An Open Letter to Jeffrey Lee

The eruption of Mount St. Helens, 1980.

Dear Jeffrey,

How did we get to this place? It feels rather like we are in that part of the movie where Tiger is being told he has to kill his opponent. It feels like we are still playing the game and being manipulated. 

I know it is going to disappoint the ones watching, but I don't want to kill you. The game is "turn a good person bad". I'm not calling anyone other than who I already did.  I don't hate you. I don't like what you did, but I don't hate you. I don't want to destroy you. 

In fact, I think we are probably rather alike in many ways. You shape young minds through being a school teacher and I have shaped young minds through being a nanny for 17 years and now a mother. We become starved for adult interaction and we turn to the internet to fill a need. We both have used it for a long time where it has become so normal that we almost prefer it to having to deal with people face to face. It is easier to say what you want to say in written form. 

I don't know how you got roped into the sadistic games and using your message board for those purposes, but it feels like your buddies kind of turned on you and were egging me on to destroy your life. People who would do that aren't friends. 

I feel like there is a you who is better than what I have witnessed. There is a you who gets excited to create fun videos for the school. There is a you who loves music and communicates easily through it. There is a you who loves to travel and experience new things. But there is also a you who is lonely, just like me. We wouldn't both spend so much time online talking to strangers if we weren't both so lonely. 

I once offered to be your friend and I meant it sincerely, but I understand that there might be too much water under the bridge to ever get there now. 

I honestly wish for you a happy, healthy life. I wish for you many blessings and in person friends who make you want to spend less time online and more time engaging in fulfilling activities.  I wish the same for me.

Peace to you, brother. May God be with you always.

Oktobre