My Guardian Angel is a Dick

Dream Journal Entry: February 27, 2021

I dreamed I was someplace that feels like a classroom. I am seeing what looks like a giant map on the wall and there is all kinds of information about a family tree and where different lines came from. There is an older woman here I identify as a teacher and she is smiling at me gazing at the big genealogy map. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" she said to me. I agreed that it was very impressive with all of its details. There were two little people here and one of them met a girl he liked but they needed time alone together. They ducked into an enclosure within the classroom where no one could see them to have this intimate experience. The elderly woman was pleased and supported this saying, "let's give them quiet and not disturb them." 

Apparently there were special steps that the little man had to take in order to make this happen. He made a grilled peanut butter sandwich, cut it into fours to eat and then he had to take a drug. If he fell asleep while on the drug, he needed someone to help wake him up so he didn't die completely. Apparently this particular little man was very adept with his fingers and he knew just where to touch a woman and what buttons to press inside to make her feel extreme pleasure. I thought I would like to experience this so set out to make my own warm peanut butter sandwich. I considered maybe I wouldn't need the drugs. 

They are showing me the little man and said, "He is your guardian angel." I was confused and they repeated, "That one is your guardian angel."

The scene shifts. I need to use a bathroom but the toilet I first go into seems like it is for a child and much to small for me. I thought I probably wouldn't even be able to get through the door it was so small. 

I remember seeing a sore on my right eyelid and it feels like this was recurring and happened after someone kissed me there.

The scene shifts again and now I am at the home of the two little men and a daughter. There was something about wax getting all over because I forgot and left a candle burning. I offered to help clean it up since it was my mistake of leaving it burning. I remember seeing the father of these three but I can no longer remember what took place. 

There was a different dream about visiting this house of someone I dislike very much. She had just moved here and I am snooping around. It is a large house. I referred to her as Alexandra Law but in reality, she has a different last name. I discovered she was home and moved to quickly leave the house. There was a dog at the door who was blocking the way but I swung the door open roughly which accidentally hurt the dog's foot. I shut the door behind me and went quickly away.

As I woke and processed the dreams, I didn't know if I should laugh or groan. 

The first set of "little man" dreams is clearly someone's penis. I'm not sure why there were two there. The "little man" needs a medication to help him be intimate and if the erection starts to fall asleep, he needs help waking back up. 

This dream seems to suggest that my "guardian angel" and guide who has been giving me information is someone's dick who died and that is why he is with me in spirit. 

You know how they jest about how "the little man is running the show," but what if someone whose penis "died" and suffers from erectile dysfunction had that energy leave their body and seek out someone so he could guide them both? He guides me with dreams, I write about the dreams and in turn guide the bigger part of him. 

The only problem is that the bigger part of him isn't communicating, so I have no idea what is accurate and what isn't in regard to my dreams. Have they helped him at all? I don't know.

I thought for awhile that someone was trying to kill him off because of what he supposedly did to Jennifer, but i now understand that rage and revenge is his own anger and hate for himself and the choices he made that killed off his dick. Lol Not to laugh at his pain but my guardian angel is a dick.

Source

Death is an Old Friend, Ladyboys Dreams

there is no need to be upset by Piotr Janusz

February 17, 2021

I dreamed about Kurt Cobain all night. I can't remember a lot but do remember being in a forest. Sometimes it feels like he is dead and yet it feels like he is still with me in spirit. It feels like I am trying to learn something about him and there are some people who want to prevent it. I come up to an area and I see a being I identify as "Death" and I am saying that I'm not concerned if he sees me. I said, "Death is an old friend. He never ever sleeps." But I do make an effort to not upset him as I pass by. 

it is preferable not to travel with a dead man by Piotr Janusz

It feels like I am trying to make my way somewhere and now it feels like I have come upon Kurt's house and it seems like an odd juxtaposition because sometimes we are talking about Kurt as having died and at other times he is present as a child. 

There is something odd about how we are seeing him as a young boy before the babysitter touched him inappropriately and gave him a STD that he had to live with his entire life. 

I interact with the boy version but then also engage with the family about the now dead one.

Courtney Love is there and I am wondering why she is there socializing with the family. I considered they didn't know yet she was connected to his death. 

There was something about a chair I was sitting on. Apparently it was one of the more comfortable ones and some woman wanted my seat. I think I got up and allowed her to have it but sat in the big recliner (ladyboy/lazyboy). Someone saw me sitting in the recliner and thought Kurt, the grown up version and not dead one, would be upset to see me sitting in his chair. I said I wasn't going to sit there long so it shouldn't be a problem. I then got up and went outside. I had been holding this mossy branch that had a cluster of mushrooms (fun guys?) on it and I took it to a certain location to shake it off for some reason I can no longer remember. His family who had been inside had followed me out to see what I was doing. 

Now I seem to be standing next to some outdoor counter like area. I am leaning against it with my arm propped on it. I notice a space behind the raised counter and noticed some empty dirty shot glasses that had been shoved out of sight. I considered that this was signs of some former party Kurt had had and the maid who cleaned up had missed them in her cleaning. I'm pulling shot glass after shot glass out and someone, Kurt, I think, said they would have to talk to the maid about taking care of it. I started to wake there.

shaman by Piotr Janusz

February 18, 2021 

I dreamed something about being in a ladyboy (autocorrected from lazyboy*) recliner. Some guy had laid back on top of me. I saw Brandon Lee and he could still see me and was smiling at me from across the room and waving.

Later I dreamed about doing a lot of moving. In one dream I was leaving Oregon and I was sad about it.

It shifted from moving to fleeing, it seemed. Lots of people were crammed onto these airplanes which is where I got separated from my partner. I couldn't say who he was, just that I didn't want to be separated from him but we were both on the same plane, so I thought we could find each other again later.

When the plane landed, we got herded into the direction of waiting vehicles and I got in the back of a truck with a refrigerator being transported. (Refrigerators show up in dreams because they run.) People are saying that all of these people are being taken to New York (the big apple = heart chakra) to a work camp and it is hard there. It made me nervous so I got out of the truck and determine I will stay here in Chicago. 

The scene shifts and somehow I find my partner here and he has been waiting for me and had never intended to move all the way to New York. He has a place already set up. There seems to be other people here too. 

I'm hearing words come from a device and I am writing them down. Suddenly, several words are coming in quickly and I am trying to remember them all to write them down. The message was coming through too quickly to write down and what is being said is that I have been communicating with aliens through this device all along. I start to freak out a little and vocalize in surprise. The aliens are causing me to float. 

There is an Asian mailman (mailmen deliver messages) here with us and his legs seem unusually skinny... like there was something wrong with them. The muscles seemed atrophied. The aliens are conjuring up a new body for this man if he wants it but then they are showing him what happened to this body. They reverse time in images in front of us until we see the mailman opening a can of something to eat and it is supposedly moray eel. This is the point in which he ate something that caused all of his issues with his legs.

The mailman happily accepted the chance at a healthy body.

The scene jumps. Now I am moving again... packing up and going through things. I'm throwing things away I don't need. Among the things I am going through I find what looks like a pair of thick glasses that I identify as belonging to my friend Cary who is an artist. I'm guessing she forgot them here as she was moving out too. I determined that I would hang onto them until I could get them back to her, but when I took hold of the glasses, they morphed into what looked like a combination of a smart phone and a remote control. I accidentally pressed something and it was like it drew up some pay-per-view programming. I tried to get out of it quickly and set it aside.

Comments to a friend about the above and below paragraphs:

He is going to have to fight her in court and expose his own questionable behavior if he wants to be free of her.

That is what it means to step into the light... you expose yourself and face the fire so, ultimately, you can be free. Where there are lies and deception, bondage will remain. He has to tell the truth to gain his freedom.

There have been other mentions of multiple phones in dreams but I didn't know about cloning back then so I didn't understand.

The cloned phone was his. She found it and is using it to get what she wants.

It is the only way to liberation.

The truth will set you free.

He has to face his fears.

When he takes responsibility out in the open for the world to see, then he will be free.

It isn't lost on me that he invaded my privacy.

I was thankful that I didn't seem to have too much to take with me and there wasn't much left to clear out. I remember stabbing some Valentine's Day helium balloons and discarding them. I remember finding a bag that had various hairbands meant for pushing the hair back. There were some I think I would keep like the nude colored one, a white one and a wide black one that I had been looking for for ages. They needed to be washed, but there wasn't time. I would have to do it later when I got to the new location. I remember finding a large fabric rose and threw this away.

Maxfield Parrish

When it was time to go, I remember driving and the landscape was actually beautiful. The sky was bright blue with big puffy white clouds, the kind that Maxfield Parish was famous for painting. I considered how beautiful it was here in my home town in Missouri (Missouri means "land of the canoe people") at the moment that I was leaving it for good.  I woke up there.

I just remembered a bit about seeing Gary Numan (New Man) and someone saying that they wished he wouldn't put on his wig all the time. The wig was white and longish hair.

Beards, Selling Photos and Retirement Communities Dream

All Images by Caitlyn Grabenstein aka cult.class

Dream Journal Entry: November 21, 2020

Sooo many dreams. I will recall the last set first.

I dreamed that I was riding a tiny bike and I am in this community that seems to be for 50 and over. (Ugossip could easily be seen as a "retirement" community.) I stop and end up talking to some woman who seems very friendly. I am telling her that I live over on Sweetwater street and I rode my bike this way to get some fresh air and came to this community.

I think I went home and there was an odd scene where there was this very tall long blonde haired woman with a reddish beard but no mustache. (This made me think of one of Keanu's "beards" aka paid companions. More specifically, Amanda de Cadenet.) She parks her green pick-up truck in front of my house. I am staring at her from my window like neighborhood watch. She sees that I am watching and gets an angry, confrontational look on her face and is heading towards my door. I said out the window, "Do I need to call the police or do you want to talk about this?" She didn't respond and still looked angry. I repeated, "Do I need to call the police?"

She got in her green truck and moved it towards the back somewhere out of sight. I see her walking back towards the front and towards the left down the street to what I guessed was her apartment. I called to her, "Just so you know, I don't mind your truck being parked in front of my house. I'm okay with it." She turned and looked at me in surprise and I was smiling at her. She smiled back and seemingly taken back because it wasn't what she had expected.

Later, I am back at the woman's house who I met in the 50 and older community. I am surprised that she has several small children because typically these communities don't allow children to live in them. I'm looking around at her kids and they are all different ethnicities which makes me wonder if they are adopted. But then I  realized that, not only does she have several children, but she is very pregnant. I'm looking closer and she looks older than she had when I met her before and I was surprised someone older was still having babies. Her husband comes out who is a black man with longer hair. He seems younger than her and he is saying something about how he is REALLY fertile and that it didn't take long for her to get pregnant. I am surprised to learn the other kids are biologically hers which means they must all have different fathers. 

I am asking her about her birthing choices and telling her that I had a water birth. 

I see one of the little girls next to me take a bite of something green on toast. She took a big bite of it. I think her mom is indicating that the food had been for me but i smiled and said it was okay. I'm watching the child with the bite in her mouth but she didn't swallow. She lifts her head up and it is a perfect little tower of food and I laughed and said, "Wow! That's pretty impressive you can do that!" She laughed because it was a game to her.

I pondered this part of the dream as I woke and believe it was talking about someone taking what someone else had said into their mouth and regurgitating it back because it was a game to them. Not swallowing it means they don't believe it themselves, they simply repeated perfectly what was said.

Then later, it seems like there is a party happening and all of these people have shown up. There are several men surrounding the pregnant woman and I get the impression that "men are lining up to be with her." She seems to be annoyed with her husband for some reason and it comes out later the woman says to her husband, "I know you have been having an affair." I am seeing a younger woman with long blonde hair at the party that he had supposedly been having an affair with. The pregnant older woman was angry and they were having a discussion as I wandered away to take my leave.  

I started to go out the door when I noticed that there was a camera taking pictures of everyone as they left. There was a photographer who asked me if I wanted a picture of myself and I said, "Sure!" She took the photo and it seemed like a newer version of a polaroid that developed on the paper in seconds. She has lots of other pictures of everyone at the party and they start to fall from her hand and I tried to help her catch them. I then had a realization that maybe she was wanting money from the pictures. She shows me a pretty picture of the family and asks me if I want to buy it. I apologized and told her I hadn't actually planned to go to a party and had only stopped by for a short visit and I hadn't brought any money with me at all. She apologized and said she should have asked first before she snapped a shot of me. But it seems she was taking pictures of lots of party goers and trying to sell them.  (Pictures via hacked phones/devices of Ugossip users is what this made me think of.)

The scene jumps and instead of the party I am leaving, it feels like this photographer's house and now some shady people have shown up looking for her because she is missing. I leave down some front stairs before they noticed me. I had a sense that these people wanted to harm her if they found her. As I went down the stairs, I saw a very big gold bag of coffee beans had been delivered and left outside her door on the steps. (Coffee "wakes you up"... information that wakes you up.) I decided she wouldn't be back for it so I grabbed it and covered it with a nearby square blanket type fabric and took it with me. I recalled that it was the same delicious coffee they served at the pregnant woman's house and I liked it a lot. (This speaks to me of "Ugossip original", which I had shut down with a phone call, being the retirement community and the photographer's house being "Ugossip backup" opened by "Clown".) I knew that when it was gone, I wasn't entirely sure how I could get more.

Earlier dreams I remember less of now, but I remember making out with a guy for a long time. He is someone that others fear, apparently, but I didn't. I wanted to be with him. He was talking about how much older he is than me even though he looks really young. Apparently he is ancient.

I recall needing to pee and looking for a toilet. They were closed off because of Covid restrictions but I decided to ignore the barrier and go into the bathroom anyway. I go to find a toilet and other people were in there as well and had the same idea as me. Some woman comes near me and is pissing on my shoe and I got angry with her for doing this and grabbed her violently. I woke up needing to pee for real.

I also remember a bit about being stuck in Italy (Rose McGowan or Kim Reeves?). I remember feeling like I wanted to go home because I didn't speak the language here and working in a country whose language I didn't speak would be a challenge. I remember considering that I might be able to learn some basic italian to get by, but I would never be able to fully comprehend what people around me were saying. Then there was something about explosions going off and bombs falling from the sky. There was more to this dream but I can no longer remember.

Oh yeah, I just remembered a bit about seeing Emily F. and I had mentioned something about facial hair coming in on my face. She mentioned she had noticed and considered it was an imbalance of some specific thing...or maybe it was the presence of it. I can't remember the word she used. I told her mine was due to having reached menopause and I expect it is normal aging. She seemed to indicate she was sad that I was menopausal. I told her that I was 52 and one child was quite enough for me. I had no need for more. I wasn't sad about it and I didn't mind the changes that were taking place.

The Amanda Connection

Amanda de Cadenet is connected to them all.

Is she the ultimate narc and ringleader of a three ring circus and playing multiple players against each other to gain what she ultimately wants?

Keanu Reeves.

It is clear she wants him back and all to herself. What lengths would she go to in order to achieve this goal? Murder? Manipulation to encourage others to do her dirty work for her?  

No doubt, many of the players are nasty, shady people with their own motives and agendas to get something from Keanu. Everyone around him seems to want something from him.

Who actually has his back and best interests in mind? Does he know what a den of vultures and snakes he is surrounded by?

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Amanda seems to be connected to all of the highly shady people which makes her the shadiest of them all. Like attracts like.

_____________________

Courtney Love (allegedly killed Kurt Cobain and Kristen Pfaff)

River Phoenix (interviewed by Amanda. Asked him about sex.) 

Johnny Depp (allegedly killed River Phoenix; married to Amber Heard)

Amber Heard (married to Johnny Depp)

Rose McGowan (fiance to Marilyn Manson)

Marilyn Manson (Jennifer Syme was partying at his house the night she died)

All of MM's harem dye their hair black.

Alexandra Grant (Keanu's current "partner")

Jessicka Adams? (Dated MM band member, Twiggy Ramirez)

Keanu Reeves (the object of her obsession) and Patricia Taylor (Keanu's mom)

Jennifer Syme (died returning to MM's house)

Flea (RHCP and River's "best friend")

She seems to have adopted Jennifer's look here: