Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Follow the Right Rabbit, The Apocalypse is Now

I posted most of this on my social media accounts but I want to pull it all together in one place and maybe expound a bit.

Art by Alexander Jansson

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.

The apocalypse is right now.

Please wake up. Remember who you really are and choose your real life.

apokalupsis: an uncovering

Original Word: ἀποκάλυψις, εως, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
Transliteration: apokalupsis
Phonetic Spelling: (ap-ok-al'-oop-sis)
Short Definition: an unveiling, uncovering, revealing
Definition: an unveiling, uncovering, revealing, revelation.


Photo by Jacob Sutton

March 6, 2017  I dreamed of seeing and hearing a movie trailer and there was some dude's voice saying something about "Jackson is on an adventure but what he doesn't know is that it is a fantasy. Will Jackson choose his adventure or will he choose his real life?"

Later I dreamed something about how all of us combined create the veil and the more people choose their real life over the Adventure, the veil thins. When enough people choose their real lives, the veil completely falls away and we all wake up and go home. I want to go home. Come on people, wake the fuck up to who you really are, choose your real life so we can all go home.


March 28, 1996 I dropped some hair ties in the back of a toilet. I decided to retrieve my them from the open tank of the toilet. I pulled out a couple and then saw more and went to retrieve them. I had laid out the several hair ties and was trying to decide which were mine. I started to pick them up one by one and rinse them off. The latter ones I had picked up were hard and crusty and I could tell they were old, had been in there a long time, and weren't my hair ties. But as I held them, the dirt and crust fell away to reveal necklaces....four I think. I cleaned each one up and then looked at each closely. One appeared to be quite valuable. I asked to speak to a woman I thought might know who it belonged to. The first woman told me another woman would be with me in a little while. In the mean time, I showed the first woman the necklaces. The one of value was quite old and belonged to an Indian tribe up in the mountains. So I was going to take it to this tribe that it belonged to, but as I stood there waiting for the second woman to come out, an Indian brave appeared in full old style dress on horseback. He was beautiful and I knew he had come for what I had found. Before I could say anything or offer it to him, he had effortlessly taken it from my left hand. At this point in the dream the necklace had turned into a scarf like veil...black with trinkets on it (stones, shells, etc.). I think I said something to him like, "Please do take it back to your people. It belongs to them. I was going to go up the mountain to take it to them myself, but now I don't have to since you've come." He disappeared. The second woman came out and asked to see what I found. I told her it was gone and what had happened. Then I was told that what I had found was "The Veil of the Huron" or something like that. I was also told that it was valuable not only in price but also believed to hold magical powers. I think I was told that I shouldn't have given it to the brave, but given it to them. But I felt okay and it felt right to me that they had their veil back.

Comments: For years I tried to understand what this dream meant. I always knew it was powerful, but it wasn't until now that I understand. The Veil has two meanings. It is both referring to the veil that keeps us here in a cloud of forgetfulness and the bridal veil that the necklace turned into. The bridal veil was a cue for me to remember my true and real husband in the real world where I lay sleeping.

Art by Kinga Britschgi

So you know all those people on a "twin flame" adventure? That only serves to distract you from finding your way back to you and the organic real life. In this virtual reality, it is pieced together with our own fantasies and thoughts. That is why thought creates. Carrying out any grand mission/storyline is yet another distraction to keep you from what your true end goal should be. Those of us who hear those on the other side...well they aren't spirits at all. We are hearing through the veil. We lay sleeping and people are having conversations around us and we are hearing them.

Many religions keep us from finding ourselves by creating fear, self loathing, and guilt. Woo woo new age philosophies keep us just as clouded by asking us to live only in every now moment. They ask us to keep our vibrations up and plaster a smile and be happy always. Had I adhered to what they always prescribed, I would have never found my way to the end of the maze.

You are reaching for some lofty goal of "ascension" and a "new earth" or the "return of Jesus" and "heaven on Earth" and they are nothing but smoke and mirrors to keep you focused on everything but what you should. You are busy meditating the world into a better place while the religious folks are busy praying it into existence because some magical man in the sky is going to fix it all. It kind of sounds a lot like the Wizard of Oz, don't you think?

You have been lied to about the "afterlife". The afterlife as you know it is actually a recycling center meant to keep you on the hamster wheel you keep running on. Your "higher dimensions" in here are just more of the same...a virtual reality. You are trying so hard to reach higher dimensions in here but it is still all just ones and zeros. Everything in here is code and every perceived dimension is the same code and NONE OF IT IS REAL

It isn't that there is some big bad evil, really. I just think that when the game was designed, no one knew how hard it would be to get back out and we have been trying ever since the first ones went in to get people out of the game.

This is like Fantasy Island on crack...only it is more like hell now because that is what y'all have been creating with those thoughts rattling around in your brains. Suffering and struggle isn't natural to us. We don't actually need those things to grow because we are a pretty evolved species. We created this place that all of you think is real, afterall. Some of your top scientists marvel and wonder what kind of advanced species created such a complicated computer simulation. So it stands to reason we have evolved far beyond how primitive it is here.

It was originally designed to be like your amusement parks. It was supposed to be fun but quickly turned into something very different when people couldn't remember and get out.

All of you have a real family at home who misses you. Part of what you have to do is let go of all of your attachments to the virtual reality. Let go of your need and desire of the material shit. Let go of all the emotional baggage. Let go of your attachments to the character you are currently playing and have played and all of the other characters in your play. Let go of even your love for this virtual planet and all its beauty. Let go of the fighting the good fight for every single cause and even let go of the need to "be there for your loved ones". The need to not leave because you have children who need you or whatever reason is a trap. It is a sure way to boomerang back. They are characters in the play. You are a character in the play. When you let go of your attachments and start to discover who you really are, you will get to leave the game.

Right now we are so busy trying to save the planet, fighting for our rights, fighting a wall, fighting deportation, fighting pollution, fighting an oil pipeline, fighting each other and fighting and fighting and fighting. And all of the fighting only keeps us distracted from what you really need to be looking at closely. You need to unravel the signs, syncs and information you are being given to help you remember who you really are in the real world.

As soon as enough people choose their real life over the fantasy in this virtual reality, the veil drops and we all get to go home.

I offer you something new that isn't religion or woo woo spirituality. I offer you the apocalypse. I offer you a way out of this virtual reality.

What will you choose? Your virtual family and adventure or your real family and real home?


One door leads to an important mission. One door leads you to your "one true love" and one leads you back to yourself and your real organic life. Which will you choose?

When I was a child, the song Hotel California always left me feeling deeply disturbed and now I know why:

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device"
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "

I choose me.

I choose home.

I choose my real life.

I want to go home to my real family.

Art by Alexander Jansson

"I cannot understand why you should wish to leave this beautiful country and go back to the dry, gray place you call Kansas."
"That is because you have no brains," answered the girl. "No matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful. There is no place like home."
The Scarecrow sighed.
"Of course I cannot understand it," he said. "If your heads were stuffed with straw, like mine, you would probably all live in beautiful places, and then Kansas would have no people at all. It is fortunate for Kansas that you have brains."

L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Oz, #1)


Thursday, March 2, 2017

I Am Not This Reality



Photo by Willy Suwandhi

I had a dream last night that was basically showing me that none of this was real. This is a virtual reality designed to be a school. That is why I get so often the school theme...because it really is and it is to teach us not to be assholes in here so that we aren't assholes out there. None of us probably spend as much time in here as we think.

Dream after dream I have had about two puzzles that I was trying to put together. I would get so frustrated and put the puzzles away. I will include some of those dreams below:

November 8, 2013 Also there was something about a puzzle. I put a puzzle together but there were all these other pieces like there had been a second puzzle in the box. I put the pieces of the second puzzle back in the box but bits of earth and moss went in with the pieces. I carefully took out the chunks of moss and moist soil and put it around the base of a mailbox (communication?). There were worms mixed in the soil and I noticed a single caterpillar. None of it was gross and wasn't trying to discard it, but was trying to separate it carefully so that I didn't lose any of the pieces of the second puzzle. I woke up before I had a chance to put together the second puzzle. There was a micro cd played but i can't remember what the music was.




August 17, 2014 There were puzzle pieces in my purse but only a couple pieces fit. All the pieces seemed like sky and border pieces because they were all blue. There wasn't a complete puzzle and I wasn't even sure if the pieces were part of the same puzzle. 

January 23, 2015 I was in the water doing puzzles and I think Nuno was in the water with me. I decided to put the puzzle away because I wasn't going to have time to finish it before I got out of the pool, so I started to put it away. I think I remember seeing Dan Reed's face as part of the puzzle. But then suddenly the water pulled back and then went forward and straight up leaving us really high up in the air and when it came down we crashed onto the floor and were hurt. Nuno and I went off somewhere to nurse our wounds. 

September 11, 2015 There was also a dream about puzzles. There were two puzzles...a large one on the table and a smaller one on the floor. Come to find out they were my puzzles I had been working on. Another girl was there helping me put pieces in place. Sometimes when I went to put a piece in place in the larger one, bits would slide off the table and I would have to reassemble it. The smaller one on the floor was mostly together except smaller pieces. There was something about some woman mentioning how red my lipstick was and it was as red as her own and she moves forward to kiss me. 

September 30, 2015 There was something about puzzle pieces and doing puzzles and two puzzles getting mixed up together. I tried to keep them apart but at one point just didn't care and put both puzzles away. 

And that is exactly the problem I have faced with all of this. I have pieces of memory coming in about who I really am and my actual life and I have pieces about the role I am performing here and the assignments I have been given. I have been trying to make my real life fit into the puzzle of my virtual life and it has confused the fuck out of me to no end. 

 I think I am finally starting to get it. It is about fucking time because I am tired and cranky. Lol

We have to play out our roles, solve the problems and collect the bits for the experience and tools it gives us, kind of like with any game. Are we actually all one? Are you actually another version of me? Are Adam and Eve actually the same being? I don't know. In the game only I think they are the same being. In my real reality, my partner/spouse is playing the Lucifer character. My over there cousin is performing the role of Adam.

What I know for sure is there isn't a big bad virus to fight other than one perhaps programmed for us to defeat just as there is always a big bad at the end of any game. We are nearing the end of the game.

My gamer story has revealed the story-line I am playing out is that of Eve and later Mary, mother of Yeshua. A multitude of players can come in and play out those same roles and story lines simultaneously just as we do in any role playing game. You get to choose the characters you play and the lessons for each player will look different according to what choices we have made along the way. We are playing out all the possibilities of outcomes. That means it is possible there is an Adam/Yeshua who simply cannot grow or take responsibility for himself and his life. What if his Eve/Mary's lesson is to let go, set him free and nurture herself in a loving way. There could be countless Eve/Mary's here in this reality all playing out different possibilities.

Instead of saying "we are all one" maybe the truest phrase would be "we are all connected" exactly like the flower of Life.

There is beauty in our uniqueness and separateness. Religion is too far in one direction and new age spirituality is too far in the other

The key is balance.

It always has been but our pendulums have been wildly swinging back and forth. The truth is not in one extreme or the other. The truth is in the middle.

So fight the good fight and save this virtual world or look inside yourself for your answers and ask yourself some important questions:

1. Who am I really?
2. What is the mission my character came for? In other words, what scene are you supposed to be playing out and what are you supposed to be learning? If you aren't asking yourself in all moments "What am I supposed to be learning from this?" Then you are not doing the assignments you signed up for in this virtual reality school.

In order to recognize what needs to be worked on and learned, you have to see the patterns in your life that keep coming back over and over. Once you recognize the patterns, you can then make different choices instead of repeating the same actions over and over again.

When you finally get what I have only just come to understand, you can breathe a sigh of relief and then tackle each moment in life as the challenge in the game that it actually is and learn what those moments are asking you to learn. You can choose to be distracted by Trump, the whole world going to hell or you can focus on getting the fuck out of the game and graduating.

So when you no longer see me getting worked up about the state of the world, it is because I understand now that the only fight I have always faced is within. I have learned a lot along the way and can now extract the lessons I struggled to accept. It has always been a journey back to myself, I just didn't always know it until now.

Don't you think you should stop fighting and start looking to the lessons you are meant to learn so that you can graduate and go home?

Did you hear that? It is the sound of the alarm clock ringing. What will you choose?