Does This Always Happen to Me?

 How many times have you heard someone say something similar to this?

"Why does this always happen to me?"

Maybe you have uttered those words at some point in your lifetime and maybe you have heard it from friends. I know in my younger years I used to say it a lot.

*drum roll*

The reason this keeps happening to you is because there is a lesson that you aren't getting. When you don't get the lessons that life is throwing at you, life will happily throw more of the same shit your way until you finally get it.

When I say "life" I really mean you/your higher self because you create your entire reality. It's okay if you don't want to take responsibility for your reality and keep saying that others are doing this to you, but the sooner you do take responsibility, the sooner you can become a conscious creator and turn things around. The sooner you look at the situations that always happen to you, the sooner you can identify where you need to make some adjustments and make different choices so you don't have to keep experiencing the same situation a million times only with different people.

Denial is a powerful thing and there are plenty who want to whine and complain and think that they aren't at fault and it is everyone else who is doing this to them. Hahahaha Sorry, but it really makes me laugh when that happens. I have been there and I KNOW. I was full of excuses and blame and nothing was ever my fault. I get it, but I also get that you can't ever grow to your full potential and have the experiences you think you want to have until you can humble yourself and look in the mirror and recognize that the reason "this" keeps happening to you stems from you alone.

We manifest every single experience...good and bad. But good and bad is a judgement therefore in the end there are only experiences. The sooner you look at every experience in your life as a learning opportunity, the sooner you will actually examine each experience and GAIN something positive no matter how painful. It tends to be the painful experiences that help us to grow the most. When I look back at my life, it is the experiences I didn't think I would survive that helped transform me the most.

Embracing Change and The Oddity of Fandom Part 2

 

I debated staying up last night to write about what was bouncing around my head but I was too tired so opted for sleep instead. Now I am stuck composing this on my phone which I really didn't want to have to do, but what are you going to do when the only computer is being occupied? There is nothing left to do but adapt and push forward. I need to get this out of me. It needs to be said. It doesn't matter if anyone ever reads it. I will feel better for having said it.

A band I follow recently posted an announcement for a pre-order for the new album they are recording. It isn't as if the new album was news to the people who are following them closely but everyone was excited for the opportunity to pre-order the long awaited new album. So many comments flooded in. There were lots of positive comments but then there are always those that like to tell the band what sound it should have and that it should sound like blah blah blah previous album. They don't want any ballads. They don't want another Screaming Bloody Murder album. They don't want this and they don't want that. They are pissed off because Dave and Stevo are no longer in the band. They want Deryck to stop wearing hats. They want Deryck to always wear his hair spiked the way he used to. They always want them to have campy silly photo shoots. Never let us see you have matured and grown. Better not age either because that might piss off some. People feel so entitled to say some of the most horrendous things to celebrities as if they aren't human and have no feelings. I'm sure this isn't an exclusive phenomenon experienced only by Sum 41. I'm pretty sure this fear of change is felt by every band who has any kind of following. I sat there reading the comments and I got really annoyed and was thinking "Fuck off!" I am still not sure why I got so annoyed and took the comments so personally. I am not a musician but I do consider myself an artist of sorts...a writer/poet. 

This isn't a new topic. I have discussed it in comments on the Sum 41 Instagram page. More than once I have discussed how I feel about it all. From a spiritual stand point, I understand that the people who want the music and the band to stay exactly the same have a fear of change and this is being reflected in their desire to keep the things in their life exactly the same. Their desire to keep things exactly the same is so strong that they try to control those around them...including the bands they love. They threaten to not be a fan anymore or they say mean and hateful things. It would be very easy to get upset and lash out at some of these people but each person has a story. Each person has feelings and their reactions are based in a fear of change. I had to step away, pause and think about it instead of reacting out of anger.

Perhaps the best I can do is write this blog and try to show them that their desire to keep their favorite band exactly the same is based in a fear of change and reflects their own fear of moving forward and change in their own lives. The majority of the Sum 41 fans are angsty teens whose whole lives feel volatile and unstable because they are nearing that point where big changes are getting ready to take place be it leaving high school, starting college, etc. Kids are highly hormonal at that point as well, therefore emotions are all over the place. They desire something constant and stable in their lives if they have a sense that their life is out of control...which is why they seek to try to control what matters to them most like a band whose music speaks to their angst.

My hope is that some of these people will recognize their fear of change and then choose to face it. I challenge them to embrace change. Embrace change in yourselves and in others...even if it means your paths part because of it.

Here is the thing, we all have free will to choose. If a band no longer makes music you dig, move on and discover something new that speaks to your soul. There are SO many bands out there to choose from. It is okay to hold a special place in your heart for the albums you loved that are basically like a soundtrack for a specific time period in your life, but don't expect anyone to stay exactly the same because of your fear of change.

Below is an exchange that took place after the below photo was posted on Instagram:

oktobre17: sum41 Long live Sum 41!! May tomorrow always bring about changes for all of you that help you be the very best versions of yourselves. May "right now" always be the moment you cherish most and be filled with all the music of your soul.

sum41:Thank u. This is the sum 41. That is excited and wants to be here and play music for the world! oktobre17

oktobre17: sum41 I know this is the version that wants to be here and make music and you have my love and support. it frustrates me seeing how difficult it is for some to accept change in others be it your hair, the sound of the music, the shoes you wear. My marriage ended because my husband couldn't accept the changes I had made with my beliefs. What I have come to accept and learn is that those who no longer serve our highest good naturally fall away from our lives the moment we let go and let the Universe work its magic. When that which doesn't serve us anymore falls away, it makes room for that which IS for our highest good to reach us. I embrace change in myself and others. Staying stagnate and the same would mean you aren't learning and growing. You, my friend, have done a beautiful job of changing. You are the Phoenix rising from the ashes and being reborn into something new and better than your last incarnation. I have mad respect for you, Deryck.

user1: Oh what happened to the days where you guys use to look happy

oktobre17: user1 is that what you see? Unhappy? I see three men who have matured and grown. I see warriors who have come back with new resolve and determination. I see a new dad who likely is thinking about what kind of world and legacy he wants to create for his child. I see a newly married man who is juggling being a member of two bands and his personal life. I see a man who has been to hell and back who hasn't given up....a man whose big motivation is to create something new for all of you and be able to perform it for you later. Must they always stay the same and have the same goofy silly shots to be deemed happy? sum41

user1: Not saying that at all tho I do not follow there personal life's to much.


oktobre17: If you look at the posts on this sum41 account, you are following their personal lives. Deryck has shared all of those tidbits along the way.

user1: oktobre17 or your just don't understand the meaning of "to much"

oktobre17: Do you mean "too* much"? Sure I do...but I am on a roll today and I figure "what the fuck" and threw caution to the wind and spoke my mind and my heart regardless of it still being a Mercury retrograde. Hahaha oh well. I have always maintained that it would be far better to actually have real dialogue than one-liner quips.

user1: oktobre17 so what your say is you take pleasure in coming on here and trying to put people down good to know.

oktobre17: Are you saying that is how you feel? I have not intended to put you down. My intention is always to be a friend to sum41 and show him my support. I get frustrated when I see comment after comment about people whinging about his hair not being the same or wanting the music to be exactly the same, or want them to always maintain the same playful campiness in photos they are known for. There are shitloads of people who complain that Dave and Steve aren't in the band as if Deryck has a hand in their no longer being in the band. Dave and Steve made free will choices to move on and do something else. This was not something Deryck wanted but he has no control over their choices. Deryck's main focus right now is to move forward with his life and part of that is creating the best fucking Sum 41 album of his life...until the next one. My point is, I wish people would stop lamenting and pining away for what was and embrace and support what is now with the band. My apologies if you felt put down. It is not my intention, user1

user2: oktobre17 people have different tastes and opinions and miss things. It doesn't mean they dislike a thing. I miss the old sum 41 because of the crazy photos and punk side to it and it's good for a band to know what their fans like. They could try and satisfy most ppl with different styles.

oktobre17: user2 musicians are ARTISTS...not some factory churning shit out just to please the consumer. They take everything that is twisted inside of them and create something and simply hope that some people resonate with their creations. But they create primarily because it is a spark in their soul that drives them. Their creations are expressions of who they are in this now moment. If an artist tries to churn out shit to please others, then they are not being authentically themselves. Wouldn't you rather they were true to themselves rather than caring so much what others want them to be? I am a writer and if someone tried to tell me what to write and how to write it, it wouldn't be my creation. It wouldn't have the same flavor of who I am because I would care too much about what others want and not what I feel compelled to say/write. We should all strive to authentically be ourselves and not bend to conformity of what others wish us to be. sum41

user2: oktobre17 im not saying they can't change. Im open minded and appreciate all they do but as a fan I am allowed to say that I liked AKNF or Chuck UH whatever more and I wish they play around with different sounds more and take more photos without it looking all the same these days with just a different background.

user3: I don't want a change I like how they are song like motivation, into deep , fat lip , walking disaster , and underclass hero songs like that please listen to the fans and stay that way

SMH