August 5, 2019 I heard someone say "He isn't going to to help us" this morning.
I didn't really understand what was said to me and mostly brushed it off. Later that day I would get the bright idea to ask Tom Grant to help me. I considered he may know some of the answers to my questions I had based on dream information I was getting about Kurt Cobain and what happened to him.
Of course, I knew it was a long shot and when I didn't hear back from Tom, I knew what the in-between communication was meaning. Tom Grant wasn't going to help us.
I feel the interpretation of the dream is important and worth sharing. When I first had the dream, I had no idea what it could possibly mean. Fast forward to developing my dream interpretation skills and I was absolutely stunned by the message I could now see. It was like learning secret code and I had to gather several pieces of the decoder for it to make sense.
Here is my email to Tom Grant:
Hi Tom
I recently watched your movie and found it very interesting because so many pieces of information shared matched what I have been seeing in dreams.
Let me introduce myself, my name is Oktobre. I grew up in Missouri. I liked Nirvana's music, but I was never a fan. When I heard about Kurt's "suicide", I felt nothing but judgment that perhaps he was really selfish to do that to his family.
I moved to Portland, Oregon in 1994 where I went to nanny school and then took a job in Michigan in 1995. I used to write in a journal regularly so was able to look back at some of my dreams and remember that some spirit was trying to come through to me in dreams. I shrugged it off and just lived my life.
Ten years later, I eventually moved back to Portland, where I currently reside. In 2008 i gave birth to my daughter and decided to stop working and stay at home to raise my child. In 2010, I got a call from my former employer telling me that his ex-wife, the mom of the kids I helped raise, had killed herself. She was a vascular surgeon.
At that point I considered myself an atheist. Her death shook me but it wasn't until my furry best friend died in my arms in 2011 that I began to start seriously searching for what I believed and if there was anything after death. This is the point in which I started my spiritual journey.
It was embarking on a spiritual journey that helped me understand that I get the majority of my information through dreams. At the beginning of it all, there had been strong spirit activity around me. My daughter was quite young at the time and she would see and hear things that I couldn't.
When I realized my dreams were my strong point, I started writing them down. I have been writing them for several years. A curious thing started to take place and I started dreaming about Kurt Cobain specifically. This happened during a time when I suddenly started having massive head pain and thought I must be dying. It was excruciating. It started at my left jaw, went up into the left side of my brain and the left eye. I have always gotten menstrual migraines, but this felt different.
So when the dreams started about Kurt, I wondered if my pain matched the pattern the bullet took on entry, so I set off to read the autopsy report and was surprised it wasn't available. I was able to gather enough information to confirm that the damage to Kurt's head and face was located on the left side.
You have to understand that up until this point I had always assumed it was a suicide....and then I started digging through old dreams and could easily see that Kurt had been permeating them all wearing different faces as a means to bring information forward. I still have yet to comb through it all. It is overwhelming how much I need to go through, but then it occurred to me, "What am I supposed to do with any of this?" I have so many questions based on what I have been shown and I considered that maybe you could confirm some of what I have seen. Maybe there are directions you have traveled in your investigation that you never revealed to the public and somehow we can help each other.
Part of me feels stupid reaching out to you. You are all about science and physical evidence and I am all about spirituality. But I think we both want the same thing....the truth to be revealed and those who are responsible to be held accountable. Maybe there is something in my dreams that can give you new solid evidence to prove what you have been saying all along. I really don't know.
My thoughts, beliefs and ideas are way out there and all of that can be easily seen on my blog and social media which is all pretty public. I have no interest in profiting. What I write and share is catharsis. It is me trying to work it all out while also trying to become the best version of me that I can. I have never been a big risk taker, so drugs have never held temptation for me. I tried smoking pot at age 20 and absolutely hated the experience and never tried it again.
Let me give you an example of one of my dreams and how I can read it now in a way I couldn't when I first had it. I often dream through the eyes of other people. I will share some of what I see after the dream.
Dream Journal Entry: August 14, 2015 I dreamed people were trying to kill me. Three different times attempts were made to kill me. I can't remember specifically now what was involved in the attempts but I remember thinking that I needed to buy a gun because I wasn't going to just sit back and let them take me easily. It wasn't just me they were trying to kill. There was at least one other person (female) with me. Then at one point I was making out with one of the people who tried to kill me. Inara went down into a big hole in the ground with rocks because she thought it would be fun and I was furious with her for not listening and going anyway. She had trouble getting out and I said we would likely have to call the police. But she jumped and managed to grab hold of a ledge and pulled herself up. There was a bit where we had to try to learn this line in korean. I don't even know what it meant but we had to learn this line in case we needed it. I was thinking that at least the french line I had to have before only had to be written. I didn't have to memorize it. I didn't think I would be able to remember and was hoping that one of the other two would remember the line in case it was needed. We come to this place and go inside. There are gorilla like animals everywhere. There are some up high on what seems almost like a stage but is too high for a stage. There was one that could speak and that is the one I guess we came for. It seemed that most of the others were sleeping. There was one that was giant and I think they called this the neverbeast (from Inara's movie) and it was white and had his back toward us while he slept. I was given a giant bag of peanuts and I wasn't sure what to do with them. I was thinking they were for the animals but I didn't want to throw them up and wake up the others so I waited. At first I was standing by the wall and stepped in what I guessed was gorilla poop and tried to rub it off my shoe but it was kind of sticky. The floor seemed covered in a combination of saw dust and peanut shells. I went to the picnic table with the others and sat nibbling on the peanuts. At some point the talking gorilla went into an opening and disappeared. Then an actual stage appeared below where the gorillas were and these people dressed as gorillas and playing instruments came out and started performing. One appeared to be on stilts because he was unnaturally tall and he walked out into the audience and then went back to the stage. Their faces were not covered so it was really obvious they were just dressed as gorillas. I don't remember much else from that scene.
I also was seeing Ariana, Deryck's fiance, and heard this sentence "Deryck is the name of my estate sale." I have no idea if it actually means anything.
At some point I was with my BFF Shannon and she starts cutting my hair. Apparently she is trained to cut hair and I never knew. She seemed to know what she was doing so I thought I would let her do what she felt best for my hair. Her bangs were blue and green colored. She tried to curl my bangs and couldn't get them to do what she wanted so I asked her to let me try. I thought maybe she was trying to curl them the wrong direction. The barrel of the curling iron was gold. I tried once and I couldn't quite get a good curl either so I tried again and when I did, the barrel was so hot that my forefinger on my right hand became stuck on the barrel as it burned. And then my thumb touched the barrel and got stuck too. When I finally was able to free myself, my fore finger was blistered but I didn't notice any pain and thought that was fortunate. I think we left off trying to curl my hair.
I remember hearing music. It was supposed to be Aleka's Attic (River's band) songs from the never released Never Odd or Even album. Some of the online versions are very poor for the songs and what I was hearing was clear and full sounding. It was really lovely and I remember being amazed and then I started to rouse.
Comments and observations:
Dreams are highly symbolic and sometimes I have to flip them to understand. Gorillas are a very large form of monkey. When I see monkeys, I think "monkey on their back". Addictions are often seen as a monkey on someone's back. A very large addiction could be seen as a gorilla. Them being placed up high and sleeping speaks to me of them being "high and sleeping". But the white one goes down to the stage and performs in a band. Being elevated speaks of his importance. "A head above the rest" comes to mind. The ones who aren't really gorillas but pretending could be seen as bandmates who didn't partake in those kinds of activities but people think they do.
The attempts on his/my life could mean Kurt was aware someone was trying to kill him. Rome was no accident and he knew it. Kissing someone who had tried to kill him was him pretending with Courtney that everything was okay. He bought the gun for his protection. The mention of my daughter falling into a "hole" feels like a reference to her band, Hole. Or maybe it was somehow related to his own daughter that I don't yet understand.
I have no way of knowing if Kurt's hand was burned when they fired the gun, but the curling iron seems to be a way for the word "barrel" to come out. Someone had to have held his hand on the barrel and when it was fired, it locked in place. He couldn't feel the pain because he was either dead or too high. I'm not sure which. While I know it was his left hand holding the barrel after I researched, right in symbolism represents the masculine so it tells me the injuries are actually related to a man. The color gold represents the sun which tells me this took place in the daytime. My best friend being present tells me that someone Kurt trusted took part in his murder.
Deryck is a small blonde rock star and Ari is now his wife. A reference to an estate sale is usually related to someone who has died. So in that segment I was seeing as the wife of a dead rock star. Do you see how it all fits together?
The River Phoenix reference seems to be about his home recordings that would later be released. There seems to be parallels to Kurt and River's cases.The biggest difference is that the public don't think River killed himself and are then using it as a compass and reason for ending their own lives.
In your movie, by the time of release, there had been 68 copycat suicides. I was born in 1968.
I have had so many people named Tom show up in my dreams. I even had one where I joined the police force.
The above is just one dream of SO many. I just re-read one that talked about a death plot and the nanny trying to kill the rock star father. I was a former nanny in that dream.
I will understand if this is just too "out there" for you, but I think Kurt wants kids to stop killing themselves in his name just like you do. He didn't kill himself. He was murdered.
Sincerely,
Oktobre Taylor
Conspiracy Theory
Based on dreams I have had, I will go a step further and say that Courtney had cheated on Kurt throughout their entire relationship. I think when she got pregnant, she didn't actually know whose it was but chose to tell Kurt the baby was his because she felt he would do anything for her. He loved her, but had he known there was a possibility the baby wasn't his, I don't think he would have been so quick to make a legal commitment to her.
My dreams seem to indicate that Kurt is not Frances Bean's biological father. If you look at photos of Frances Bean pre plastic surgery, it is much more obvious there is no resemblance whatsoever to Kurt. She resembles her mother and Billy Corgan. Billy Corgan has a very rounded head and pre surgery, this was much more noticeable. Post Surgery, Frances does not look like the same person at all.
Why would Courtney encourage her daughter to go through a surgical transformation? Because she too could see how obvious it was that Frances looked nothing like Kurt. Courtney didn't want people to start asking questions.
Obviously this is all just conjecture based on what I have seen in dreams. I could be completely wrong but I could be completely right too.
What if Kurt found out that Frances wasn't his? What if that is why there was such a mad dash to change his will near the end but he never got a chance to?
Things that make you go hmmmm....
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