Dream Journal Entry, Pieces and Parts of Self

Dream Journal Entry: July 6, 2019
I heard myself say, "I never played rich." Which I assume means I didn't pretend to be rich when I was a child. I played school, house, witch, singer, disco, missionary, Snow White talking to forest animals, lost in the wilderness, but never rich and elite.

In dreams when I have been handed a lot of money, I didn't like the responsibility. I have wanted to be comfortable, sure. I grew up poor and am still poor. I abhor greed, but I do want to be comfortable and be able to have my needs met easily.

I also dreamed last night that we each have 4 major parts of ourselves we are trying to bring back together. Think the apocalypse of the four horsemen. Basically what that means is that there will be 4 major people you encounter that will help awaken you to who you are and have been. We earn our parts back from these people. It is impossible not to end up with a version of our partner which has been the carrot dangled in front of us to get us to move in the direction of growth and self awareness. The one you end up with is highly dependent on where you are personally on your journey. The goal is to end up with the most evolved version... meaning the one who has reclaimed more of their parts.

I get bus references and never completely understood them. I would see bus numbers. I think the numbers indicate how complete we are internally. So, when I was seeing bus 60, I still needed to gather 40 percent of myself. This year I am seeing bus 80, which means I still have 20 percent to go but who the fuck knows what the next lessons might be that will help me earn those parts of me back. It is probably about money and sex/physical intimacy since those are two things absent in my life.