He's Standing Up For Me

Photo by Issac Marion

Dream Journal Entry: February 10, 2022

I dreamed that I became romantically involved with a man who seems to be paralyzed or have a degenerative disorder that left him immobile. It feels like he is supposed to be from a different country...an Islamic one. He is supposed to be Arabic but he doesn't look Arabic at all. 

The place that he has been placed primarily cares for the mentally ill. He isn't mentally ill, but they didn't have anywhere else to place him. It seems that I have been in contact with him mostly through correspondence, but I don't have a sense of what kind. Maybe phone calls and online. We haven't spent time in person, and yet I know I want to be with him and I came to this place to spend time with him in person. He was worried that I wouldn't want to be with him because of his physical problems, but they didn't matter to me. I fell in love with who he is as a person and his physical limitations didn't change that for me. 

I remember encountering some of the people that were placed in this facility with him and I was thinking we needed to arrange to get him out of this place eventually. It wasn't really a nice place. 

I remember kissing him and noticing how very thin and frail he seems to be. I wanted to be careful not to hurt him when I touched him. He is now asking if we can be together intimately, physically. I didn't know if it was even possible for him given his condition, but I was willing to try and at least lay with him in bed together.

Before I made a move to be more intimate with him, I went elsewhere in this facility with some of the people there. I can't remember why or what I talked about, but during the interaction, I noticed some poop just slipped out of me spontaneously. Usually scenes like this are about verbally "letting shit out" spontaneously... something that just "comes out" when talking to someone. And poop is all the stuff the body can't use, so it is eliminated. It is the same with emotional stuff/experiences we have held in until it just "slips out" in conversation. In the dream I felt embarrassed and made a move to get cleaned up so I could go be with my guy.

When we come together again, he makes a move to stand up which surprised me and that is when I notice that he is very tall, unnaturally tall. I wondered how that would work with being intimate, but thought we could figure it out. 

His legs weren't strong, so he collapsed, at which point I picked him up. He was very light and easy to carry. I took him to the bedroom and set him down. Again he makes a move to stand. Apparently he has been working on this for awhile because he really wanted to be able to stand up for me. Not only is he standing, but he is also walking now. I woke as he was laying down on the bed with me.

Just before I woke, I saw an image of Hitler sobbing. I don't know what that means.