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| Photo by Toni Frissell |
My friend, Lindsay, and I have recently been having discussions about our health and growth. We noticed a curious thing. Despite the mountains of clearing and growth we have achieved, our bodies are not healing in the way we would expect with so much clearing. In fact, both of us feel worse and we are questioning how this could be.
"Clear out the inside shit and the outside shit will fall away," my guide said to me one morning. He meant my weight. And I fully believed this would be true. If I clear out my internal baggage, I could finally heal.
That is what I have whole heartedly believed this whole time and yet I have not gotten external results from my internal clearing. I keep diligently working to be the best me I can be and yet health wise, I am not getting better but worse.
Healer, heal they self.
How can I be an example to others if I can't figure out how to heal myself through my thoughts and beliefs? I'm doing the heavy lifting. I am a totally new person internally and yet I still woke up this morning gasping for air and having asthma symptoms which I hadn't for a long time.
I believe that everything I am doing should be able to completely heal me with no need for medical care. I believe in magic with all of my heart, so what could be the issue?
They have been showing me recently in dreams that a component of the game is what is slowly burying me.
"What game is that?" you may ask.
Most people know it as the Twin Flame Journey. Maybe you call it Sacred Union, Divine Partnership, whatever label you want to give it.
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| Photo by Toni Frissell |
I do not believe at all that the other person is the other half of our soul. I believe they are classmates we have been assigned to. We give each other a small flame, a small spark of us to energetically tie us to them. Those tiny pieces are like the tiny magnetic robots that Hiro created in Big Hero 6. That tiny piece keeps trying to get back home and is dragging us with it.
But what that energetic tie also does, I now believe fully, is it causes us to be responsible for each other.
What I do to me, I also do to you.
If you knew that your self loathing was literally putting someone else's health at risk who you care deeply about, would you continue or would you change?
I think that is what hasn't been clear to me. The Twin Flame community often say that we can help heal our partners by healing ourselves, but they are coming from a perspective of being two halves of a whole. That is not my perspective. I believe it really is a component of the game, part of the contract, to motivate us to treat ourselves better and change our thoughts so we aren't harming someone we love.
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| Photo by Toni Frissell |
Whomever I have been energetically tied to must feel great with all the work and self love I have achieved. I think there have been several contracts for me. If our contracted partners aren't carrying their weight and doing their work, they will act as a cement block that will eventually kill us both.
I think once we grow enough and come into balance and self love within ourselves, and we realize we still aren't healing and that the "twin flame" contract might be a noose around our necks, I think there is only one thing left to do. It is the highest act of self love to end all twin flame contracts in an effort to heal.
I think the Twin Flame journey was designed to bring us to a place of independence and discernment so that we aren't always sacrificing ourselves for a partner, so that we aren't losing who we are to try to make someone happy. So many relationships are dysfunctional and fail because we think we NEED each other, but that comes from a place of lack and brokenness. It isn't healthy or self loving to put your whole identity into another. I think all of the Twin Flame journey, which would be more accurately coined "The Journey Back to Self", was designed to bring us to a place of independent wholeness and self love so that when we decide to choose a partner, it will be from a place of strength and balance and not a place of need or lack.
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| Photo by Toni Frissell |
Union is optional. It isn't necessary for completeion.
Today I intend to do another intention spell to break all of my Flame contracts, because my need to heal is greater than my desire for contracted unions. That is the highest act of self love...to choose me and what is best for me over a partner no matter how much I love them.
Sacred Union is possible, but it has to be two sovereign beings who are BOTH in a place of balance and wholeness. Both have to be coming from a place of self love before they can hope to have a successful Sacred Union that is likely to stand the tests that are sure to come their way.
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| Photo by Toni Frissell |
Recently in an in-between state I heard myself saying, "I don't need to fit anyone but me."
Is there a Sacred Union predestined for me? I have no idea. I tend to feel I get to consciously decide on partnership as I understand I am a conscious creator.
All I know for certain is that I complete this part of my journey today.
And so it is.
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