Tornado Magnets

Collage Art by Caitlyn Grabenstein  aka cult.class

Dream Journal Entry: January 20, 2022

I dreamed about Laura Jane Grace again. I'm always in awe of her, but cautious because I'm not always sure how she will receive me. I'm at her place and was happy she was allowing me to linger here with her. I can't remember what we talked about, but she was going to allow me to stay the night. There was something about accidentally getting tar on her floor and I was working to clean it up. I wanted to kiss her but resisted the urge.

There was something about trailers and how tornadoes seem to be magnetically drawn to them. I considered this is why I dream a lot about people living in trailers. Trailers magnetically draw in tornadoes. Being an air sign, I can see myself being a tornado. I have told people that my full name is Oktobre Winds of Change.

The dream jumps and now I am seeing two laundry baskets with nothing but a single pillow in each one. They had been set out to be taken away as trash. I was annoyed with this as there was nothing wrong with the baskets, they were simply empty of laundry, so I retrieved them and put them back inside. 

Inside this place, there was a couple I found together. He has no legs and she has chosen to be with him. She loves him regardless of his physical limitations and has chosen him. They are close enough together that it is hard to tell where one person started and the other began. But then I see her pull away slightly from him and is starting to cry. Something is wrong. It appears they were trying to have a baby and she is starting to bleed, indicating the pregnancy isn't viable. She is upset about this. But then the scene shifts and now she and her partner have fertilized eggs in two different containers and they are planning to grow their babies there. They seemed to think they could put them in there and just leave them until they were big enough to take out. She said that is was Tina did and they were going to try it, too. I was dubious and told them I thought they needed to tend to the fertilized eggs to make sure they develop and have what they needed to grow.

There was something about toys in this place and deciding to leave them there to come back to and be used in this place so others could use them, too. It doesn't feel like a private home, but a public place but not incredibly busy and out in the open.

I also vaguely recall a scene of traveling down an icy path with Inara and Amrik. I had a vehicle that feels like a snowmobile or motorcycle I was walking, but then got up to a road and turned the vehicle around, got on, to go back the way we came, but on the road. Inara got on the vehicle with me. Amrik was further behind. I planned to pick him up and hoped there was room for all of us on this vehicle. I woke up there.

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Collage Art by Caitlyn Grabenstein aka cult.class

"In an effort to better grasp where exactly tornadoes tend to touch down, Purdue researchers concluded that twisters have a statistical preference for causing the most damage in so-called “transition zones” — geographic areas where two distinct types of landscapes meet and dramatically change. Examples include the fringe areas that fall between built-up suburban sprawl and rural farmland, dense forests and rolling plains. More often than not, these sparsely developed, lowly populated outskirts are where mobile home communities can be found in the greatest numbers." (Source)

From a symbolic perspective, people living in a trailer are those in "transitional areas". The term "trans" is important here because it echoes in the dream. Laura Jane Grace is considered "trans" but, in a spiritual sense, we could see it as the same as transformational. She represents change in action, change embodied and I was so in awe of her.

trans-

word-forming element meaning "across, beyond, through, on the other side of, to go beyond," from Latin trans (prep.) "across, over, beyond," perhaps originally present participle of a verb *trare-, meaning "to cross," from PIE *tra-, variant of root *tere- (2) "cross over, pass through, overcome." In chemical use indicating "a compound in which two characteristic groups are situated on opposite sides of an axis of a molecule" [Flood]. (Source)

Tornadoes can be seen as a transformational tool in much the same way as the Tower card in tarot. Tornadoes have the ability to wipe out what exists so that something new can be built in its place. It could be seen as a new way of thinking that blows in and sweeps out the old beliefs that no longer serve us.

The guy with no legs seems to be a recurring theme in my dreams. I have wondered if it is a reference to a real person I have yet to meet or if it is simply a symbolic representation of someone who hasn't brought their inner masculine and feminine together as one thing yet, but are trying to birth something forward from their union. Think, "twin flames in separation". Perhaps this is a visual representation of that. I was telling them they had to tend to the fertilized eggs to make sure they develop correctly and have everything they need. This could represent birthing a new version of ourselves, or birthing new ideas. Either way, I thought they shouldn't just leave them, hoping that they would develop on their own. 

To be skilled gardeners of our internal worlds, we have to be willing to put in the effort required to cultivate what we hope to achieve. A lot of effort and attention goes into a healthy and abundant garden, and so the same is true for us and our internal garden.

I think the goal for the couple in the dream would be to eventually see them as someone like Laura, masculine and feminine comfortably embodied as one thing. To see them still divided illustrates that there is still work to do.

I have definitely come to a point on my journey where I can comfortably say that I am a hermaphrodite internally. I know this as fact. Sometimes the male parts of self take over and sometimes the female parts do, but the collective "I" am comfortable being both. That doesn't mean I need to be called "he" or "him" at anytime because the body we inhabit is biologically female and we are not at war with the body. We love and accept the body, therefore, the pronouns that match the biology of the body we accept, as well.

Loving the body is part of the journey back to self and self love. I think it is highly detrimental when a person wants to start cutting parts of themselves off to embody who they feel they are inside. It is highly detrimental to our inner population when we want to destroy a whole half of who we are and deny their existence within us.

I think we need to be comfortable expressing both at different times when and how we feel we need to. Maybe that looks like wearing a dress and make up one day, but being comfortable wearing a suit and tie the next. 

We don't have to be one thing always and forever, because, the truth is, all of us are many internally. All of us are multifaceted with many aspects to who we are that want to shine at different times. It should be our goal to comfortably allow those aspects to shine when they ask to come forward, no matter the gender of their expression.

I am one, but within the one, we are many. I love that and embrace that about me.