By The Power of Grayskull

I have the power!

They want me to write, but I'm not entirely sure what they want me to write. The title is just something that came to me as I sat here thinking about a bit of dream from last night where an octopus showed up at someone's wedding preparations. It was amongst the grapes that were being used for decorations and the woman planning the wedding wasn't sure how she was going to get rid of it. She saw it as dangerous. 

It made me consider a nickname I've been given in a chat...okto, which is simply shortening my name, Oktobre. "She sees you as a threat," I heard as I laid pondering before I got up.

I keep dreaming about "her" being a "soul eater". I half wanted to post in chat, "do you think soul eaters are real?" 

Yes, Oktobre is back and she is stronger than she was before. She learns from all of the accumulated experiences of the collective within the body and uses those experiences to help her grow.  Letting the boys drive was definitely a valuable experience. Bunny is very different than Alien.

Art by Andy Gosling

I had a dream while BadBleuBunny was driving about a man coming back from the dead, but he nor I was sure about who he was. He said, "You know how you make quilts and take pieces and put them together? That's what I do but only with food. So I guess I am a chef."

I considered the symbolic meaning of this and how the feminine part of me is adept at recognizing patterns and lessons and putting it all together. She takes bits of art and lessons and puts it together on Instagram which, to some, looks very much like a quilt.

This chef (BadBleuBunny) part of me was doing something similar only in a different way. He was bringing things together to create something new from it...even if it was more to pour it scalding hot over the heads of some who didn't want to eat it. It wasn't about beauty, aesthetics and growth, it was about justice and holding people accountable, which makes me wonder why this part that has come back to life wasn't seen as a police officer, instead.

Art by aliciainspace (Instagram)

Bunny was born from SumBlueAlien. Alien aka Noah, is the masculine part of me who really just wants to laugh and play. He's silly and fun, but this other one kept pushing through and taking over, so BadBleuBunny was given his own space and place to express himself so that Noah could keep doing his thing as well. 

When it came time for Oktobre, the wise witchy feminine, to come back, Bunny willingly stepped aside, but we didn't want to kill him. There is value in what he brings to the table, so we kept his account open in case he has further things to express about other subjects as well. We don't want to destroy what has been born within us.

Is this confusing to you? Probably, but it isn't confusing to me. I guess some would call me non-binary, but I am comfortable with the pronouns given to the body, which is female. Biology is biology and the body is female.  I know and acknowledge I am a collective, as we all are, but few of us take the time to understand and recognize the differences in the many aspects of self. I give mine outlets for expression and sometimes name them.

It makes me think of the new Matrix Resurrections movie that was just released and has had scathing reviews. I haven't seen the movie, so can only go on what I have read and know. 

This idea of choosing red or blue pills is really about choosing feminine/red or blue/masculine and it should never be about choosing one or the other. Choosing one leaves the host out of balance. Rejecting a whole part of you leaves you internally in conflict and puts a muzzle on the masculine. 

WE NEED BOTH!!!

The interesting thing is, the masculine rules the feminine side and the feminine rules the masculine side.  In symbolism, the left is considered feminine, but left brain controls the right/masculine side. Do you see what I mean? So that creativeness we attribute to being feminine is actually masculine. That logical side we say is masculine is actually feminine.

Masculine is output and feminine is input. We need both functions both internally and externally in all aspects of life. The combination is what creates flow instead of resistance.

I have always thought the Matrix series was greatly flawed and the most recent one seems even more so.

Going back to being seen as a threat by "her, the soul eater", someone in chat was giving me a lot of credit for having a lot of power to cyber attack the chat site and buy people off to get them to close their IG accounts. It made me laugh out loud. The paranoia of some people is pretty funny. 

I don't really care what people think about me and I feel no need to defend myself or my story against nonsense. 

There is great power in knowing yourself...all aspects of self... and having the willingness to grow and evolve as we go. There is great power in releasing the baggage we accumulated along the way through unhealthy experiences that contributed to negative thought patterns and behaviors. The only power I have, really, is the power of example. I share my story and what I learn and maybe someone will take those nuggets of information with them and it will help them transform their life as well. 

Number 8 by Erté

Everyone is capable of change should they choose it. I know my change has been profound, but every day, I seem to change a little more. It's never ending...like an 8 turned sideways. An octopus has 8 legs and octo/okto means 8. 

Letter O by Erté

Maybe I'm a threat only to the old version of me. I don't really know...and I'm okay now with not having all the answers. 

Even Petar Pan is capable of growing up, being honest, choosing to leave Neverland and reaching out. He wouldn't be turned away if he wanted to talk about it all. Forgiveness is a super power, too.