You Attract What You Are...Correction

"You attract what you are."

I said this in a previous blog post and it has been bothering me. Something is off with this idea. I mean, it is true to a certain degree, but not entirely.

You see, I don't think any of us started out as anything other than purity when we entered the game and started running on the reincarnation hamster wheel. Some people are biologically wired to be fucked up and those people aren't "bad" because they chose a role that kind of sucks to either help those around them get lessons or to balance out karma. And when I say "karma", I really think it is more about playing a role that is "walking a mile in their shoes" to teach empathy. The best way to learn empathy is to experience what the other person has experienced.

I think at our core, all of us are PURE LOVE, it is just, a lot of us have forgotten who we really are. Even if our entire internal population die off and there's nothing but ghosts and zombies, that love core can never die....ever. It may be buried under layers of ice and be locked away in the most secure fortress, but it DOES exist and as long as it exists it is always possible to eventually journey to the center of self and free the pureness that exists inside each of us.

With that in mind, I now think it is more appropriate to say that we attract what we believe we are. We attract what we think and say to ourselves. If we don't value ourselves, we will attract people who don't value us to perpetuate our negative self talk.

There is another layer we can add to this as well. I think we sometimes attract who we need, those who can help us expand and grow, those who happily offer what we never got in childhood but needed. There are all of these "random" encounters in our lives that wind up being more like an intricate dance where both parties are offered opportunities to grow when they engage with each other...even briefly.

What if, instead of Courtney Love, Kurt Cobain met someone who was well balanced and self aware? What if that person was able to offer him the comfort and nurturing he so desperately needed? What if?

I definitely know I was far from well balanced and self aware back when he and I were both in our twenties. I was socially awkward. I didn't talk much because I felt too stupid in the social setting. I just observed, mostly. I watched other people have fun and wondered why it felt impossible for me to feel happy. I had so much self loathing, it is truly amazing I had any friends at all. From what I have read, Kurt was rather similar, so had we met, it would be the pot meeting kettle.

The big difference between me and Kurt is the choices we made in our form of escapism. He chose drugs, I wrote and went inside my head where I would live out the life I wished I had. Coffee and cigarettes were my addictions back then. I haven't smoked for a long time and I have tried to break up with coffee from time to time, but it seems like a lover I'm not going to give up in this life.

Since I have started this journey, pretty much all of my old friends fell away...some more dramatically than others. I developed new friends as I grew and those friends fell away when I grew even more and needed new lessons. I don't take it personally anymore when people come and go. I have learned to let go with love.

Maybe you, reader, are someone I am attracting into my life. Maybe you are attracting me if you stumbled upon my blog and feel compelled to ask a question. If you reach out to me virtually or as you pass me on the street, I understand now you have something to teach me about myself and vice versa if you are in a place to see the lesson and gift the encounter can be.