Free Flow Photo Dump

I don't have much by way of wisdom or insights to share, but I do have these photos to share of the things I have found interesting over the summer. Apparently I'm into clouds, and wildlife. Enjoy!

Storm clouds at dusk.

Rainbow.🌈

Do you see what I see? It looked like a dragon in flight to me so I had to take a picture.

Trash pandas aka raccoons.

Opossum and skunk battle it out.

Opossum.

This is Charlie. She was a tiny baby squirrel when she first started coming to us. We gave her the name Charlie because we weren't sure if she was a boy or girl and considered it was a name that could fit for either male or female. As she got older, it became obvious that she was a girl. When Charlie arrives, we try to scare the other squirrels away. She was so little that the big squirrels would scare her off, until we stepped in to help her. Charlie has gotten used to the routine of us scaring the others away so that she can eat her fill of nuts. As she has gotten older, it is harder to tell her from the others except for two things. She has a strange humpback look when she scrunches up and she isn't as jumpy and scared when we open the slider to give her extra nuts. We ❤️ Charlie. 

Bunny.

This girlie squirrel was a ninja in her past life.

Why, yes, we do feed and water the squirrels!

Wounded butterfly.

Great blue heron.

Me with a couple of pigs... guinea pigs, that is.

A squirrel was trying to access the bird feeder.

Squirrel!

Skunk! Mahina got sprayed by one. That was a fun night. lol

Mahina curious about a tortoise.

Clouds

Mockingbird

Skunk!

Sweet orphan, Charlie.

This is Charlie when we first met her. She was so tiny.

Life Purpose, Faith, Trust, and Knowing

Illustration by Kate Baylay

Lazy blog post alert!

I had a conversation in which the information I discussed felt worthy of me saving and sharing both for you and for me. If you have questions or something doesn't make sense, feel free to ask for clarification.

In a nutshell, I think my life purpose is sort of a mail delivery person. It is my job to deliver the messages I am given through Spirit, my experiences, my growth and development.

I continue to try to be the very best version of myself each day and share my journey openly with all of you.

Happy reading!

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Yeah, a lot of people seem to be going through the same in-between stage we have. It is excruciating trusting Spirit and not running back to the safety net of working a job we hate so that we can be enslaved in working to survive.

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I don't know how often you get outside with your bare feet in the grass, but I think, right now, it is really important to anchor into the mother (Earth) and father (Sun). I feel if we anchor into the mother and father, they will protect us from what is happening...from what is coming.

In order for things to truly change, humanity, as a collective, has to have a major tower moment and something new can be rebuilt afterwards.

Oregon has just mandated wearing masks again but even outdoors this time.

It will be interesting to see how it all plays out, but I always knew there would be a bumpy ride before real change happens across the world. I always knew there would be a significant culling of the population. This is Revelations and many other prophecies that foretold of a time when those who will not change will be suffered no more...but the Mother will protect the ones who are here to help Her.

We must not hold fear in our hearts and KNOW we are protected.

I say this more for my own reminding.

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Nothing will hold you back if you complete and end the cycle.

As a way to try to avoid those cycles, I am trying to continually ask myself, "Is this a choice based in fear or faith and knowing?"

If the answer is fear, I try to change it up to faith and knowing.

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This is you living your life for other people's happiness and not your own.

It is a lesson.

It is always the lesson when we are guilty of sacrificing our own happiness for everyone around us.

I can see the same lesson clearly with my sister repeating. She keeps sacrificing her happiness and, in turn, keeps being faced with situations where she is having to sacrifice her happiness. If she were to set boundaries and make her own happiness a priority, she would see it all shift.

Since we got here and help mom out, my sister doesn't have to. And then, suddenly, she was faced with having to take in her mother-in-law, who is worse off than my mom, and my sister is hating life at the moment. The cycle will continue to repeat until she learns to set boundaries and make her own happiness a priority. She will continue to be faced with similar opportunities to make self-loving and self-nurturing choices.

One isn't selfish when there is balance. When we are leaning too far in either direction of give and receive, we will be faced with opportunities to grow and make different choices that leads us to balance and harmony.

Patterns repeat until we choose differently.

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There are no accidents.

It is all symbolism.

All of it.

Every choice I make, now, I consider the symbolic message it is sending.

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How can you release the fear? The worry?

With Trust, Faith and Knowing.

• Knowing your needs will be met even if you don't know the how.
• Trusting Spirit has your back.
• Believing something will happen to make it all possible.

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Friend: I've trusted before and failed

Me: Have you trusted before and it worked out?

Friend: No lol

Me: Really?

Friend: Yep Because I don't know what spirit knows

Me: I took a leap of faith and trusted that coming to Missouri was the path Spirit wanted me on.

I had no income of my own.

My mom helped me.

When I got to North Carolina, my dad gave me money to help us.

When I got to Virginia, my brother and his wife gave us money to help us.

I have survived on that for the summer.

I'm nearing the end of that money.

That was abundance provided by Spirit, and my job was to not feel guilty or feel like I owed them for the abundance I have most certainly earned through doing what Spirit asked of me...

...growing and sharing my journey.

My dilemma with possibly going back to work at Sally's was a test.

It was a choice between fear and faith.

Will I choose to go back to being a slave due to fear of lack or will I choose what's behind the door of faith which is unknown?

Will I choose the familiar or will I choose to leap without a safety net?

I am leaping...to the best of my ability I am trusting in Spirit.

You can, too.

A new road can be paved out of the debris from the towers that fall.

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By Julio Romero de Torres, 1905

Dream Journal Entry: June 1, 2020 

I had a nap this afternoon and I remember a bit of dream where my daughter kept trying to go to her friend's house, but Inara wasn't allowed in to spend time there. Inara was upset. She said she saw other people going in but Amber wouldn't let her go in.... apparently she was worried about germs or something. I was upset and said I would go over and find out what was going on. I don't think I was allowed in either. 

The scene jumps and now there is something about how I got an email from some organization. I was doing what I thought it was telling me to do. It was something related to my writing and preparing for some job I thought they were offering. The woman who sent the mail said that she had sent a lot of emails out to people but that most people never responded and I had. Apparently it was just for some online group. She said she sent out the emails to find the people who she thought would actually participate in the group. Only those who responded were invited. It obviously wasn't what I thought it was but I said that it was okay because I needed to do this anyway. 

Then it was like I was hearing a voiceover where they are showing me how I have been doing this all along, following the guidance even when it wasn't what I thought it was initially and I still got the experiences and lessons I needed to bring me to what I wanted in the end anyway. I saw it was leading me to the job I wanted and now I was prepared for when the job offer came to me, which, in the dream, it was right around the corner. 

The dream jumps again and now someone is asking if I had bought any food at Target. They were saying there was some scandal about how they had saturated all of their food in Lysol. I thought about it and wondered why they would do that to the food but then started to remember the Mexican word of the day meme "Lysol the time". Basically they were saying that a message board where I spent some time was steeped in lies and falsities.

Face the Music

 

Today, when I woke, I wondered to myself what I should do differently so that it wasn't exactly like the day before.

I decided I would try listening to music instead of the tarot readings I listen to one after the other and mostly don't pay attention to anymore. They have become background noise for me, more often than not, while I do other things. 

I went to Spotify and put on Foo Fighters.

I didn't expect the train of thought this simple act would take me on. I thought I would write about it so you can share some of this journey with me.

I started thinking about what a big part of my life music used to be for me...but somehow it sort of shriveled up and died inside me somewhere...a lost part of me I didn't think was retrievable. I remembered how music was what moved me and transported me throughout much of my life.

It was music that was my solace and comfort when I felt alone. It was music that was my trusty companion on all of my road trips. I would sing along with what I was listening to or get lost in some train of thought or daydream with music as my personal soundtrack in those moments. Music was my co-driver to St. Louis to see my band friends, driving to Florida, driving to Oregon for my first solo adventure, driving back and forth from Michigan to Missouri, etc. Making music was my ultimate dream...once upon a time.

How did it die within me? How did I come to this place of almost never listening to music except for in the grocery store? 

I actually drove across country from Oregon to Virginia in mostly silence. Sometimes my daughter would play her music, but most of the time driving was spent music free. 

I left every CD I bought back in Oregon. I left an entire life behind and told myself to pretend it all burned in a house fire. It's the best way to be okay with letting it all go so that I could move into a new life. 

Well...I moved into the "in-between" where I am now. I left the old life behind but it feels like the new one hasn't quite yet started. So I linger in the in-between where I detox from the old life and continue to grow when and where I can. 

It's less emotionally charged here in the in-between. I don't cry all the time here. I don't wish I was dead almost every day, multiple times a day. It's more like floating in water and looking up at the sky with the clouds drifting overhead. Funny enough, I have spent a lot of time in the swimming pool doing that literally.

I started to think back to the beginning stages of my spiritual journey when I feel was a time I started to connect both to spirit and a higher part of myself. I was excessively exercising at that point and I listened to music to power walk and exercise to. It was during those walks with the music streaming that I felt a deep spiritual connection to something bigger than myself. It was like the movement combined with the music was a magic formula that plugged me into spirit that would change my life forever.

Messages often come to me through music be it in dreams or a song that pops into my head. Spirit likes to communicate through music for many on the spiritual journey.

I can't say for sure when it was I started listening less and less to music. All I know is that I did and it became rare that I would listen to anything other than tarot readings, my daughter talking and the white noises surrounding me.

What moves us musically is different for all of us, which is beautiful. Some people hear night sounds and don't like it, but I have always thought of night sounds as being music to my ears. The night orchestra is much bigger and louder here in Missouri. Cicadas, frogs, crickets, owls and thousands of other unseen bugs. While swimming at night, I often rescue crickets from the pool. I send the tiny musicians back into the night so they can rejoin the orchestra and continue to sing their songs.

I bought my daughter her first guitar recently. I hope she sticks with it and learns to play so she can create songs that fill her up inside.  I once owned a flute, a bass guitar, an acoustic guitar and I gave up trying to learn them all. I have to think that, had YouTube been a thing back when I wanted to learn, maybe I would have been more likely to succeed at learning an instrument well and not just dabbling until I got bored or my lack of self confidence got in my way.

While a music career may not be my dream anymore, maybe it is time I finally face the music and rebuild my relationship with it. Maybe it is that one part of me that is trying ever so hard to come home to me and I have been closing my heart, mind and soul to it. Maybe reconnecting with the music is the last lock that needs to be removed before the floodgates of abundance can be opened to me. Maybe I have had my finger in a hole in the dam wall and all I need to do is remove it and press "play" on a music device to bring the wall down and allow what is trying to reach me to flow towards me....on the sound waves of a song.

Even though my reserve funds are quickly depleting and the lack mentality I battle tells me to use it only on practical needs, I think, as a symbol of my commitment to reconnect with the music, I'm going to go buy a pair of Bluetooth headphones today so I can really connect more fully with the music than a single ear bud in my left ear.

***All images are borrowed from Foo Fighters' Instagram page and were selected because I was listening to them while I wrote this blog post.