A friend was asking about a revelation I made and was talking about with her. The revelation was how Kurt Cobain was right handed but played guitar left handed and Keanu Reeves is left handed but plays bass right handed. Understanding how they are mirrors was big for me. It helped me snap another piece or two of my puzzle into place.
The below was the response I gave her. As I typed, I was processing it all in order to try to explain. I came to an understanding I hadn't yet had with all of this Kurt stuff that has come up recently.
Comment to friend:
Think of an ink blot.
Fold the paper.
Kurt and Keanu are like the ink blot One side is reversed to mirror.
But it is more complicated than that. There is a top and bottom and left and right.
Higher mind is top
Heart is bottom
Left is shadow/hard
Right is light/soft
Keanu - Top/shadow
Kurt - Bottom/shadow
Brandon - Top/light
River - Bottom/light
If you look at them all together, they are 4 parts of a larger being...
Input + output = left brain
Input + output = right brain
4 Chambers of the human heart, left distributing blood to one side of the body and right distributing to the other.
What needs to happen is that they all work together.
From an energy perspective, Kurt is left heart and left is the side I have had so many problems with recently. Kidney pain, edema, pain throughout my entire left side. The edema is more pronounced on my left side.
I never was all that interested in Kurt, to be honest. So him representing left heart means a neglect and lack of love given to those shadow aspects of myself. Loving him in all of his flaws is really just loving myself. We had similar issues. Not the drug problem but the inability to feel joy and happiness. We both feel a sense of just wanting out of this life. We both feel we don't really belong in this reality. There is a rage in us that bubbles below the surface that threatens to explode, decimating everything within reach of the toxic gases that spew from our mouths.
But love and understanding can tame and calm this.
Kurt had so much self loathing. His stomach hurt all the time because he couldn't really stomach himself. He hated his life in the public eye because he hated himself and couldn't see his own brilliance. He couldn't understand what everyone saw in him so he thought he hated it all...that whole life. Had he been able to love himself, he could have understood how magnificent he really was and could have found a place of joy and balance.
Interestingly, my left side pain has been subsiding. It is slowly improving...so I guess self reflection is just what the doctor ordered.
 |
| Drawing by Kurt Cobain |
And no more discoveries. More just ponderings.
Like people are shown whomever they need to see in order to see themselves.
Kurt and River are like self love fairies.
The poster boys of what happens if you don't love yourself enough.
Their method of death doesn't matter because the end result was the same.
You attract what you are and the people they attracted weren't good for them.
Hindsight is 20/20. Once you are dead from your choices, it is easy to see where you fucked up.
True love isn't found often because most people don't know how to love themselves.
They don't realize they don't.
Selfishness is often mistaken as self love.
When you truly love self, you become selfless because you can love all aspects of self, therefore those outside of self are easier to love as well.
Exactly! Boundaries are necessary and part of healthy self love practices, but what becomes easier is giving to all of those damaged people what we needed to give ourselves or wished someone had given us when we were at that place in our lives...hence becoming selfless and being of service. Sometimes on our journey we needed people to state their boundaries clearly and gently when we were stepping on toes, which effective non-blaming communication skills are needed to achieve that. Giving to others what we needed back then helps to heal the collective.
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