Dear Pighoes

Q: Why a jellyfish? A: Because it has no spine.

Keanu Reeves is, indeed, an angel...a fallen one who had his wings cut away. He definitely has a darkness inside of him that most would run from if they could truly see. The things he fantasizes about are bloody and terrifying. He fantasizes about it because he feels so out of control of his life. When he should speak up and out and advocate for himself, he eats his own voice, stuffs it deep down and walks away fantasizing about ripping those people apart in his mind. It alleviates some of the pressure of the pent up rage he feels. 

Like attracts like. 

I am no different. I have done the same in different ways... cutting the head from someone who pisses me off in my mind but offering words of compliance outwardly. I have imagined destroying the entire planet a number of times. I understand rage. I understand not speaking up for myself and stuffing down my own voice to take the safe route.

The rage has a way of building and consuming us from the inside out. When you become dead inside, you don't care who you hurt. You have no issue fucking them before they have a chance of fucking you because you know how this goes, you have played it out before. 

And the darkness grows the longer we are the walking dead. 

It doesn't have to remain that way. We can choose to accept our own voice back into ourselves and actually use it in a constructive way by communicating our needs and feelings without rage and braving the possibility of displeasing someone, being okay with the outcome regardless of what it is. Risk is hard. 

"But if I speak up, I will lose my job."

So? Maybe that is what needs to happen. The more we stick with something that isn't really a fit with who we are and honoring our needs, we become physically ill. 

And before you know it, you end up terminal because you can't live with all the pieces you cut off of yourself... especially your tongue that allows you to speak your truth if you use it correctly.

Keanu might have fallen into the deepest darkest places of himself, but he is capable of making different choices if he wants to. It is only too late to change when you are 6 feet under in your grave.

A hand is being offered to him in these words to help him out of the dirt he has been piling onto himself. He just has to choose to actually take it and put it into action.