Taking Things Back, Going Home

Photo by Yevgeny Khaldei, Kiev, 1969

Dream Journal Entry: March 6, 2022

I dreamed about being at some sort of event, some function. It was near the end of the event and I was making preparations to leave. I was getting ready to go back to Oregon and I was very happy about it. I was looking forward to being back home in Oregon. I was packing up my stuff and going through things, discarding what I didn't need or want. My partner and child were there, as well, and they were also packing up to leave. Sometimes it feels like a campground and all the campers are preparing to pack up and leave. As I am making my way out, I find these small little woven basket-like things that had been given out as party favors or promotion and they had been left behind by people. I was going to take one but the woman who had given them out wanted to take it back and keep it to reuse for later. Each one I found, she wanted to take back from me. It was confusing because she had given them out for people to take home, but was now taking back what was discarded by others. Her adult daughter and I made eye contact and she made a face that suggested she knew and understood my confusion. She said her mom did this all the time. She didn't like it and it was embarrassing. I had this sense that the woman who made the tiny woven baskets also did tarot readings and the daughter indicated that they were never any good or right. So, I left the baskets and started to make my way out.

I come upon a trans woman I identify as Lexi. She is someone I was asked to talk to in real life, which I did briefly. I said hello to her and blurted out, "you are just so beautiful!" At which point, I leaned in and kissed her lips and my hand made it's way down to her crotch to touch her ever so briefly. I was so shocked and surprised at what I just did that I pulled away quickly, apologizing. I said, "I don't know why I just did that. I'm not a spontaneous, impulsive person, especially with physical contact. That was so unlike me. I'm sorry." Lexi smiled and said it was okay and not to worry. We continued to stand very near each other and it was clear that there was interest on both sides. I suddenly remembered it was her birthday and wished her a happy birthday, giving her a hug as I exited the building. 

I remember hearing the number 1228. I wondered if it was the date of her birthday, 12/28. But then remembered it was March and 12 is December.

As things were getting sorted in the pulled trailer that was like an RV, I went to wait in the car that seemed to be sitting separate on the street by a playground. I noticed adults doing cartwheels and playing at the playground. I remember thinking that I was happy to be leaving the semi truck. I don't understand what that means, just remember thinking that. 

The car was dark blue. I got in the back seat and started the car to warm it up. As I sat there waiting to leave, two older women got in the car and started drive it away. I got upset and asked them what they were doing, that it wasn't their car. The driving woman seemed to indicate she was just going to give a ride home to the other woman, but I didn't trust her and told her absolutely not. This was not okay because I didn't want to be separated from my family who I had been waiting for. I reached over the seat and grabbed the wheel, forcing the car to go back to where it had been parked. I threatened to call the police and have them arrested. I remember seeing a map and needing to drive all the way up from the lower part of California to get to Oregon. It felt like a long way to go but it wasn't ask long now, because I had been much further away at one point.

There was a weird bit of dream about my daughter dying but then being recycled, as in, she was immediately reborn and I knew she would grow at an exponential rate. I remember her being a baby and nursing her. I also remember in that scene something about a coffee pot showing up in a corner on a counter.

I can't remember anything else.