Follow The Kevins

Kevin, the bird from UP.

Jeff Narrating:

I watched Signs again last night.

It keeps getting better every time I see it.

It's funny.

The first time you watch it, it's hard to understand what it's about.

It just sort of meanders.

And then, everything comes together in this one perfect moment at the end.

And when you watch it a second or a third or a fourth time, you start to see that all of this randomness is leading towards a perfect moment.

My favorite character is the little girl.

Everyone thinks she's so strange because she can't finish a glass of water.

She's convinced they're contaminated.

So, by the end of the film, there are glasses of water littered around this house.

And then, it's the water that saves them.

And that was fate.

I can't help but wonder about my fate.

About my destiny.

Renewal.

Vitality.

Energy.

Commercial on the TV:

Are you tired of feeling sluggish?

Do you feel like life is passing you by?

Then we've got the solution for you.

It's called "The Most Incredible Vitamin In The World" and there's a reason you're watching this right now.

Just pick up the phone and start the new chapter to your life.

Call now. Not available in stores.

Made in Germany.

Beware of imitators. Call 1-800...

Jeff's phone rings.

Jeff: Hello?

Wrong caller: Yo, Kevin.

Jeff: No, this is Jeff.

Wrong caller: Where Kevin at?

Jeff: I don't know.

Wrong caller: Oh, man, look, don't be fucking around! Where the fuck is Kevin?

Jeff: Kevin doesn't live here.

Wrong caller: There's always some motherfucker trying to tell me there ain't no Kevin! Let me put this word in your fucking peanut brain, Kevin! K-E-V-I-N! Kevin.

**Excerpt from the transcript of the movie Jeff, Who Lives at Home

The thing is, I live my life this way, I follow the Kevins (signs) in much the way Jeff does in the movie. 

You deactivated your account, Kevin, before my message had a chance to go through. I sent it and got the message "your message failed to send" which is when I tried to understand why. Was I blocked? No, you deactivated.  Well, if you ever come here, this is the last message I sent you:

Sometimes I feel like I am living a real life version of the movie Every Day, or maybe it is more like The Beauty Inside. Maybe the ones who have come to me are all masks of a single person or maybe it is that Spirit steps inside all of them to help me get specific lessons. Either way, the results have been the same. 

I have grown and evolved.

I have loved all of the Kevins I have connected to, even if their names are George, Petar, Kevser, Clown, Kevin, etc. I still love all of them even though they are no longer engaging with me daily. Letting go has definitely been a repeating lesson on my spiritual journey. I have learned and developed and become a better person because of my time spent with each of them. I have had a lot to work through. There's a lot of different ways I needed to change. All of those connections gave me an opportunity to learn about myself through the interactions I had with them about where I needed to change.

Our time was short, Kevin, but very valuable to me. Your presence was a gift that I never expected. With you, I learned that my root chakra isn't entirely dead. A spark still exists inside me. You reconnected me to my roots. I learned that I can still feel passion and desire. I learned I still had negative self beliefs about being tainted which has caused me to try to change my thoughts to "I'm purified". 

Maybe we were only role playing and it was mostly smoke and mirrors, but what I learned about myself, like the pattern of making assumptions and walking away, put a spotlight on areas of communication I need to work on. I need to ask questions and get clarification instead of assuming. I shouldn't always think the worst case scenario, that people will turn on me and abandon me. 

Kevin in Home Alone.

Well, you did abandon me, Kevin, but I learned that it's okay because I haven't abandoned myself.

I also learned that sexual attraction is such a small part of the equation for me, but it is important to have that spark with a partner. It's valuable to feel that desire, yet without a strong foundation based in communication, mutual respect, mutual interest, any relationship will crumble and fall apart. A beautiful penis won't get you far with me because I need deep conversation, I need to feel connection on other levels, as well, in order to feel stimulated on a more long term basis.

Thank you, Kevin. ❤️

I'm grateful to you and to all of the Kevins who helped hold a mirror up to show me where I needed to change. 

I'm grateful to myself for being open, honest and willing to heal my wounds and work to put into practice those changes on a daily basis.

The thing is, Kevin, I love me and I trust the guidance that comes into me, no matter how crazy it sounds to others. All of that guidance always points to one person as being "the one" for me, no matter how much I am in denial about it, at times. Maybe you are just a puppet on his hand, a brain child meant to test me, but it's all ham and lemonade to me. You know me, I take those pigs and lemons and turn them into something tasty and nourishing for my own soul. I make my own food and fill my own cups, now, because this journey I have been on has taught me how to do that.

Regardless of whether or not you are a real person, Kevin, I wish you a happy and fulfilled life.

Regardless of whether or not my "one" ever has the courage to step forward out of the shadows and meet me face to face, I love him unconditionally. That love can either be given at a distance telepathically or up close and personal. It's up to him. If he has any doubts about where I currently stand, the option of partnership for us is still on the table, he simply has to choose it and actually make a move towards that outcome. I would say "yes" if he asked me.

Either way, I will keep going like an Energizer bunny.