Navigating and Our Personal Journeys

Recently I had a conversation with a friend that left me with my feathers ruffled.

I am fairly certain she left the conversation feeling the same way.

I shared with her some of what had been going on in my life and shared some of the feelings I was experiencing. At no point did I ask for advice or help. I was simply expressing myself and sharing. I usually don't want advice or help and just want someone to listen. I don't need anyone to insert what they think is right or wrong or how they think I should handle it all. I am fairly adept at handling my own shit. Most of the time I want to talk about it and nothing more. I was pretty taken back when I got a barrage of unwelcome "help" and "advice" that was basically telling me how she thinks I should do things based on her interpretation of the limited information I gave her. I was shocked at her interpretation and her lack of understanding and compassion.

What I find interesting is that often the people who are most vocal about being "empaths" are the ones who seem to demonstrate the least empathy. Maybe it was just an off day for her because normally she is very kind, but she sure as hell was NOT feeling what I was feeling or she would have never said some of the hurtful things she did to me. I walked away feeling like she really just has no understanding of me and my journey at all.

The thing is, I am okay with her not being able to grasp or understand it fully but the barrage that followed even after I told her she didn't understand was eyebrow raising and made me feel annoyed for days. The meme below was what I was wanting to scream.

You might be surprised to hear me say that I am GRATEFUL to her for this experience. Being irritated by the conversation made a lot of things well up inside me that wanted to be expressed. Because of that interaction, I was inspired to write and write and write...and since writing is what I love to do, that isn't a bad thing. I have been able to talk about subjects that are important to me but were only mildly brewing inside. She helped bring it all to a boil and to the surface. So thank you to my friend for the inspiration. My friend provided the grains of sand that would provide the irritation to create some pearls of wisdom.

Now onto the meat of the topic I want to discuss today...

We all come into these lives with a specific journey we are intending to have. We all come equipped with an inner compass for navigation. We have our handy dandy spirit guides who help nudge us in the direction we intended for ourselves before we stepped into a skin suit and forgot everything we knew and planned. Maybe you planned to meet up with certain people and work together for a while but, always, our individual journeys are for us and us alone. I share my journey with all of you and understand that what you experience may be vastly different. The order you experience different phases in the spiritual journey may be different from the order I have experienced those same phases.

There is no right or wrong way in this journey called "life".

Maybe you don't hit all the markers and grab all the flags you intended to when you hit the top of the mountain and started swooshing downhill at record speeds, but you won't incur a "do-over" for missing the minor things. It is going to hurt if you go off course and maybe hit a tree or two. It may or may not slow you down, but you get back up on your skis and keep going.

I went through a phase where I thought everyone else knew more than me and had my answers to help me navigate my journey. I would seek out mediums and psychics and think they had so much more wisdom than me. Some of the information I got was just flat out wrong and bad. But some of the others weren't so overtly wrong and, for a time, I took their information into my navigation system. It was taking me all over the place in all kinds of funky directions. When I finally started to believe in me and trust me, I could look back and see that a certain dream was trying to show me this, but I didn't understand that is what it was trying to tell me until AFTER I had already gotten to the point of trusting myself and my own navigation.

August 28, 2014  Apparently I had gone on a trip to Europe or somewhere. I can't remember specifics but a big part of the dream was being on this giant plane. It seemed like we were on it for ages. I wanted the food I thought I had brought with me but it seemed to have disappeared. I thought maybe someone had taken it or perhaps they never put it on the plane as they were supposed to. Well we flew for a while but the plane stopped and we had something like a two hour layover, so I went into this city I was unfamiliar with to go find something to eat. I was riding around on a bike and the streets were busy. Two guys grabbed onto me to help propel me forward faster. I was like "what are you doing? I am new at this bike riding stuff. I don't want to go fast." And then we approached this stop light. We all stopped and I looked. It was a steep decline and I was scared. I was thinking, there is no way I can go down that on a bike. I will kill myself because I will go too fast. I wanted to get off and walk the bike down the steep hill. I don't actually remember traversing the hill but my concern was getting back to the airport on time and I kept seeing these lines on a map, but it was like the navigation was fucked and taking me in round-about ways instead of a direct route. I was feeling upset that I might miss my plane home. That is all I remember of that one.


So basically this navigation outside of me wasn't really getting me to where I wanted to be. It reminds me of a news story I saw recently about a 23 year old woman following her GPS navigation into a lake. lol Oops!

Here is the story.

If we are all basically an aspect of God/Source, then wouldn't it be a silly thing for us to send billions of people to have the exact same journey and to navigate it exactly the same way? Don't you think that we, as God, would be clever enough to throw in as many variables and variations as we can to get as many experiences as we can so we can take it in as part of our God-self? So please don't tell me how you think I should navigate my journey based on your limited knowledge of what is coming into me from my guides, your standards, your beliefs, and your overall personality. My journey is mine and yours is your own. I know all too well how tempting it is to "help" because I have been guilty of it myself and I had to learn to step back and just allow people to navigate their journey the way they feel best. I can offer my perspective if I am asked, but I am not them nor am I a sum of all of their parts. I don't actually know what is best for them or what they have set up for themselves pre-birth. It is very tempting to project onto people what is best for your own journey and not necessarily theirs.

I have had a well-meaning psychic/medium try to tell me that "the guides" told her this or that when: 1. I never gave my permission for her read me or access privileged information about me. Having a casual conversation is NOT implied consent. 2. I never gave permission to access communication with MY guides so who the fuck she was talking to, I have no idea. I just know they weren't MY people. In one particular instance, her interjection of what "the guides" were supposedly saying only succeeded in pissing me off and wanting to tell her to back the fuck up. I did tell her this was MY journey and mine alone and there was no way in hell she was privy to the mountains of details and daily interactions I have with my guides. For every dream I write down, there are 20 others I don't record. They just float around in my head and pop out when something triggers a memory. You should never presume you know my whole story by what little I do share. What I share is just the tip of the iceberg. Trust that I can navigate my own journey without your unsolicited advice and help. Trust that I am listening to my guides and doing exactly what I feel is the very best for me and my journey. Trust that even if I get shit wrong, it is okay and is what is best for me and what I need to learn. Trust that when I tell you I sometimes cry and feel sad that having these emotions are part of my journey and don't need to be avoided. Trust that I don't need to be fixed and that I am learning in leaps and bounds from my difficulties.

None of us have any real idea what the soul next to us planned to experience no matter how psychic, intuitive you are or how many spirits you talk to. We should be careful about inflicting our personal morals on each other because morals are mostly subjective. Some people adhere to the human laws of morals, but the morality of the soul in non-physical is very different. When your mind expands and you start to see the world through spiritual colored lenses, human morals seem quaint but not really applicable in a bigger picture sort of way. The journeys we plan for ourselves could look pretty messy. They could seem to be full of conflict and *gasp* immoralities. It isn't really for you or me to decide what is right or wrong for another person. All we can do is decide what is right for ourselves.

All of us are a sum of all our parts and that sum is unique to each person. Some people are all fluffy bunnies, kittens, fairy dust and unicorns. While I am over here all combat boots, bad-ass, brass knuckles and "fuck off." Neither one is a right or wrong way to be. To ask me to approach my journey like your fluffy bunny self is to ask me to ignore who I truly am. Do I have a soft squishy center? Absolutely! Does the fluffy bunny have a bad-ass center? It is very likely. But how we naturally navigate and operate through our journeys is going to look very different. We have to be willing to step back and just accept people for who they are and allow each other to operate in a way that feels natural and comfortable. You fluffy bunny people are perfect just as you are because our God-self wanted to experience what life was like that way. But our God-self also wanted to experience life as bad-ass, brass knuckle people too and those of us who appear hard on the outside are absolutely perfect the way we are as well.

By all means, love and support the people around you who are doing the best they can on their journeys, but allow them to use their own inner navigation to get them to their final destination.

Processing and Interpretation

Interpretation is a funny thing. If I were to write something and have ten people read it, it is entirely possible all ten will take away something completely different when processing the meaning.

There are many factors to HOW we interpret the information coming into us.

I tend to believe that the date and time of our birth is no accident and has everything to do with pre-birth planning to ensure certain attributes are present in the characters we are about to play. We set it up so that we have specific personality traits to better help us have the experience we are looking to have and/or to aid us in completing a mission we agreed to take on prior to stepping into physical form. Regardless of what you believe about astrology and the influence of the cosmos on us, when we are born, we each come in being hardwired in specific and unique way.

Chemicals and hormones all play a factor in how we process things in our brains. So everything including the food you eat, the air you breathe, the water you drink, the chemical exposure you have in your environment, sun exposure, medications affect how we interpret. Fluoride is a neurotoxin and is in our toothpaste and the drinking water for many people. Many cities are highly polluted so the air can be toxic. There are preservatives and dyes in food. There are preservatives and aluminum in personal hygiene products that can disrupt hormones. The level of activity you have and where you do said activity can have an impact on our brains and how we process.

Add into that mix every single experience we have ever had in our lives. And oh, hey, let's throw in some past life baggage you brought with you to this life. Even if you have had similar experiences to another, it will affect us all differently. Think of siblings in a family who all suffer the same abuse and see how differently they each are affected.

No two people are identical in how they process and interpret. Each person is a unique cookie recipe. You can use the same ingredients in slightly different amounts and come up with some very different results. Textures, flavors, and colors will be different.

Vector - Photo by Dan Mountford

We are a sum of all our parts. That sum determines how we process information and that sum is always changing.

With this in mind, is it any wonder that I could write something and one person sees it as harsh and pushy, while another person might see simply honest forthright expression. One person gets their feathers ruffled while the other person doesn't see it as a big deal. Maybe the person it was intended for even respects and appreciates what I wrote while the other wants me to alter my behavior and change how and what I say. Not everyone will process the same written words exactly the same way. Some are going to hate it, some are going to love it, and some will have no idea what you are even talking about.

It would be an error to assume that everyone will interpret exactly as you do. I mean, isn't this part of the reason we have so many misunderstandings since social media became a thing? It is VERY easy to interpret what you are reading in a voice that was not intended by the author. You might read me as angry when, in fact, while I was writing, the voice in my head was earnest and heartfelt.

We can't walk around trying to be people-pleasers, second guess ourselves or second guess everything we say and do at every turn. We just have to be exactly who we are without fear and without regret. If we please ourselves by being completely authentic to who we are, then we have done something right.

As Chris Cornell sings...be yourself is all that you can do.

Forgiveness, Super Mario Brothers, Leveling Up

I recently responded to some comments in In My Sacred Space Facebook group about my blog post from yesterday and felt like what I explained is worthy of its own blog post. I have talked a lot on this blog about how we are each living out our own personal plays. I have made references to this experience being a game we are trying to complete. It isn't surprising to me that someone doesn't agree with me about the whole "Jesus dying for our sins" issue because people like that sense of a safety net....that sense of an easy out when they are knee deep in the shit and they fucked up.
 
Forgiveness shouldn't be that complicated for us as a species and yet it seems to be, so we create this fantasy that this magical man died so that our slate could be wiped clean. That just isn't what Yeshua came here for. He was just a man. Yes, he was an extraordinary man but he wanted to show us all the cheats on how to complete the level. He never wanted to become some pseudo deity. He never wanted to be worshiped in the way he is currently. He never wanted to be the excuse for wars and atrocities we commit toward each other in his name. He just wanted to show us how to Level Up. He was leading by example, as we all should. 

It was foretold of his coming but what if he was simply the human equivalent of game cheat video on YouTube showing us exactly how to get through the level? I think that is exactly what Yeshua was....the Way Shower for how to get the fuck out of this level. We have been in this level for so long that we have forgotten it is just a game. We have been here so long we have forgotten we aren't actually the characters we are playing. 

It is time to wake up and remember WHILE we are in the physical. The key is to forgive NOW, to remember who we really are NOW while in the physical and playing the game. It is no good if you only remember once you kill off your character and go to the other side and get ready to jump back in. If you can let go of your physical attachments, let go of the hurt and pain and anger through forgiveness, if you can apologize to those you have wronged while you are here...you get to Level Up which is basically "ascension". I mean, what does it actually mean to ascend? Think about it.

I think while we are here in the physical, we have a responsibility to each other to not be assholes and actually give a fuck about each other. That was something that Yeshua was famous for...helping others and being of service. He lived a life that was heart-centered. He cared about others and saw everyone as equal no matter their social status, their profession, their gender, their sexual preference. He just loved them all and was of service to those in need.

We have become a society of greed and self-centeredness. We care more about buying things and more things to fill the void we have inside of ourselves. If only we could understand that things will never fill the void. Our consumerist lives will be the death of the planet if we cannot change and become a heart-centered species rather than self-centered. Love is what that void is craving. When we truly love ourselves in a non-materialistic sense, we can then give love easily and freely.

User 1: Very interesting. And except for the forgiveness i agree with you and lets keep spreading the truth

Me: What do you believe about forgiveness? 

User 2: Hmmmm depends on the dastardly deed ...

Me: If you know this is actually just a play and we are all performing parts in it, no matter how dastardly the deed is, if we can be cognizant that the soul inside is just playing a role and forgive and forgiving means being able to move up a level in this whole experience, why wouldn't you do it? When a character on stage kills another character, do we hate the actor who played the role? No, because we understand that it isn't all that real. And what we learn, if we have explored spirituality long enough, is that there is a whole lot of planning and choice that goes into the roles we ultimately choose to play when we come to Earth. We know full well the tumultuous life or easy life we could be living.

Think about video games and how when you play and meet new challenges you use a life trying to understand the level. So you keep coming back to the same level over and over and over again until you finally learn how to navigate the new level. I once played Super Mario Brothers for Super Nintendo with my sister-in-law for 13 hours straight. hahahaha When we got to where we had to fly to get through the level, it took us many lives to get to the point where we could finally figure out how to fly and make it to the end of the level.

Nevermind that we were waving our controllers all around in the air as though that would help the process any. lol That is what we are doing here on earth...using up life after life to navigate through the level. Earth is just one level we have to navigate.

The game we are playing is the one of separation from source. We are playing at this idea we are individuals and then with each level we accomplish, we are a level closer to God. The goal is to get back home and integrate in. And once we are back, we start the game all over again. It is some crazy shit but true and some of which can be found in Dolores Cannon books.

Moving up a level is what I mean by getting off the hamster wheel. We keep playing the same level over and over again and it is time we finally get it. So here we are, people like me, you, Ashley and everyone in this community offering cheats to explain to people HOW to beat the level if they follow our advice. That is all Yeshua was really doing. He was offering cheats on how to finish the level finally.

PSA for Jesus Freaks, Bible Thumpers and the General Christian Population

Is that title inflammatory? lol

Blame it on the hour and a half preaching session I had with my well meaning father who was trying ever so hard to direct my behavior and save my soul by quoting scripture and offering to send me religious literature.

I have a friend who also writes a blog and in one of her blog posts she talked about Lot and his wife and how she became a pillar of salt. I read it and shook my head and said to my computer screen, "The author of that tale wasn't being literal!" And I sent a message to my friend telling her what I felt like the true meaning of that story was about. Lot's wife was told not to look back but she did and she became a pillar of salt. As a fellow writer, I use metaphors all the time when trying to explain something in terms that it might help others understand. The author of that passage was being poetic. He was saying that she shouldn't dwell in the past and focus on the fall of the city. But she did look back and her sorrow and grief consumed her. Everyone knows that tears are salty and by saying she became a pillar of salt simply means she cried a lot and was consumed with grief.

After I had that spontaneous "aha" moment, I wondered what other bible stories were likely metaphors and flowery writer's speech as opposed to literal? Well, quite likely most of the stories. Why would writers from all those years ago be all that different from writers today? I dare say they were not and they are likely smacking their heads from the other side at our literal interpretations of their words.

David and Goliath is likely about one small nobody taking out a powerful and famous adversary...not a literal giant. His reputation was giant only. Maybe the dude was larger in size than the kid with the sling shot. That would be a given.

Jonah in the whale is likely about facing great personal difficulty and inner turmoil. Going into the belly of the beast and coming out with renewed faith. How many times have I used the metaphor of being swallowed up when I am feeling consumed by my darkness? A lot, actually.

Daniel and the lion's den might be about facing a rich and powerful ruler/adversary and walking away unscathed even after voicing potentially death sentence worthy thoughts and opinions.

The list could go on and on.

I have been researching Yeshua (aka Jesus) and I think I have come to a pretty good understanding of who he actually was. I mean, hey, it is progress that I can even accept that he was a real person who lived once upon a time because, until very recently, I thought he was a fairy tale character.

Basically what I have come to understand is that Yeshua's thoughts and beliefs weren't very different from my own. What the bible leaves out from his story are the years between about 14 - 30. Ask yourself what Yeshua was doing all of those years. If you research it, you will discover that Yeshua was one of the greatest travelers and he went all over the world with his uncle. Each place he went he talked to the people and learned about all different faiths and he brought that all into himself and decided what he felt to be true. The people from his Jewish faith frowned upon the things he was teaching and telling people. They accused him of heresy.

What was Yeshua actually teaching? There was a lot that was left out from the bible but if you look to the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, and the Secret Book of John...as well as others...you will learn that Yeshua was talking to people about reincarnation, taking personal responsibility for everything manifested in your own life. He taught how thoughts and beliefs create. He spoke of how God is at the center of each and every one of us and all of us can access our God center. All of us are God's children...not him alone. He tried to teach people that EVERYONE is capable of performing the "miracles" he performed...if only they choose to harness it and access it. He promoted meditation and going within. He promoted being of service to each other. He encouraged forgiveness as a way of releasing karma. He tried to get people to remember who they really were because we aren't these bodies we have a physical experience in. He wanted people to know that we are eternal beings and we don't actually die.

Yeshua was charged with heresy and being blasphemous. He was executed for what he was trying to teach people. But the people of that time weren't ready for his messages back then. Yeshua doesn't have to come back because he got off the hamster wheel we call reincarnation, but he left a message letting people know he would be back.

I was thinking about it all the other day and the image of Jesus doing a winky face and thumbs up popped up in my head. I imagined him up on the cross doing this and saying in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent, "I'll be back." My dad believes he will come in on clouds and who knows what else. But the truth is, Yeshua meant he will be back via reincarnation. If you are looking to your skies waiting for Jesus to save you, you are looking in the wrong place. It is possible he is sitting beside you on the bus or is the guy you just flipped off.

This will be a hard pill for you staunchly religious folks, but Yeshua didn't die for our sins. He didn't die so that you can go "Jesus, please forgive me for my sins" and you are magically forgiven. The forgiveness he was promoting is more complicated and is about treating people the way you want to be treated. He was promoting forgiving others and ourselves. He promoted self-love and seeing every single person out there as an aspect of self. He wasn't about giving people a "get out of jail free card". He wanted people to take personal responsibility for themselves and adjust their behavior accordingly. There is no "Satan" making us do bad things...only our own shadow selves getting in the way of our own growth.

Yeshua died to show us how it could be done and that death is not the end. He forgave all who tortured, beat and betrayed him. He was trying to give us a blueprint for how to move up to the next level instead of staying in the constant cycle of reincarnation. We don't have to come back over and over again but it requires us waking up, remembering who we really are, making peace with who we have been, forgiving the past, forgiving those who wronged us and letting go of our attachment to the physical world. You can't move on to the next level if you are so attached to the physical world that you just keep coming back over and over.

I realize that this information will fall on deaf ears for people, like my father, whose minds are not open and they cannot even consider what I am suggesting. But, maybe, for those people like me who were force-fed religion (aka fear, shame, guilt, etc) and came to a point of feeling like it was a fairy tale, maybe it will shine new light on a great man who tried to share the same message we are trying to share.