Euthanasia

The Great Awakening, (1890). By Herbert Gustave Schmalz, (1856-1935).

Dream Journal Entry: January 23, 2022

I dreamed of K and J again. I was back visiting them and my mom was with me. I'm not sure why I am back here. I recall having my dog with me, as well. Their house is different than I remember it being. I was tired from the journey and decided to lay down on the downstairs bed for a bit that I found, but then K came into the room and was surprised to see me. 

The kids are grown in this dream, but usually they are still young. In this dream they were in college. The mood of everyone was somber. I didn't understand until I was told that J has opted for euthanasia and today was her last day. I am seeing images of how there was cancer throughout her chest area and instead of waiting for the cancer to spread to her brain, she was opting to be euthanized. I said I didn't realize that they could do that in the state they were in. 

I see J and she is saying her goodbyes to everyone and is crying. I hugged her close and also said goodbye and then she left. 

Everyone left for awhile. I moved upstairs to k and J's bedroom where, once again, I feel so tired that I can't stay awake. I remember my dog wandering around and there being sort of a hidden room that was not easy to get to that she kind of fell into. I went to check on her to make sure she was okay and that she could get back out. She seemed fine.

I laid back down on the bed where I noticed three medium sized older white dogs sleeping on the bed with me. At one point, K returned and saw me resting on the bed. It was then I noticed that in this room there were different sets of animal horns mounted on the walls. There was a very large blue horn protruding from the wall and over me. It didn't seem like the weight of it would allow it to remain, at which point, it gave way and rested on me while not completely detaching from the wall.

Later, the kids are back and they have invited a lot of their friends to remember their mom with. It was mostly Austin's friends, I believe. They mad a procession as they walked single file through the house. As each person passed by me, they touched my feet. I'm not sure why. I vaguely recall seeing the kiss spreading J's ashes into water.

I can't remember anything else.

______________________________

Horace Vernet (1789–1863), The Angel of Death (1851)

Given what I feel J represents to me, I see this as a dream about euthanizing a part for self that is an over achiever and is always trying to be the best because part of them never got the approval they sought from their parents as children. She is the part that sought to be liked by gift buying. She sought approval from those outside of her, but never really gave it to herself, either. She is negative self talk thinking she needs to just be better and somehow she is the one who has done something wrong and needs to change. She is the control freak who needs to plan everything to the last detail. 

We can have compassion for those parts of self, but when we grow, heal and change to the point of never needing the approval of others ever again, we are euthanizing a part of self that used to be a source of insecurity and neediness.

The hidden room might represent hodden parts of self that aren't outwardly visible and not easily accessible, but some people we encounter have the ability to access those parts to show us they are there. 

The horns on the wall might represent trophies of achievement. Animals use them to battle each other. Who hasn't played "king of the mountain" where, like Billy goats, you try to butt someone else off. The massive blue horn suggests an achievement in a way of communication that isn't working because it is unstable and poorly mounted....like PR communication put out in the public press and social media that isn't actually true.

The three white dogs were older dogs. White represents masculine and the lighter side. Dogs are loyal and their nature is to travel in packs. They could represent three old loyalties, maybe. I'm not sure. I will have to think about it further.

I'm not entirely sure why the kids were touching my feet, but I am getting images right now of this being done in some sort of religious practice. I will have to look it up.

What I found:

In India, touching the feet of elders is considered to be one of the important common gestures. It is considered to be a way of giving respect to elders and seeking their blessings. Also known as Charan Sparsh, it has been followed for ages, probably since the Vedic period.

Children from a small age are taught to touch the feet of their elders and there is a beautiful reason for doing it. You must have seen that before commencing any job or leaving for work, or after coming home or meeting someone after a long time, Indians touch the feet of elders. We do it even for older people who are introduced to us for the first time.

It is believed that when a person bows down to touch the feet of elders, the person's ego comes to an end. The person gives respect to his or elder's wisdom, knowledge, age, and experience. In return, the elders then bless the person.

Scientific Reason Behind Touching Feet

1. It is said that the human body contains negative and positive current. The left side of the body is said to carry the negative current while the right side of the body carries positive energy. When a person touches the feet of another person, the two bodies connect with each other, which creates a complete circuit of positive and negative energy. [Source]